House sale now children 18

[Start4040]

Hi all ,
I’m just wondering if anyone had any experience of what happens when your children and it’s time to sell the house to give ex their share previously agreed in the courts ? I have been trying to save but I don’t have the money, I have tried to get mortgage/ loan but I’m on a low wage and is not an option. I’m so worried as if I’m forced to sell the house I don’t think I will even be able to afford studio flat . My family have put in as much as they can but it’s no where near enough.
I’m so worried… it’s been hell waiting for this day and I don’t know what to do .
My ex is not a reasonable man and will be coming for this .
Any help advice greatly appreciated,
thank you :(

Are you working full time?

Yes I am

You will be expected to sell if that was what was ordered, yes.

My ex is not a reasonable man and will be coming for this .

He might well not be a reasonable man, but there is nothing unreasonable about him coming for this. It was, as you said, previously agreed with the courts.

What is the equity in the house and how much of it do you get? How far is it from what you need for studio? Can the money that family are putting in to buy your house, be used for that (adding to the equity you get from selling house)?

I thought as much :( will I have to straight away ? It seems so unfair.. he has a 5 bed house no need for the money:(

How much equity will you get once it’s sold?

OP, set out the finances to see if this is possible, sometimes a broker can help

Income
House price
House equity
Current mortgage if there is one
What do you actually owe him
What is your job if not too specific (reason being - what are your options for transferring to something with higher income or working part time around your main job)
And this is a massive stretch but is there someone who you could joint buy with, a sibling, one of your children? - I know this is unlikely but dont rule it out

It’s not reasonable that he just gives up his share through, presumably it was a fair split at the time, and he had to wait years for it?

Mesher orders are so rare now, the chances are you wouldn’t even be given until 18 to sell the house nowadays.

I agree with PP that taking all your figures to a broker is a good move.

I’m sorry if this comes across as harsh but whether he ‘needs’ the money or not is irrelevant, it’s his money. Sounds as if he was very reasonable and gracious to allow you and the kids to stay in the house and wait years for the sale. I know it’s not nice for you at all but you’ll have to rent.

Hi OP, is it worth going back and checking whether it was when the kids turned 18 or left full time education? You can't live in a studio flat with two young adults so is your ex willing to have them live with him? Do they want to? I would ask him what he thinks the solution is. Though obviously this may only buy you a few years. Have you looked into and shared ownership options ?

They're adults so would be expected to maintain their own home surely.

Also OP what about a cheaper different area?

I agree with other posters, it is fair, its what was agreed although do check what the other poster mentions about being out of education rather than just turned 18 per se

Nevertheless, once they do leave education you have the same issue so make sure you are prepared for what you need to do.

Sure, but lots of mesher orders had the *or have left full time education as a caveat written into them. Therefore it is worth checking this. If they are still in education there is bugger all chance of them being able to house themselves.

Yes I said as much.

Are your kids in education? I’m surprised it’s not end of the school year when youngest is 18 ( so this summer)

I think that this is a big reason why courts have moved away from Mesher orders. I understand if they did it so a child could complete their GCSE or A-level course (so 2 years max) but most people’s wages aren’t rising at the same speed a house prices.

I doubt this would achieve anything. If there is equity in the property the OP can use it to rent but this is again a temporary fix to her income problems.

She is the one who needs to explain her financial circumstances to her children and what it means for them. If they want to have a separate discussion with their father it’s up to them.

This is exactly why mesher orders are a bad option and should only be considered when there is no other housing option.

They will eventually leave education, if they haven’t already. University usually doesn’t count as FT education.

The OP’s problem is she can’t afford to buy a property in her local area because of her income and the size of the property she wants. She needs to change one or all of those issues eventually. That means

1. moving
2. improving her income
3. downsizing
4. renting and using up any capital she has.

It's straightforward OP. You need to sell and split the equity as previously agreed.

That will give you a deposit for something smaller or in a less expensive area. You'll need to get a mortgage. Look at shared ownership. Consider taking a second job or a better paying job. Or more hours.

If your dcs are working, can they contribute? Are they away at uni in which case you will need fewer bedrooms?

Don't drag your heels because the court could hand responsibility for the sale over to your ex.

Have you considered shared ownership? Sadly mersher orders only put a plaster to the problem. It was supposed to give time to the resident parent to get themselves into a position to become self sufficient. Instead, it gave them the option to burry their head with no further solution at the end of it.

Sorry OP but there is nothing unfair about the situation. I hope shared ownership is a fair option to you or a move to a cheaper area. Otherwise, you're only option is to accept you'll have to rent in the future. How he invested his money after your divorce is his business and nothing to do with you.

Are the DC still at home? If you can’t afford to continue housing them will they move to his house? Does he understand you can’t afford to house them?
You have my sympathy. Children are dependent until well into their 20s now in many areas and it’s hard if you can’t house them. When we split we both managed to afford a 3 bed although I stayed in our more expensive area for DC sake so needed a mortgage . Am now crowded with 3 young adults still at home and he has a bigger place to himself. They don’t want to live with him though.

On FT NMW you can afford a 100k mortgage maybe 120k with.specialist lender.

How much have you saved?

What's the equity? If you've been servicing the mortgage you must have a decent amount

If he has a 5 bed while having significant assets tied up (your house) hes clearly been earning well so of course he has more money
That's life...

It is fair and you've known its coming
The best thing you can do is plan for it.

Did you take pension and house equity in the divorce?

You've presumably got equity in your house so you can use that as a deposit or towards rent.

A friend of mine had one of these arrangements and her ex stopped paying the mortgage the month after their youngest turned 18. So try to be prepared for that - ie be prepared to leave the house or have enough money to cover the mortgage.

Would either of your parents or other relatives be in a position to use equity release on their own home to help you out - like an early inheritance? I know this is a huge ask and might not be possible but it's another way of getting some more savings towards a deposit.

Sorry OP - but this is the realty of the agreement you made at the point of divorce and presumably you've had a big amount of time to prepare for it.

Hes not unreasonable to expect his share

you’ve been tying up his capital and had use of the property. He hasn’t. You knew this day was coming and had time to prepare. This highlights why Meshers are rarely a good idea

if it’s in the order that age 18 triggers the sale he can easily get van enforcement order to do so and that’s what will happen

Can you speak to your husband and say (only if it’s true):that if you could have the house you will guarantee that when you die the money will ALL go to the children you had together. Perhaps you have some savings you could offer to him.

She's also been housing his children (who they are - or at least should be- jointly responsible for).