34 and ttc

[Dbd310]

Hi all,

Thought I set up a new thread for those of us who are 34 and ttc. I'm just starting my third cycle of ttc first baby. It's much harder to live this than I expected. Lots of my friends have struggled with fertility and so I didnt expect it to happen quickly, but living it is so different to the theory, isn't it?

Anyway, I know 3 months isn't a long time to be trying and is considered normal, but I guess I just worry about my age.

And being 34 doesn't seem that far away from 35 but I dont feel right posting in the 35+ ttc groups.

So if anyone is 34 and ttc hopefully we can have a little space here to talk / vent / stay sane!

C

BTW I know some people try for years and years so I know I don't really gave anything to complain about... but I'm also worried we will be trying for that long and tbh I dont think I could do that to myself!

@teaandchocolate1

Just to give people some hope. I'm 34 and currently almost 35 weeks pregnant.

I fell pregnant on cycle 2, then had an early miscarriage and conceived again on cycle 6.

Will turn 35 in February xx

Ah that's so lovely. I think I've got pcos or too many androgens, but have only just realised.

So annoying as I've been on at my gp for 6 years about my symptoms and only now have I been referred to a specialist

Thanks :)
Not at all this time.
I did try to conceive a few years ago, and I just didn't get pregnant even after 2 years of trying but this time round first month bfp so not an age thing I guess.

@Lndnew

Can I join as well? I'm also 34 and TTC #1. I'm only on cycle #2 but already worrying that it's going to be a long journey!

Hiya! Yeah me too. We can worry together!

@Dbd310

Heya yes of course! It's nice to meet people in a similar situation. Have you been trying very long?

Thanks! I came off the pill at the end of December and had a withdrawal bleed shortly after. I guess this is my first cycle trying but I don't know how long it will take for my body to start ovulating again so kinda just waiting to see what happens at the moment. Not using any protection though so secretly hoping that it miraculously happens before my first natural period ever comes haha!

Mentally prepared myself for it to take a long time but already getting impatient!

That's not unheard of. I feel like no one ever tells you about all the waiting and how awful it is!

Also does anyone else get really easily pissed off with friends when your talking them about your concerns or feelinf sad about it all. I swear if one more person tells me to have fun relax or enjoy it I might lose it 😂

I haven't told anyone for that exact reason! I'm on here talking to all you you instead :)

Yeah. I just thought I could rely on their support as lots of them have had problems conceiving. But they were all much younger than i am so u don't think they get the time pressure on top of the uncertainty.

Can I ask why you all didn't try earlier?

For me I wasn't sure i wanted kids. I like my sleep and autonomy. Also if I was going to do it I wanted to be financially stable with a spare room and we've only just managed to get our first place. I also have a job I love and wasn't keen to give it up!

Similar reasons for us, we wanted to be settled in our own place first and sure that we would be able to comfortably afford it.

So many people are having children later these days, I don't feel like 34 is that old any more, although that doesn't stop me worrying that my age is against me!

Evening everyone! Thanks for checking in @Dbd310. How are you doing?

Congratulations @sunshinestar1986! And nice to hear that @teaandchocolate1 💗

Welcome @Lndnew and @Nyxxie! I’m on cycle #4 TTC baby 1 although sadly had an early MC in cycle #1. I’m 10dpo and AF is due on Saturday so I am trying not to test until then. I’ve been disappointed by far too many BFPs in previous cycles, testing from 9dpo so it just causes me more heartache if I test early!!

Where in your cycles are you all?

@Nyxxie

Similar reasons for us, we wanted to be settled in our own place first and sure that we would be able to comfortably afford it.

So many people are having children later these days, I don't feel like 34 is that old any more, although that doesn't stop me worrying that my age is against me!

Yes exactly the same here. Im 35 in 8 months and just don't know how that's happened 😂

I really feel like 34 isn't old but given we've been trying for 4 months going on 5 it's making me start to worry.

I'm in such a hormonal mess today. Being 5 days late and not pregnant is awful 😢

@Dbd310 - I haven’t told my friends we’re TTC except one friend who was TTC too and got a BFP last weekend (so she understood what I was going through), and one other friend who is very kind but also not prying ie. Doesn’t talk about it unless I bring it up.
All my other friends have 1 or 2 kids already!

@Dbd310 Oh and how annoying you’re 5 days late and still a BFN!!!! Are you 100% sure on your date of ovulation?
I’m 35 in 3 months and starting to worry about that cliff…

[quote i123i]@Dbd310 - I haven’t told my friends we’re TTC except one friend who was TTC too and got a BFP last weekend (so she understood what I was going through), and one other friend who is very kind but also not prying ie. Doesn’t talk about it unless I bring it up.
All my other friends have 1 or 2 kids already![/quote]
Similar situation here! Except I don't know anyone currently trying. One of my friends has been so lovely about it even though she probably won't have kids. She's the only one who's not pissed me off 😂 think ill stick to here in the future.

Are you in the tww?

@i123i

Evening everyone! Thanks for checking in *@Dbd310*. How are you doing?

Congratulations @sunshinestar1986! And nice to hear that @teaandchocolate1 💗

Welcome @Lndnew and @Nyxxie! I’m on cycle #4 TTC baby 1 although sadly had an early MC in cycle #1. I’m 10dpo and AF is due on Saturday so I am trying not to test until then. I’ve been disappointed by far too many BFPs in previous cycles, testing from 9dpo so it just causes me more heartache if I test early!!

Where in your cycles are you all?

I meant BFNs!!

[quote i123i]@Dbd310 Oh and how annoying you’re 5 days late and still a BFN!!!! Are you 100% sure on your date of ovulation?
I’m 35 in 3 months and starting to worry about that cliff…[/quote]
Thanks for the sympathy lol I feel so sorry for myself. I did have covid so perhaps that's delayed things. I use opks and ovusense and track cm. Pretty sure I ovulated 16 days ago. My lp is usually 10 or 11 days so this is especially long. Hard not to lose the plot. And I'm especially hormonal. Angry, tearful, sad etc.

So sorry to hear your loss 💔 I agree re early testing. I've promised myself I'll stop but being late this cycle threw that out of the window lol.

@i123i

Evening everyone! Thanks for checking in *@Dbd310*. How are you doing?

Congratulations @sunshinestar1986! And nice to hear that @teaandchocolate1 💗

Welcome @Lndnew and @Nyxxie! I’m on cycle #4 TTC baby 1 although sadly had an early MC in cycle #1. I’m 10dpo and AF is due on Saturday so I am trying not to test until then. I’ve been disappointed by far too many BFPs in previous cycles, testing from 9dpo so it just causes me more heartache if I test early!!

Where in your cycles are you all?

So sorry for your loss - I hope you get good news soon!

I'm only CD9 today - I'm out of control with testing and definitely need to get a grip this month!

@Dbd310 - glad you’ve got one friend you can talk to about it sympathetically. Yes I’m in the TWW. AF is due tomorrow so I’m going to try and not test until tomorrow morning (unless AF gets there first….!! 😏). Thanks for the sympathy too about the early MC.
Hmmm there’s been quite a lot of people I’ve read about who’s cycles have changed a bit due to Covid so that might explain it. But also if you’re clued up with OPKs, OvuSense and CM (same here, plus natural cycles!) then you should be right. I really hope you get an answer soon. Sorry you’re hormonal.

Any nice weekend plans to try and distract yourself? I’ve booked myself an upper body massage and facial as a treat tomorrow afternoon - so if AF comes at least I have something to look forward to!!!!

@Lndnew - thanks for the kind words. Yes, not giving in to testing early is sooooo hard, especially when you see people here getting BFPs on 8dpo or 9dpo. But at the same time, some don’t get their BFP until a week or more after their AF is due, so everyone is different! My latest tactic is to think about how seeing a BFN (having seen a lot of them by now), would make me feel so that’s enough to put me off early testing (for now!!). Plus I have zero symptoms.

[quote i123i]@Dbd310 - glad you’ve got one friend you can talk to about it sympathetically. Yes I’m in the TWW. AF is due tomorrow so I’m going to try and not test until tomorrow morning (unless AF gets there first….!! 😏). Thanks for the sympathy too about the early MC.
Hmmm there’s been quite a lot of people I’ve read about who’s cycles have changed a bit due to Covid so that might explain it. But also if you’re clued up with OPKs, OvuSense and CM (same here, plus natural cycles!) then you should be right. I really hope you get an answer soon. Sorry you’re hormonal.

Any nice weekend plans to try and distract yourself? I’ve booked myself an upper body massage and facial as a treat tomorrow afternoon - so if AF comes at least I have something to look forward to!!!!

@Lndnew - thanks for the kind words. Yes, not giving in to testing early is sooooo hard, especially when you see people here getting BFPs on 8dpo or 9dpo. But at the same time, some don’t get their BFP until a week or more after their AF is due, so everyone is different! My latest tactic is to think about how seeing a BFN (having seen a lot of them by now), would make me feel so that’s enough to put me off early testing (for now!!). Plus I have zero symptoms.[/quote]
I agree. I'm promising myself I won't test early in the future. I didn't test early this month so that's some good progress I think!

Af came this morning. So horrible being late but at least she's here now. I'll have my fingers crossed for you tomorrow. It sounds like you are very good at looking after yourself go you! I need to take a leaf out of your book!

How's everyone doing?

Just wanted to say I'm nearly 34 and after two miscarriages I'm now coming up to 36 weeks pregnant. It will happen for you op

Morning@Dbd310, can I join please?
I'm 34 and on cycle 14 😕
Trying for my first baby, my DP has 3 children from his previous marriage. This is the first month I've stopped tracking anything and tried to bring some normality back. I've got an appt for bloods tomorrow so it's helped me relax a little this month

@Dbd310

How's everyone doing?

5dpo today and trying not to symptom spot....definitely don't feel any different so far. Going to try and hold off testing until Monday but I'm sure I'll cave before then.

How's everyone else doing?

Hi everyone! I was on this thread when it started, and feel your frustration and hope ❤️. I am now 5w+2 with what will hopefully be our rainbow baby 🌟 🙏🏻 🌈

I was holding out on testing until the day AF was due, but caved and tested the night before AF was due and got a BFN (but my urine was super diluted and clear from drinking lots during the day) which I regret as I just felt really down and disappointed after that.

BUT I tested again the next morning as AF hadn’t come, just with a cheapie strip and got a BFP and confirmed it immediately after with a digital test (and about 8 tests since then… 😂).

It’s still super super early days so I’m quite anxious and not taking anything for granted. I have zero symptoms other than the occasional abdominal and lower back twinge, whereas other ladies on here seem to have aaaalllll the symptoms already.

In the TWW I didn’t really have any symptoms either - maybe a bit of abdominal cramp but that’s about it.

Wishing you all lots of strength and luck. It’s such a rollercoaster journey!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Hey all- am I OK to join here? I'm technically 33 but that's basically 34 right!

We've been 2 years TTC this month so I was 31 when we started, thought that was plenty young enough but who knew I'd still be here now.

But seriously like some others have said, although I totally feel the ticking clock like the rest of you, 33/34 shouldn't be too much of an issue really in 2022! And so nice to hear a few success stories too 😊