Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Husband not looking for somewhere to live after I asked to separate

85 replies

MillyHilly99 · 28/06/2026 19:26

I told my husband a month ago I wanted us to separate. A long story, but years of financial and emotional abuse and then discovering his addiction to pornography. He didn't put up a fight or say anything other than "So you want me to leave?" I said yes easier he leaves the house than me and the kids (mortgaged house). However he's making no effort to look for anywhere to live AT ALL. Flats are few and far between so he needs to act quickly. I told him about a great flat that came up, but he's not bothered to go find out about it. Wat can I do? I'm looking for a house for me and my daughters but there is really nothing available. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

OP posts:

Missey85 · 20/09/2026 06:59

If I were him I wouldn't leave you want the seperation then you leave it's his home as much as it is yours

Missey85 · 20/09/2026 07:02

LilyDaisyRoseFern · 16/07/2026 16:51

Surely OP can just call the police on her h for the watching porn with DC around issue?

Pls call the police and you can have him arrested OP. If your first post had started with this, you would have got very different responses to the ones you got initially which upset you

Ofc , you do not have to leave the family home when you have been paying full mortgage etc. You can divorce him and all of that, but first thing is to get him behind bars away from any children. It is illegal his abuse of them

Are you high or something 😂 porn isn't illegal the cops won't do anything because it's not a crime

JustGoogleIt15 · 20/09/2026 07:09

MillyHilly99 · 29/06/2026 08:22

Doesn't make them watch. Just carries on watching it in front of the children. I have daughters. Everyone says I should leave...not him. So I guess that's what I'll do. This is the end now

Show quote history

If he's watching porn and the children are there in the same room, call the police. He'll move out then, for sure

EvelynBeatrice · 20/09/2026 07:10

Missey85 · 20/09/2026 07:02

Are you high or something 😂 porn isn't illegal the cops won't do anything because it's not a crime

Show quote history

Watching it where children can see certainly is.

JustGoogleIt15 · 20/09/2026 07:11

MillyHilly99 · 29/06/2026 08:00

He agreed to move out. It was my house. I have paid all the bills and the mortgage but he convinced me to add his name . My children are scared of him.he won't pay the mortgage if I move out. But I think my neighbour is selling a caravan and that's the solution then. Or maybe if I try I can pay mortgage and rent . Thank you. Everyone says he should stay and me and my children should leave. I guess we saw it the wrong way. I just want my children protected

Show quote history

If it is your home, you are solely named on the deeds or rent book, see a solicitor immediately. You can't necessarily kick him out but you have way more rights

JustGoogleIt15 · 20/09/2026 07:12

MillyHilly99 · 29/06/2026 07:53

Yes he said he was going to leave and allow me to sell the house . I got my hopes up I guess thinking my children could get free of his relentless bullying and abuse. My youngest is scared. He doesn't pay anything towards the house. I work full time and have to leave my children at home with him and it makes me sick every day. He punched a hole in the door a few weeks ago because my daughter asked him for a blind for her bedroom. I don't know what you mean he gives me the ick (English was not my first language growing up). But we are scared of him if that's what you mean. I think you're right though. It's his house too even though I bought it. I should never have put his name on

Show quote history

Call the police immediately he does something inappropriate or violent

WingnutSOS · 20/09/2026 07:15

Leave, rent a place. Instruct solicitors to start divorce. stop paying bills on the house - inform utilities etc

contact police and social services asap and document the abuse.

get your kids out of there asap!

Wallywobbles · 20/09/2026 07:15

Most importantly have you reported the abuse. You need to document everything and report it to the police. Otherwise your poor kids will still be being abused after the divorce.

ItsAQuandryAlright · 20/09/2026 07:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

EvelynBeatrice · 20/09/2026 07:26

If you have a male relative or friend - or if you can borrow a particularly burly one - move them in. Abusive men often desist when there’s a male witness.

Flip

1 2 3 4