Beginning IUI with donor

[SingleTTC31]

Hi all,

I have just began the journey to become a single mum using donor sperm and IUI. I have my first consultation at the start of Feb.

Just wondering if anyone else is starting themselves or any advise on the process, any do or don't tips to try and nudge the odds in my favour.

I am 31, and as far as I am aware atm I have no fertility issues and regular af.

TIA

@TreeRoad lovely to hear success stories. Hope all goes well for you😊
@SingleTTC31 yes I also looked at Cryos but it seemed almost double the price and I couldn't really work out why?!
Anyway, finally took the plunge and ordered my sperm today. Just have to give it the green light once my genetics results are in this week and then it should be here within a couple of days. I feel a bit weird now though. It feels like it's all just around the corner maybe? Like it suddenly all sped up. I have a consultation tomorrow with my clinic to determine timescales but will hopefully still be on for May (day 1 will be 6/7 for me) 🤞🤞🤞

@JH01 yeah same, I couldn't see what was different to warrant such a price difference. Very exciting that you have ordered it now. It does feel like things are speeding up now. Hopefully everything goes ahead for you on May and the meeting today goes well

@SingleTTC31 @JH01 my clinic only uses Cryos, so didn't really have any other option! They were best based for me travel wise and also had gotten good reviews... so I just went with them. I won't look at ESB now or I'll be raging that I've overpaid

@singleTTC31 that's annoying about your cycle but at least you'll be overly prepared if it does end up being June.
@TTCSOLO I agree - just don't look. I've decided to follow that philosophy with the amount of money steadily flowing out of my account. It'll all be worth it in the end though😊 Just had my next consultation and they've scheduled my nurses appointment for this Thurs to go through consents and book my blood tests. So now I just need my genetics result to come back quick enough to stay on track for May. Starting to feel a bit terrified now, even though I'm also excited.

Sorry just realised that message sent too soon! I meant to say that it's great that you've ordered your sperm @JH01 it does feel like it's really sped up though, it's only a few weeks until May! 🤞🤞 hope your consultation goes well today!

@JH01 that's great news, it's all coming together quickly now, fingers crossed for the genetics results. I completely agree with you, the minute I opened the email saying that the donor sperm had arrived yesterday terror hit me! But it's equal parts excitement! It finally feels like it's actually happening now.

Well that's the invoice paid for the sperm. Just clinic to pay next week. Another step in the right direction! 😆

What do you think about the donors at Cryos that only have a basic profile? I'm trying to keep costs down and 860 Vs 1050 or even 1600 is quite significant. But the info is so brief it seems like I'm buying meds rather than someone's genes!
Can I ask how many samples you bought? My clinic charges 550 everyone you transport and store a set of samples so don't want to have to keep transporting more if the first 3 iui fail. But I also don't want to buy too many which will be money down the drain if it works in the first few cycles.
Any advice?

@SingleTTC31 that's great news. We're all getting there step by step! I had my nurses appt today so my consents are done, medication waiting at the pharmacy and blood work booked in for end of the month. It felt very weird going through the plan with the nurse step by step, almost like I was talking about someone else!
@Zibidee I guess it depends how you are choosing your donor. It seems like everyone has a different way of choosing so to some people minimal information is not really an issue but others prefer to have more. I think it really is up to you. If you feel OK about not having much information then that's fine. In the end I imagined speaking to my child about my decision and went with what felt right to me in that context. The bank I used only charge slightly more if the donor is a full id disclosure donor but otherwise it's a standard price and a standard shipping fee. Is it only Cryos bank that your clinic use? There seem to be quite a few different options with that bank and different fees to pay. My clinic advised me to purchase 4 vials so that's what I did. The sperm bank give me a years free storage and will buy back any unused vials at 50% if I use their storage but I decided to ship them all here and store them at my clinic instead so that I don't pay repeated shipping costs unnecessarily. Hope that makes sense?!

@JH01 yes it does, I guess it's all a probability game. I keep coming back to the idea that plenty of men are offering it for free, but there are many downsides to that too. So hopefully the cost will be worth it.
My clinic suggested 5 banks but only 2 had UK availability and ESB didnt have anyone with blue eyes which is what my wife has and was our only physical criteria. Also that leaves Cryos.

@SingleTTC31 that's great news, another step done!
@Zibidee I could only use Cryos but didn't feel that the very basic profile was enough for me to make a choice, so I did make my choices out of the profiles with more info.
I just keep thinking that it's worth the cost to get the outcome that I want, though its a big expense I know.

@JH01 great news about your consents being done and prescription waiting! It makes it feel a bit more real I think?

@TTCSOLO yep it's definitely feeling more real now. I can't wait to get started but there is that slight fear/anticipation sitting there too.
@Zibidee yeah I understand the difficulty of making that choice especially as I don't have a great deal of money to play with. It must be even more frustrating when the banks choices are so limited. In the end I decided that I was going to try and not focus on the financial side of things too much as I know how much stress that would add which is always going to be counterproductive when we're trying to get pregnant. As @TTCSOLO said, the outcome is definitely worth it and that's what I'm staying focused on. I know that's easier said than done though😒 Also, I'm not sure as I'm currently single but perhaps being married (and therefore your baby being born with two loving parents) gives the decision of which donor a somewhat different perspective than someone who is going it solo?

@Zibidee I was lucky to get a donor from ESB who has blue eyes, he sold out very quickly in less than a week. I believe there are some coming back in from different donors the start or mid May. Have you asked them in the chat function? I found them very helpful. I also wanted blue eyes as I have blue. Although I also looked at what other eye colours the donors family had like siblings or parents. I found Cryos very expensive and wanted the letter and more info. Also ended up going with a donor from out with uk so had pictures as a child as well.

@JH01 that's so exciting that your forms are done. Hopefully the bloods go fine. Did you get the genetics back?

@TTCSOLO are you just waiting now for the next cycle to start? The expense is mind boggling, I added it up the other day, really wish I hadn't now lol

@SingleTTC31 yes just waiting for day 1 now! The tracker app I use is saying it'll be May 6th, so fingers crossed its spot on, I'll be like a mad woman thinking every little twinge is AF starting!
I have my consent forms so just need to bring them to my 1st scan. I know, the cost is honestly overwhelming if you stop and think about it, I just keep telling myself it'll be worth it.
Do you have an estimated delivery date for your sperm? You've just got your nurses appointment and then wait for cycle too?

@SingleTTC31 no, still waiting on the genetics but should be within the next week, then can give the sperm bank the green light and they'll ship within 2 days. I've got my medication now and blood tests are next weekend. Just need to hope the covid tests come back negative a week before my cycle as well. That would be just my luck! My day one is also May 6th @TTCSOLO. I'm really hopeful that everything will get done in time to start then. And yes, I can guarantee that I'll also be analysing every last thing my body does😂 I'm also trying to avoid looking at my bank balance. It's astounding how expensive it all is. The clinic keep saying I can cut costs by getting certain tests and stuff done on the NHS but last time I checked there was a 14 day wait for blood tests and then results within the following two weeks so much too long to wait. Anyway I know its going to be worth every last penny😊

How is everyone doing? I feel like time has slowed down! The closer it gets to the start of my cycle the slower it's going. 🙄 @JH01 any sign of your genetics results?

@TTCSOLO Things have been good. I'm back to work full time next week, typical it's the week of my Nurses appointment. Found out today I don't need the hiv etc bloods to be done. Also paid for the treatment today. Makes it feel even more real! How long have you got until your next cycle again? Is it ten days?

@SingleTTC31 that is so typical isn't it? You'll be able to get out for your appointment ok though? That's good news about your bloods as well. What will this appointment be to go through, is it running through the whole process and consents etc? it really does seem to make it real when you make the payment doesn't it? I felt quite relieved when I'd done that bit.

My app is saying 13 days till my next cycle, I'm hoping it'll be on time! Although I'm quite stressed this week (just work stuff, and nothing major) so hoping that won't affect anything 🙁
All going well, when is your next cycle?

Hey guys, yes @TTCSOLO it definitely seems to have slowed down a bit. I'm still waiting on these genetic results which they're now saying are due anytime between 24th April and 5th May😒 If they don't turn up soon then that will count me out of my May cycle. Had a bit of a freak out last week and started thinking maybe I should wait a bit but think I'm over that now! Sounds like things are still moving along for you both so hopefully everything will go to plan.

@TTCSOLO all going well my next cycle will start around 14th May. Just over a week to go before you start, eek! Getting very close now.

I have signed all the consents today, so now just waiting for the sperm to arrive at my clinic and then CD1. Hopefully sperm will be there before then, otherwise I have another month of waiting. Briefly told my line manager what was going on today as I will need to go for quite a few bloods next cycle, and it's looking like they will fall whilst she is on holiday (when I have to cover her lol)

@JH01 fingers crossed the results turn up this week if they haven't already 🤞

Are you both medicated or unmedicated?

@SingleTTC31 why was I so convinced your nurses appt was today? I was all set to wish you luck with it 🙈 that's good news though, hopefully delivery will be quick for you! Was your manager good about it? Is getting really exciting now! I'm on a medicated cycle.
@JH01 absolutely everything crossed that your results arrive in time. I know what you mean about the freak out, I did the same over the weekend and then had to talk myself around.
Fingers crossed May works for all of us 🤞

Hi all! Hope everybody is doing good? I have had a super busy end to the week with work, all of hospitality in Scotland either opening or planning to reopen soon. I got a positive OPK on schedule so looks like CD1 will be 14th for me ☺️ I also chased up my sperm this week and it is being shipped on Monday! So it will definitely be here in time for the 14th, I was getting a bit concerned it wouldn't be.

@TTCSOLO How are you feeling about the medication? Is it all injection or some oral? I've only been prescribed 2 ovitrelle, one before O which may not be used and one for after the IUI to help support the PG. Have you got anything booked in for CD1 or is it just to call the clinic?

@jh01 any news yet? Are you looking good to start this month ? How weird saying that eh?

@zibidee I saw on another thread that you had the HyCoSy, I'm glad it went well for you. Have you got your consents appointment next or is there anything left to do before that?

Yes consent appointment booked for 13th and to plan treatment then it will be sperm implications counselling and ordering sperm. It's very helpful hearing everyone's stories to get an idea of the pathway.
I just heard my work (teacher) may not pay me when I have time off because I won't be doing IVF, it will be iui. IVF gets automatic pay for appointments. The headteacher apologised for lack of inclusion for LGBT fertility and agreed it needed updating, but she might not be able to do anything about it. A nice kick in the teeth for an already ridiculously expensive treatment!

@Zibidee I was told to get sperm ordered before consents appointment so things can keep moving. Also counselling is offered but not mandatory at my clinic, it may be different for you as one parent wouldn't have a biological link so the counselling may be of benefit there ? Odd they won't give you paid time off, the time off is about the same length of time you would need off for normal dr/bloods appointment and that is normally paid, or you give up some Non contact time, if I remember correctly, it's been a few years since I was a teacher. I would speak to union as well. If you needed bloods/dr for other reasons they couldn't not pay you same as if you were a straight couple going through Fertility investigations.

Sorry I got a bit on my soap box there 🤣

I will be less than a month from consents to starting cycle due to how dates are working out and sperm being shipped which is both exciting and terrifying.

@SingleTTC31 I'm a little bit nervous about injecting but not overly so. I've got oral medication (femara) for 5 days, then 2 lots of injections , one starts day 3 (menopur), the other after my first scan (day 7? Cetrotide) then a trigger shot (ovitrelle) as well! So it's going to be busy 🙂 delighted to hear that you're on track for the 14th! That's so exciting
@Zibidee so sorry to hear that your time off isn't covered, that's absolutely ridiculous and so unfair, but glad your HyCoSy went well