Anyone TTC after a recent early loss and wanting support? (Aug 26)

[Springcloud26]

Hi, I thought I’d start a separate thread for anyone who is TTC after a recent early loss, so we can support each other through what can be a really difficult time. 💕

I’m 39 and TTC for my first. I conceived after around four cycles, but sadly had a missed miscarriage mid-July at around 9 weeks, (development had stopped at 6).

I stopped bleeding last Sunday and have started noticing some cervical mucus returning over the past few days, so I’m hoping my body is beginning to get back into its normal rhythm.

I’m still testing positive on pregnancy tests, so can’t use LH strips to track ovulation yet, so for now, my plan is to get back to some exercise, eating well and have sex every 2-3 days. I’m feeling positive and hopeful but also trying to take my mind off the waiting!

If anyone else is going through something similar and would like to share the journey and support each other x

I’ve given my tests to my husband and he’s hidden them in his van 😂 going to try hold off for 11dpo on Tuesday 🤞

@Springcloud26 fingers crossed its AF on the way and the wait is over.

@Happymama04 - hiding tests is a great idea. I’m only 1DPO and have already decided I’m going to test at 9DPO 😂I’m giving myself the excuse that I have a PT session that day and want to modify some stuff if needed. Keeping my fingers crossed that it’s a positive cycle for you

If I was drinking something when I read that I would have spat it out, this is hilarious!! Great idea though xxx

im in the TWW too and have sore boobs but its waaay too early to be pregnancy related. Trying SO hard not to symptom spot but it’s on my mind nearly all of the time!

Great idea! 😂 Do you have any nice weekend plans as a distraction?

Thank you! That’s a good enough excuse to test 😊 hope the TWW goes quickly for you!

Fingers crossed you get your surge soon. Do you know when you usually ovulate?

Tbh no! It’s only cycle 2 since trying again, so I’m really feeling abit clueless lol. Last cycle I ovulated quite early, about cycle day 12/13 but I guess maybe the chemical has delayed things? No idea! I’ve been getting other fertile signs though so I hope it occurs soon🤞 will test abit later today.

how are you getting on, did your AF come in full force yet?

I still haven’t come on properly, a bit more this morning when wiping but not much! I’ve booked another hcg blood test on Tuesday as I want to make sure it definitely goes below 5.

We have a wedding tomorrow so defo a good distraction! Although the part of my brain that wants to test is like ‘I need to test even though it’s only 8dpo in case I shouldn’t have a drink’ 🙈😂

Enjoy the wedding! I’ve definitely been there with wanting to test to know if I can have a drink or not! 😂

Thanks! I would have caved this morning but my husband wouldn’t give me the tests 😂 and now I’m glad he didn’t!

Hello! Sadly joining this club. I’m 35, have a 4-year-old DD, and found out I had a MMC on Thursday at what should have been our 8-week scan. Baby stopped growing at 6 weeks.
Yesterday I embarked on the medical management route, so today has been the main event. Everything is still so fresh, so I’m feeling all the emotions at the moment.
But I’m also feeling hopeful that we’ll get our rainbow 🌈 soon. This sad little journey has only just started for me, but I’m glad to know I’m not alone. I’m so sorry for everyone else’s losses too. Miscarriage is horrible, and MMC can be such a lonely, dark place.
Sending love to everyone here. ❤️

I’m so sorry @TinyBitChaotic, what you’re going through is incredibly difficult, and whatever you’re feeling is completely okay. It’s such an awful experience.

Please be gentle with yourself and take it one moment at a time.

Sending love, and here if you want to talk, you are not alone x

I decided to count yesterday as CD1 as more light bleeding when wiping this morning, so this is definitely more than spotting and likely a very light period.

I have ordered digital clearblue ovulation tests and have LH strips ready to start tracking.

I’m feeling hopeful for this cycle, and @Witchfoot I know what you mean now about the first period feeling like a reset, clearing out whatever was built up!

@TinyBitChaotic hope are doing okay, I’ve been thinking about you ❤️

I’m so sorry @TinyBitChaotic , it’s all so raw isn’t it and the only thing that’s helped/helping me is time. I hope you have support as you go through this next bit and hopefully you find some comfort from being with your 4 year old ❤️

I also had a MMC in early August, I found it all so incredibly cruel and unfair. Thinking of you xx

Good morning, and thank you both @Springcloud26 and @Changechangechange1 for your kind words, I really appreciate it!
It is all incredibly fresh for me. It’s been a rollercoaster of a 72 hours… from being worried sick about how that scan would go, to hearing the worst news imaginable, feeling completely devastated, then going into total logistical mode and trying to figure out the next steps, to now being on day 2 of the medical management.
I think I passed the pregnancy yesterday. I had no pain or cramps, and today it’s more like a light-to-medium period for me.
My 4-year-old is keeping me busy, and I’m actually grateful for having such a demanding little person bossing me around, because I fear otherwise I’d just curl up in bed. 😂
So yeah, my emotions are all over the place. I’m relieved to know what’s going on. I’m sad. I’m hopeful for what’s to come. I’m scared. I’m all of the things.
My biggest thing right now is getting that negative test in 2–3 weeks. I think I’ll see where my head is then.
Right now, I’m thinking I do want to try again, and I don’t really want to wait around. But very low pressure - no OPKs, no BBT, just seeing what happens. If it doesn’t happen, then I’ll consider using OPKs in future cycles.
It might come across as cold or detached that I’m already thinking ahead, but I find that having things to solve or work towards that are at least somewhat within my control helps me feel better. I think that’s just how I process things.
Right now I’m just taking it day by day. ❤️

I completely understand, it’s perfectly normal to feel all those things you are feeling and I’m glad you have the support, and your 4-year old keeping you busy.

I felt the same when I was going through
mine, I was quite numb and detached through the physical process, I was just focused on checking whether I had passed everything and the steps I needed to take, next appointment etc. I also focused on looking forward to trying again, as a way of coping and having some control. There is so much you have no control of and it is so unfair x

Welcome @TinyBitChaotic and so sorry to hear about what you’re going through. I had medical management for MMC in July and had quite a big hormone crash around four days later - I’m sure everyone’s different but look after yourself as it’s an emotional rollercoaster for a while (and still is for me). Glad that your 4yo is keeping you busy and providing a nice distraction though. And don’t feel bad about thinking about trying again, that definitely helped me through the initial phase of processing what had happened

Hope that having CD1 is bringing you some comfort @Springcloud26 - I found it felt like a reset too and am definitely more positive now that it feels like more of a typical cycle than trying to use OPKs when you have no idea what’s going on. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Are you still managing not to test @Happymama04? Hope you enjoyed the wedding!

Think I’m 4DPO and in that weird phase where it’s too early to symptom spot or think about testing so I’m just trying not to think about it. Not feeling super hopeful this month though as I ovulated two days after AF stopped which is much earlier than usual for me so our timing wasn’t great.

How are you getting on @FlyingHighFlyingLow? Pregnancy after loss is also really challenging emotionally, so hope you’re doing ok x

Thank you @Pottingsheddays yes it’s reassuring that my body is finally getting back to normal, I wasn’t expecting it to take so long.

That’s interesting about how quickly you ovulated. How did you catch it? Do you think it may help if I started the CB tests now to build the baseline, in case my cycle behaves in a similar way?

I caught it on the CB tests and had started them slightly earlier than usual, on CD8 or 9 when I usually ovulate around Cd17. I’d recommend starting a bit earlier than usual even if you’re still bleeding as AF was eleven days long for me which isn’t typical. So still all slightly confusing!

Is it OK if I join even if technically September?

I just had my first ever pregnancy, which has finished in almost exactly 1 week and am trying to make sense of it even though obviously that's not possible. Was a very strong positive (for CD9/10) and I had what seemed like quite obvious pregnancy feelings until they and the lines faded to nothing by this weekend.

I am shocked at how sad I feel about it. I had always assumed I'd be very brisk given how early it was, but nope. Am very sorry about everyone who is going through it. Honestly can't imagine how awful it'd be to have the same thing happen further along.

I've started bleeding brightish red, after brown spotting yesterday (along with a negative test) - should I take this as CD1? I know it'll be different for everyone but maybe I will ovulate as usual on CD12 or so?

I'm also trying not to panic about this becoming a recurring pattern and I know I'm going to be anxious if there's a next time... this was just my second cycle of being without my IUD, and I was so happy and relieved to get pregnant (am over 35). Now that optimism is gone and I am researching all the ways in which there might be something wrong with me that means I'll never be able to have a baby. Can anyone relate/please tell me I'm being an idiot?

Welcome @tabbycatslave of
course you can join! The date was really to help people know it was a recent thread, I kept coming across old ones that were no longer active, when I was looking for support 😊

I’m very sorry you are going through a loss, and it’s okay to feel sad even though it was early.

I think taking your first day of proper flow as CD1 is right, rather than the spotting. Do you track ovulation?

I also understand your feelings of being anxious if you conceive again, my MMC was my first too at 39 and I know I will worry. I think we can only take it one day at a time and know that many who have early losses go on to have healthy babies.

Be kind to yourself, sending a big hug ❤️

Welcome @tabbycatslaveand @TinyBitChaotic. So sorry that you have have had to join us 😞 sending you both lots of love 💜

I caved at 9dpo today, BFN but trying to stay hopeful it’s too early 🤞 my temp is still up but I don’t think that means much at this point!