Husband not looking for somewhere to live after I asked to separate

[MillyHilly99]

I told my husband a month ago I wanted us to separate. A long story, but years of financial and emotional abuse and then discovering his addiction to pornography. He didn't put up a fight or say anything other than "So you want me to leave?" I said yes easier he leaves the house than me and the kids (mortgaged house). However he's making no effort to look for anywhere to live AT ALL. Flats are few and far between so he needs to act quickly. I told him about a great flat that came up, but he's not bothered to go find out about it. Wat can I do? I'm looking for a house for me and my daughters but there is really nothing available. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

If he is abusive and unsafe around the kids call the police and persevere with women's aid.

In the UK you could also apply straight away to the court for an occupational order to have him removed if the court agree he shouldn't be there. Do some research to see if your country has similar.

There are other domestic abuse services than Women's Aid. It's clear that you and your daughter are experiencing domestic abuse.

www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-abuse-how-to-get-help#find-additional-information-and-support

There is a list of agencies here.
https://womensaid.org.uk/information-support/womens-aid-directory/

You don't seem to be in the UK, so our advice may not apply.

What did the woman you spoke with advise? Did she not help you because she knows him?
Don't give up, stay strong.

A solicitor will just answer her questions and tell her likely outcomes and how much money/ legal process she will need to achieve various options. They won’t take her under their wing and give her personal advice. And it’ll cost the best part of £500

If she contacts the police/social services and they remove him from the home because of the violence and the family being scared of him. She could seek one. As I said this depends on how the police deal with the situation and if they feel justified in asking him to stay away, which depends on what evidence/story OP tells them and if he has previous etc none of which we know.

You are being abused OP. I cannot believe the responses you have had so far. You really need support from a domestic abuse charity to deal with this. Please get help.

@MillyHilly99 you need to report the abuse when it happens to Police. Each and every time. Punching holes in the door is abuse. In fact, go down to your local station and ask to speak to someone about what has been happening as it may be coercive control.

They will then arrest him or help you get an occupancy order so he HAS to leave the property.

In the meantime, prepare the house for sale. Get estate agents in to estimate and take pics. Get things moving.

If he still refuses to leave, go to court. Get the sale forced by court.

Don't cook or clean for him or engage with him otherwise.

the police can’t stop someone going into their own home without a court order.

i agree, contact them, but it’s not necessarily going to be a solution or even make a difference

OP, can you tell us which country you’re in? People may be able to offer more specific advice if they know that. 💐

Can you move someone else in? A woman I know got her big ( in all senses) brother to
move in. The soon to be ex husband’s abuse stopped immediately.