34 and ttc

[Dbd310]

Hi all,

Thought I set up a new thread for those of us who are 34 and ttc. I'm just starting my third cycle of ttc first baby. It's much harder to live this than I expected. Lots of my friends have struggled with fertility and so I didnt expect it to happen quickly, but living it is so different to the theory, isn't it?

Anyway, I know 3 months isn't a long time to be trying and is considered normal, but I guess I just worry about my age.

And being 34 doesn't seem that far away from 35 but I dont feel right posting in the 35+ ttc groups.

So if anyone is 34 and ttc hopefully we can have a little space here to talk / vent / stay sane!

C

BTW I know some people try for years and years so I know I don't really gave anything to complain about... but I'm also worried we will be trying for that long and tbh I dont think I could do that to myself!

@i123i

Hi everyone! I was on this thread when it started, and feel your frustration and hope ❤️. I am now 5w+2 with what will hopefully be our rainbow baby 🌟 🙏🏻 🌈

I was holding out on testing until the day AF was due, but caved and tested the night before AF was due and got a BFN (but my urine was super diluted and clear from drinking lots during the day) which I regret as I just felt really down and disappointed after that.

BUT I tested again the next morning as AF hadn’t come, just with a cheapie strip and got a BFP and confirmed it immediately after with a digital test (and about 8 tests since then… 😂).

It’s still super super early days so I’m quite anxious and not taking anything for granted. I have zero symptoms other than the occasional abdominal and lower back twinge, whereas other ladies on here seem to have aaaalllll the symptoms already.

In the TWW I didn’t really have any symptoms either - maybe a bit of abdominal cramp but that’s about it.

Wishing you all lots of strength and luck. It’s such a rollercoaster journey!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

That's such lovely news! Congratulations! I understand your cauioutness though! I hope you have a sticky bean! Xxxx

@FantasticJurassic

Hey all- am I OK to join here? I'm technically 33 but that's basically 34 right!

We've been 2 years TTC this month so I was 31 when we started, thought that was plenty young enough but who knew I'd still be here now.

But seriously like some others have said, although I totally feel the ticking clock like the rest of you, 33/34 shouldn't be too much of an issue really in 2022! And so nice to hear a few success stories too 😊

Hiya, yes of course you can join. The more the merrier! I'm sorry you've been trying for so long. I'd have thought 31 was plenty young enough too 🤷 I know of people in their 20s who had difficulty so it seems like such a roulette / lucky dip.

Are you getting any fertility care?

I've only been trying for 5 months but it feels like an eternity already. Last month I was ready to give up. But I've collected my toys from outside of my pram and put them all back in! Trying to distract myself with work and other life goals!

We've been trying to get something in the way of care/treatment but it hasn't been easy! But finally got our referral appointment through literally today 🙌

First we just want to find out what we can... we've both done all sorts of tests and had little to no info back from our gp! But actually believe the issue to be on my partners side so unrelated to my age it turns out... as you say, quite a lottery.

I know what you mean it's strange- every month feels like forever but then suddenly here we are and it's been 2 years! But fingers crossed for you that you have much more luck 🍀 Are you trying for your first too?

Hi all can I join please.
34 TTC #1 since Dec 20. Had 3 miscarriages in the last 12 months, two between 9-10 weeks and one chemical. Not including the 3 'successful' cycles this is cycle number 10. I'm feeling old...

@FantasticJurassic

We've been trying to get something in the way of care/treatment but it hasn't been easy! But finally got our referral appointment through literally today 🙌

First we just want to find out what we can... we've both done all sorts of tests and had little to no info back from our gp! But actually believe the issue to be on my partners side so unrelated to my age it turns out... as you say, quite a lottery.

I know what you mean it's strange- every month feels like forever but then suddenly here we are and it's been 2 years! But fingers crossed for you that you have much more luck 🍀 Are you trying for your first too?

That's great news you've got your appointment letter through 🥳. Most of my friends have had ivf (I've clearly an unlucky group of friends) and they've all got kids now. Let us know how you get on?

Yes this would be our first too. I was 5 days late last month and it was cruel. Hopefully that will be nt occur again.

@PeanuttyButter

Hi all can I join please. 34 TTC #1 since Dec 20. Had 3 miscarriages in the last 12 months, two between 9-10 weeks and one chemical. Not including the 3 'successful' cycles this is cycle number 10. I'm feeling old...

Hiya, yes of course you can join. I'm so sorry to hear about your losses.

Are you trying for your first?

@Dbd310 yea trying for our first.

Hello, I would like to join please! I am also 34 and know what you mean about not joining the 35+ threads yet. My husband is 36 (almost 37) and we are TTC #1, just starting cycle 3. This is likely to be our one and only, so I am not so worried about siblings and age gaps, but I am aware of difficulties as we get older. I had naively hoped for it to happen quickly, but having friends who have gone through IVF, I am aware it is not always like that! Nice to have people to talk to in a similar position. Any hints and tips much appreciated! We are taking conception vitamins, I have given up alcohol and am trying to stay away from processed foods.

@Dbd310

Hi all,

Thought I set up a new thread for those of us who are 34 and ttc. I'm just starting my third cycle of ttc first baby. It's much harder to live this than I expected. Lots of my friends have struggled with fertility and so I didnt expect it to happen quickly, but living it is so different to the theory, isn't it?

Anyway, I know 3 months isn't a long time to be trying and is considered normal, but I guess I just worry about my age.

And being 34 doesn't seem that far away from 35 but I dont feel right posting in the 35+ ttc groups.

So if anyone is 34 and ttc hopefully we can have a little space here to talk / vent / stay sane!

C

BTW I know some people try for years and years so I know I don't really gave anything to complain about... but I'm also worried we will be trying for that long and tbh I dont think I could do that to myself!

Hi, I'm also 34 (almost 35) and have been trying to conceive our first for 2.5 years. Sadly had four miscarriages and have literally just found out I am pregnant again yesterday so naturally scared. It's definitely harder than some people make it look. I learnt from a fertility specialist that almost all miscarriages are down to deteriorated eggs too so that doesn't fill me with confidence 🙁

Thats great re your friends. I don't actually know if we'd like to do ivf- I gather the whole process can be quite stressful. And my partner is already very much "whatever happens happens" about the whole thing. But we will see and yes I'll let you know.

Ooh 5 days late is rubbish, so frustrating when you're waiting. Dunno about yours but my hubby is always completely oblivious bless him, and just doesn't get why I'm so on edge!

So sorry to hear about your losses. But congrats on your latest news, although can understand why you might be nervous at this stage! I know so many people who have gone on from miscarriages to have healthy babies though so fingers crossed for you 😊

Hi Monkey news! I'm so sorry to hear about your losses. 2.5 years is such a long time. 5 months feels like an eternity to me.

I guess congratulations on the pregnancy? But can understand why you're feeling nervous. I'll have my fingers crossed for you. Feels free to post here whenever you want to!

@FantasticJurassic

Thats great re your friends. I don't actually know if we'd like to do ivf- I gather the whole process can be quite stressful. And my partner is already very much "whatever happens happens" about the whole thing. But we will see and yes I'll let you know.

Ooh 5 days late is rubbish, so frustrating when you're waiting. Dunno about yours but my hubby is always completely oblivious bless him, and just doesn't get why I'm so on edge!

Yeah! Neither does mine unless I make it very clear 🙄😂

I'm with you on the ivf thing. At the moment I'm not sure I'd want to go through it all. But we will see!

How is everyone?

I'm due on on Wednesday. I think I actually ovulated on CD 14 this month instead of cd16/17. The tablets I'm taking to lengthen my lp must be working. It's usually 11 days and today is the 12th day.

I'm getting the itch to test, but I won't. Its not good for me.

Also, does anyone get sick of people telling them to relax? Honestly I've barely thought about ttc the last few months. It's not consuming my thoughts as I've got lots of other things going on. But people still seem to think it is consuming my thoughts, but even if it was... I don't really think it's going to make that much difference to conception.

Hello, can I join too please?

34, been TTC since Jan 2021, missed miscarriage and mva in December at 9 weeks, and now on CD23 (I think) for my first proper cycle since the miscarriage.

The journey isn't quite as straightforward as I thought it would be!

If possible I would like to get involved 😃

I am 36, been trying well over 10years (can't get nhs investigation/help due to high bmi), I have PCOS and underactive thyroid. I take a hugeeeee list of medication/supplements, which luckily has regulated my cycles (used to be anywhere between 45-110days and they are now 30-40days 🎉)

I did manage to fall pregnant may 2019, but sadly ended in a loss at 7ish weeks. Past 2 cycles had vvvvfl but then af showed up. (Just to confirm I have no children)

So yeah it's been a long road, I don't know if it will ever be possible. I have been going through counselling to help deal with the loss, infertility and accepting I might never be a mum (sucks!)

I am currently 2/3dpo and strangely I feel so optimistic. 2nd cycle using pre-seed as well.

Hi field view and bean chopper!

Yes of course you can join.

Ttc is definitely a really hard journey. I'm sorry to hear about your losses.

We are heading in to month 6 now. That seems like a long time, so hats off to you for trying for longer than that.

I've had counselling before and it's one of the best things I ever did to resolve some (not that bad in the big picture but bad for me) childhood trauma. So I'm glad you are going for counselling bean chopper, but yes it does suck.

My mum keeps telling me I 'need' to procreate 😂 or she wants to be a grandma. She doesn't know we are trying but every time she says something it's like a knife through my heart 😔

@beanchopper17 sorry to hear about your journey.

@Dbd310 I do tally understand the family pressure! I'm TTC no. 1 and my dear mother is desperate to be a grandparent! Around the 6 month mark I managed to get bloods and hormone levels tested on the NHS and I ended snapping at dear mother one day. I was like "I'm TRYING!!!!" 😂 She doesn't really mention it now...

@Dbd310 that pressure is so hard to deal with. I have learnt over the years the more you hold your tongue the more people say stuff the deeper it hurts.

Be honest, ask her to stop. Guilt plays a part in ttc, guilt to your partner you haven't given them a child, guilt to parents for not giving them a grand baby. We all want that surprise we're pregnant moment but maybe just ask her to calm down with the comments as they actually upset you.

I don't bite my tongue no more (maybe I should learn to a little 😂) all my partners friends have children and every event we all get together, the questions of when are you going to have one, when I am going to make Tom a dad?!? I just look them square in the eye and bluntly tell them I am infertile.

The comments you get when you get to a certain age used to drive me mad. Luckily I have a supportive partner who encourages me to be honest and holds my hand when the emotions get too much.

Yeah. I've been thinking about telling her but other half isn't keen! My friends know and they help (most of the time 😂😉).

Have any of you tried acupuncture?

I'm thinking of trying it 💷💷💷

Also found a clinic who will test us both for £350. Have any of you had tests done? Did you find them helpful?

Hi all

How is everyone?

I can't believe I'm writing this but I'm pregnant! Honestly can't believe it. It feels very surreal and odd because you find out this big information and then go get on with your life, cook dinner etc!

I'm really hoping it sticks around and we are both healthy throughout.

@Dbd310 congratulations! That's great news.

I didn't know whether to share it or not on here but I am also pregnant. I completely know what you mean, it's a very strange feeling. I am 6 weeks tomorrow but still haven't got my heard around it really. Just feeling tired and nauseous!

Hope you're doing OK.

[quote CornishSeaSwim]@Dbd310 congratulations! That's great news.

I didn't know whether to share it or not on here but I am also pregnant. I completely know what you mean, it's a very strange feeling. I am 6 weeks tomorrow but still haven't got my heard around it really. Just feeling tired and nauseous!

Hope you're doing OK.[/quote]
Ahhh congratulations @cornishseaswim

Its so odd! I'm only 4 weeks 3 days or something. I've got a gp appointment next week. I'm really hoping it sticks! This is my first pregnancy and the women in my family haven't had any miscarriages so I'm hoping that's promising.

I'm similar to you. Very tired and a bit light headed! Is this your first?

Congratulations @Dbd310 thats heartening news. You can stop worrying now!
I have just found this thread and wanted to add my experience (and have some likeminded people to talk to).
Just turned 35 on Monday - hope I can still join in. TTC since Jan 2022 so only 3 cycles and nothing yet. I have wasted all my tests as well this month as I had had some early-pregnancy symptoms. Very tender boobs and visible montgomery tubercules (a new term I found by googling 'lumpy nipples early pregnancy sign'), but yesterday AF arrived.
Very strange my last two periods have been really short and heavy, 2-3 days which is not normal for me after being on the copper coil for 3+ years my periods were quite long. But I think far too heavy for it to be implantation bleeding.
I really hope I haven't waited too late to start trying, spent so much of my life trying *not to get pregnant and now when you start it feels like an impossible task. And there is so much information out there I feel like I know too much!
At least OP's good news can give us all some hope.

Would love to join ladies, technically only 33 but its so nice to be surrounded by women of a similar age

TTC baby no.2, I have been on the pill for the last year and finishing off my last packet then we'll be officially trying.

I had forgotten how daunting all of this was! My son took 6 months to conceive and I did struggle dealing with the disappointment every month, I can't imagine how it must feel to have been trying for a long period of time..

Hope everyones well and we can all celebrate some BFPs soon!

xx