Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Parent-shaming over sending children back to school

64 replies

KayBee183 · 27/05/2020 16:22

Has anyone else been on the receiving end of quite nasty judgement or shaming for saying they'll be sending their child back to school or nursery on 1 June?

Parent-shaming levels do feel particularly high at the moment...

Do you find it upsetting?

OP posts:
DDIJ · 27/05/2020 16:24

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

PickUpAPickUpAPenguin · 27/05/2020 16:24

I've seen both parents who are sending them in and not sending them in shamed. You need to try and 🤷‍♀️ Hmm whatever your choice is

ScarfLadysBag · 27/05/2020 16:27

Coronavirus has been an absolute gift to the type of people who enjoy nothing more than being self-righteous twats. Look on the bright side: the shamers are doing you the favour of letting you know they are bell-ends and thus can be safely removed from your life.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 27/05/2020 16:27

I don't discuss what I'm doing with anyone but I've seen a lot of comments on social media along the lines of "why would anyone send their children back to school right now."

cadburyegg · 27/05/2020 16:28

I was called a “dangerous buffoon” on here last night for stating the reasons my 5 yo would be returning to school Hmm

ScarfLadysBag · 27/05/2020 16:29

@cadburyegg Was that by Bertie Wooster?! Buffoon Grin

Smellbellina · 27/05/2020 16:29

No I’ve seen a lot of ‘do what you thinks best for you and yours’, where have you been getting these types of comments from?

stayathomer · 27/05/2020 16:34

I dont know that I'd go as far as shaming but people feel very strongly about choices in this pandemic. After a few of those conversations with friends I realised people should just be left to rant or justify their choices- it's what they want and need (plus all peoples situations are so different)

DominaShantotto · 27/05/2020 16:39

Seen a lot of it about - or indirect shaming sharing really emotive and factually dubious articles wondering (in that delightfully passive-aggressive way) "how could anyone want their child to go to a school like this?"

I've looked into how the school are managing things, read their policies regarding how they're implementing bubbles etc and mine are going back. Would I rather they were going back in to their class of 30 friends with the curriculum as normal? Yes - but that's not an option and this is the better option of those available for my family and their circumstances right now.

Pipandmum · 27/05/2020 16:40

No but then I've only spoken to my friends about it and we are all of the same mind about it. Our kids are older Y10 and 12 and we are confident in our school's precautions (only going back one day a week initially) and ability to keep apart.
They also have good systems for the lower years so would be ok with mine going back if they were of that age.

Magicbabywaves · 27/05/2020 16:43

Our class WhatsApp was pretty ‘firm’ on its viewpoint that it was too early. Those of us sending back kept quiet on there and spoke to each other.

BlingLoving · 27/05/2020 17:01

I haven't seen it in real life but lots online. I suspect it's happening in real life, people just aren't as blatant about it.

howdidwegetheremary · 27/05/2020 18:31

I read one post on here that said perhaps those not sending DC back are probably worried that theirs will be missing out on something.

They are your DC so your choice. At some point we will all have to try to return to some sort of ‘normal’.

I agree with the reasons for opening as some children will not have the same provision at home as others do. It’s vital.

Uhoh2020 · 27/05/2020 18:48

Yes I've seen from some mums on the class WhatsApp not directly but more indirect comments "like I'm keeping little Johnny safe not sending him out to be killed by a virus " yet the same Mums are having gatherings and also saying they cant wait for the pubs to open and enjoy a night out! Hmm

ChippityDoDa · 27/05/2020 19:01

Yes, on our school WhatsAp. Lots of passive aggressive comments about “well, I personally love spending every minute with my kids, I’m not sure why any parent would want this time to end...” 🙄

Alex50 · 27/05/2020 19:07

That’s just awful 😞 my heart goes out to parents with young children, just ignore them, they are either terrified or just self righteous, do what you think is best for your child, better to send now than in September as loads of bugs will be about and hardly any children will go on Monday Flowers

BillywilliamV · 27/05/2020 19:10

They are just validating their decision by rubbishing yours! Ignore, ignore,ignore,!

SueEllenMishke · 27/05/2020 19:15

Our class WhatsApp was awful too. A handful of parents shouting about 'health before wealth' ... Parents who are furloughed or SAHP. They're so blinkered in their view and can't seem to see the situation from someone else's perspective. I've had to mute it for my own sanity.

Uhoh2020 · 27/05/2020 19:21

I had to leave 1 group when the comparison was made between sending your child to a class room of 10/15 children was equivalent to leaving your child in a supermarket for 6 hours a day with hundreds of different shoppers! Other comments like I'm not sending my child in because if they fall over no one will help my child and they'll need to clean themselves up when our school have confirmed that would not be the case!
All waiting for September when it will be magically "back to normal " by then.

Legallybleachblonde · 27/05/2020 19:26

My DS5 is going back on Monday. Any decision I make regarding him I base on my gut feeling of the situation. At his infant school, only Reception are going back (not Year 1) and the kids are being put into 'bubbles' of no more than 15, with each bubble having their own drop off and pick up times. The communications from the school have been excellent throughout and based on this and the science, I am happy for him to go back on Monday.

Pippapotomus · 27/05/2020 19:33

I didn't dare put on the class WhatsApp that I'm sending mine in on Monday. I don't have a thick skin unfortunately.

One twit, who has form for being a dick, said 'it's everyone's personal choice about going or not, but [she] actually likes spending time with her DC.'

It's absolutely the right choice for us. We all had the virus here, and DS had a positive antibody test. So the chances are he is fine for at least a few months. He would also massively struggle when he does go back if he is off any longer.

Alex50 · 27/05/2020 19:40

Lucky you, I wish I had a positive antibodies test

BringPizza · 27/05/2020 19:49

One twit, who has form for being a dick, said 'it's everyone's personal choice about going or not, but [she] actually likes spending time with her DC.' good for her.

Ours isn't reopening but I would send mine if it was.

NiknicK · 27/05/2020 19:54

No, I’ve actually had the opposite and had my parents judge me for not sending my ds back to school. He goes to a specialist school so is able to go back next week but he was struggling so much before coronavirus and the school isn’t the right setting for him. I’m WFH so there’s no need for him to go back until September yet my parents think they know best. I’ve also had a few questions and judgements from a couple of so called friends who have chosen to send their kids back. I haven’t judged them what so ever and haven’t said anything negative or implied otherwise yet they can’t seem to understand why I won’t be sending my ds back. So it goes both ways.

StayAlert · 27/05/2020 19:56

Have blocked a few 'friends' on Facebook cos of their passive- aggressive and snide comments (and POEMS 🙄 🤦🏻‍♀️) about how it's wrong to send kids back to school.

TBF those blocked have been vile throughout the whole Covid-19 situation so it's time to 👋 goodbye!