House sale now children 18

[Start4040]

Hi all ,
I’m just wondering if anyone had any experience of what happens when your children and it’s time to sell the house to give ex their share previously agreed in the courts ? I have been trying to save but I don’t have the money, I have tried to get mortgage/ loan but I’m on a low wage and is not an option. I’m so worried as if I’m forced to sell the house I don’t think I will even be able to afford studio flat . My family have put in as much as they can but it’s no where near enough.
I’m so worried… it’s been hell waiting for this day and I don’t know what to do .
My ex is not a reasonable man and will be coming for this .
Any help advice greatly appreciated,
thank you :(

Yes and she’s had full benefit of the house until now, presumably capital and pension ( or her share of assets) and cms. She’s likely has years to prepare.

Given that it seems that the OP is likely single (as she has been talking in the singular and only referring to her savings/salary) and hasn't mentioned any additional children, seems likely that this would happen anyway. Doesn't seem that this offer has much (anything) in it for her ex-husband.

whilst this is unfair on you, it’s not exactly unreasonable for him to want his money back? His children are 18 and he is not obliged to financially support another adult

@Advocodo where else would it go?
the dc would I presume get the inheritance from their DF anyway?

I tried something similar with exH. In order for me to stay in the family home I agreed that he could keep 20% equity. There was no mortgage left to pay and the 20% at the time was worth c £150k. I asked (and he agreed) to put this sum in his will for our children as I was doing with my estate (basically the 80% I owned).
He had enough cash available when we divorced to buy somewhere else with his new partner who he married. He wouldn't confirm in his most up to date will post marriage that the 20% was still going to our kids.

Not necessarily. See my post @13.35.

You can't do that because you don't know what the future holds. She might re-marry or have to go into a care home.

I read it more as if op remarried she would ring fence the exh money for the dc and it wouldn’t go to her new h?

If he has been paying the mortgage also, then he too has been housing his children in that house.

Exactly. And he must have been paying the mortgage also because the OP states that she can't get a mortgage on her own.

That was what I wanted my exH to do but when he changed his will post marriage I suspect the money was no longer ring fenced. He has almost zero contact with his now adult kids or our grandchildren.

You need to get the house valued and work out how much you are likely to get from the sale (price minus costs) then go and see a mortgage broker (take 3 months' pay slips) and ask what mortgage you will be allowed to have.

Think about how you might be able to increase your income. Lodger? Kids contributing? Could you get another job with higher earnings?

You might want to buy ex out?

Not necessarily. My ex is still on the mortgage but I have paid it and all bills on my own for the last 8 years.

But presumably when you finally do sell, and the assets set out, you'll have paid more in, so he gets less paid out. Its semantics but by losing his share, he's paid his share.

Probably because you’re divorced and his will is none of your business.

But the 20% equates to the money I put towards our first joint home when he had nothing for the deposit. Why should the man he married get this money and not our children/grandchildren?

But you gave it to him. Once its his, its his.

Morally one can think whatever about that, but he doesnt have to tell anyone about his will.

I also gave out equity which I highly highly regret. My biggest piece of advice to anyone is never be generous.

Many People buy boats or live in vehicles to avoid paying rent, if you have a chunk of cash this could be an option. Boat life is lovely (tough but magical)

If she were to remarry then she would have to sell up and pay the money she owes to her husband. Presumably her new husband would have his own home and they coukd pool their resources. I would like to know the statistics about how many women remarry after a divorce. I would suspect it’s fairly low and she hasn’t remarried so far. Her husband could legally sign over his
half to their children so care fees couldn’t touch that portion. However the kids would have to pay stamp duty on their house purchases as it would be considered a 2nd home. It would also mean her husband has then not to worry about leaving his money to his children especially if he now has another family,

I would use your half for a static caravan on a 12 month park if you cannot afford a house/flat. Many do this and seem to be very happy’

OP can live in a studio (or whatever her budget stretches to) as the children are adults over 18. / or whenever this clause in the divorce kicks in.

How long ago was the divorce settlement agreed?

I love the post about the children being responsible for their own homes. FFS its hard enough for 30 year olds to get housing let alone 18 year olds or very young adults! People are insane on here you can see young people can't normally afford rentals on an 18 year olds salary. The ex-H should be making sure the kids are ok first and foremost not matter what age they are.

But getting back to your situation OP, please do a thorough investigation on shared ownership this might be a resolution and any income like Universal Credit can be added to affordability calculations too. There's a Facebook page for shared ownership which has a lot of sensible advice and mortgage brokers give free advice on there as well. Its the way I think I might have to go and I suspect my DC are the same age as yours.

Ridiculous
Of course parents want to help their children and do it out of love.

You make it sound that an ex husband should house ex wife forever because they have kids. How about OP now funds them

No wonder the marriage and birthrate is declining.

I can't imagine many landlords would rent to an 18 year old even if the 18 year old had means to pay. They could always apply for council housing and wait a couple of decades to get to the top of the list.

It is ridiculous that people are talking about 18 year olds now being completely responsible for themselves. Young people in care get support until they are 21 or 25 as there is a recognition that it's pretty much impossible for an 18 year old to house themselves.

I can't imagine many landlords would rent to an 18 year old even if the 18 year old had means to pay
At that age you'd expect them to rent in a share house, not have the luxury of a one bed flat!

This is what I did for years in my 20s. Getting my own flat was a real luxury that I enjoyed when I was 25. I couldn't afford any luxuries but O was do happy to not share any longer, I didn't care.