Beginning IUI with donor

[SingleTTC31]

Hi all,

I have just began the journey to become a single mum using donor sperm and IUI. I have my first consultation at the start of Feb.

Just wondering if anyone else is starting themselves or any advise on the process, any do or don't tips to try and nudge the odds in my favour.

I am 31, and as far as I am aware atm I have no fertility issues and regular af.

TIA

@SingleTTC31 that's so great that you got your HyCoSy done, even though it's not the nicest of procedures. Glad you're feeling OK. How long are they saying the sperm could take to arrive? Did you choose one in particular? I think I've decided on the donor but need to just bite the bullet and order it. Still waiting on this genetic screening which is already taking longer than expected so might not end up getting it all done in time for May😒

@JH01 I still need to choose. My bank won't get the ones I really liked in for a May cycle, so trying to decide what one to go for. Are you waiting on the results or for the blood draw?

@SingleTTC31 that's fantastic news! So delighted that it could ahead 😀 Fingers crossed for us all in May now

@SingleTTC31 it's a saliva test which is being sent from the US and needs to then be sent back there. They said its a two week turnaround from the order date but I ordered it last week and still haven't received it so can't see how it will only take another week to get it sent back and analysed🤷‍♀️ Luckily the bank are letting me reserve the donor so I don't miss out. Are you finding it difficult or easy to choose one? I know @TTCSOLO - everything crossed for us🤞🤞🤞

@TTCSOLO good luck for Monday

@JH01 I am finding it difficult to make the final decision. I'm probably overthinking things and have very limited choices as well. They must be hoping for express delivery. Hopefully it won't take much over the 2 weeks.

@TTCSOLO hope bloods go fine on Monday. So you know hen they will give you the results?

@hopefulitsmyyear thanks 😊
@SingleTTC31 no actually! I think mentioned blood results usually take two weeks, when I had my AMH done with them, so hopefully will be the same. I got my prolactin bloods repeated and they're back to normal thank goodness.... I must have been stressed when they took the first one?
It's a tough decision to choose the donor, I think I kind of had to talk my self out of overthinking it.... the donor counsellor reminded me that I'm not picking a partner, which helped, if that makes sense?

@TTCSOLO with practice cling the donor it's more that all the ones on my short list aren't available. So going back to ones I disregarded before, some due to commonalities in medical history, such as one having RA in the family, I have RA in my family and was previously referred for testing which was inconclusive. That sort of thing. Then the decision of donor with pictures or without?

@SingleTTC31 ah of course, it's a pity that so many are out of stock at the minute. I didn't use any of the extended profiles, so no adult photos, but they did all have baby photos. I felt the baby photo was more relevant than how they looked as an adult. Best of luck with making your choice though!

@TTCSOLO I haven't looked at adult photos as it seemed like a bit of a rip off. I think I would like the baby photos but those that donate in the UK don't have any, as it's not legal or something. So benefit of no photo is that the donor is in UK, but I think the pic would be nice for a future child to see? Btw glad you understood my post this morning I was half asleep 🤣

I was definitely overthinking it initially and analysing every bit of information, which there is a lot of on the American sites and it was totally overwhelming. One bank had predominantly adult photos which felt a bit odd to me when I was looking at them so I decided not to use that one. In the end I just imagined having a conversation with my child about the choice I'd made and decided to just go with someone who seemed like a pleasant person and who was genetically compatible. In some ways it seems like such a huge decision but then it kind of isn't at the same time? It's honestly felt like entering a different world at times.
Is it just the ESB that your clinic uses @SingleTTC31?

So went back on to ESB, the donor with pics had gone. A new one was on though. Had a look through, spent the last ten minutes going between him and the one without pictures. Finally decided that pictures would be better for potential child. Then bit the bullet! 😂 Didn't think it would order, thought there was another page to go,but at least that is the procrastinating done with!

Think it feels even more real now that bit has been done. Anyone else feel the same?

@JH01 my clinic also uses Cryos but it's so much more expensive for the sperm, which I think is just a rip off tbh

I'm due a HyCoSy in two weeks, petrified, after the transvaginal ultrasound I had today which made me feel violated. Just fear of having things put up me!
What was the HyCoSy like?

@Zibidee have you had a smear test before? The first part is the same as the start there. The catheter you don't feel until it gets to your cervix. It was a sharp pain as the catheter passes through. Uncomfortable slight cramp as the abloom expands and then the dye is released. The dye doesn't hurt but moving the catheter around is like sharp cramps. Uncomfortable but not agony. They also do a transvaginal ultrasound again too so they can check the tubes. I think mine probably hurt because I should have had my period so my endometrium was pretty thick. Also I was about 30 mins late taking a NSAID before it and only took half a dose (all I had with me)
Take a pad in for after as you leak all the dye back out.

If it is giving you a lot of anxiety talk to the Dr at the clinic, maybe a low dose valium an hour before would help? The more anxious and tense you are the worse it will be. Remember and breathe through it as well.

My Dr was very good at explaining every step and how it would feel and showing me the things on the screen as we went. When I did hiss she checked I was ok. I have a slightly hidden ovary so she had to press down on my abdomen so we could see the dye and check the tube. Again it was uncomfortable but not agony.

I drove home straight after. Had some very mild cramps on the way home, gone by the time I got home about 50 minutes later. I would at the cramps although sharper than most of my period pains they were over faster and not as painful.

The IUI procedure apparently hurts less as the catheter is more flexible/softer but will have the same sort of steps involved.

If you have been left feeling violated, perhaps you would be best speaking to a counselor at the clinic about this prior to proceeding. It isn't a very pleasant procedure but personally I wouldn't go as far as to say violating and as that is how you feel, then that needs to be addressed.

I hope this helps and good luck with the next stages of your treatment. Any other questions feel free to ask.

@SingleTTC31 I have the strangest feeling we are registered at the same clinic. Some of the things you've said, it's identical to my experience. 🧐

I just wanted to drop a message to say that we've just had a successful IUI and I'm now 5+3 pregnant. It was third time lucky for us so while treatment can be a difficult road, there are success stories and it's so worth the wait.

Good luck!

Thank you that was a really helpful description. The notes they gave me were very brief in comparison.
I'm not worried about the pain at all. Parts of today's scan were uncomfortable but the worse parts for me were being penetrated and then the probe coming out again. It simply felt humiliating and I had no control, even though I could have said no at any point. This is the same reason I've never had a smear, even though I know it is so important, the thought of booking one makes me shake, cry, break into sweat.
They have said everything is fine with my AMH test and the scan today so I know it's a beneficial test to have but I do wonder if I really need the HyCoSy.
Any advice is helpful, and glad you are making progress with the donor.

I guess I am

Ignore last typo.

@Zibidee you may not need the HyCoSy, but if the first round is unsuccessful, most likely, they would probably then suggest the HyCoSy as it could have been the reason it was unsuccessful. Also you will need at least another scan on top of the HyCoSy. Potentially more if you are doing a medicated cycle, plus early pregnancy scan. The pregnancy scan I suppose isn't compulsory, but you won't see anything abdominally for 8-9 weeks. Screening bloods are only valid for 3 months, so you would need them redone every time probably.

@TreeRoad congratulations, its so great to hear that people are successful with IUI, hope you're feeling well?
@SingleTTC31 well done on getting your sperm ordered, it definitely does make it feel more real I think.

@Zibidee maybe you could ask if you could do 1 IUI cycle first, as singleTTC31 suggested, before HyCoSy? Or else tell your Dr how you're feeling about them and see if there's anything they suggest that could make it more comfortable/ less stressful for you?

@TreeRoad perhaps, I am up I'm Scotland. Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope all goes well for you

@TTCSOLO how did your screening go today?

[quote SingleTTC31]@TreeRoad perhaps, I am up I'm Scotland. Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope all goes well for you

@TTCSOLO how did your screening go today?[/quote]
I am too. My clinic is/was GCRM in Glasgow. It was a comment you wrote about their patient portal going down a few weeks ago that struck me. I was in the same situation that weekend. 😂

Thank you, and I hope you get your positive soon!

@SingleTTC31 hi bloods were fine, I was in and out in about 3 minutes! Talk about efficient. I do have a lovely sore bruise but all OK otherwise. I collected my prescription as well. I was home about an hour when I had an email to say that the donor sperm has arrived!! So I will hopefully be set to go on my next cycle. Is your next step your nurse appointment on 28th?

@TTCSOLO that's great news your sperm has arrived! So will that be May for you? My appointment is 27th

@TreeRoad yeah it is the same clinic 😂

@SingleTTC31 oh even better, a day sooner than I thought, you should be good to go ahead with May too? Yes hopefully day 1 should be around 5/6 May, fingers crossed.

@TTCSOLO it will depend how long this cycle is. Atm it's looking like I will ovulate just 3 days after the appointment and not ovulate in May but the start of June. Stupid late period! It ended up being 8 days late