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Conception

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Original poster

Pregnant after miscarriage

91 replies

unicornpower · 11/01/2021 15:05

Hi all!

I had a miscarriage in June 2020, it was early and I passed it fully at about 5 weeks, ive just found out im pregnant again which is obviously amazing but honestly im terrified, I feel so anxious that the same thing will happen again and I just need a handhold really. I know there's every chance it will be fine this time but im just so worried that I'll miscarry again and have to dust myself off and keep going 😑 any tips to stay relaxed? We are going to have a private scan all being well if things look okay in a few weeks but just until then I need to stay sane 💙

OP posts:

Daffodil21 · 12/02/2021 22:23

@AdriannaP I'm 14 weeks. I had my dating scan last week which I thought would be 12+4 but they dated me at 13 weeks.

Sometimes the only that can reassure is a scan! I was beginning to sort of start enjoying it, but I haven't needed to pee as much for the last two nights, so I'm worrying I'm losing one of the few symptoms I had. It did actually cross my mind to book a scan sooner than I next one (in a week), but I am going to resist

Kona84 · 12/02/2021 22:49

@firsttimemummy321 how did your partner take it now knowing until 6 weeks?
I found out last Saturday that I’m pregnant after my miscarriage in Jan 2020, I started bleeding at 8 weeks but preg dated 6 weeks.

I have thought about not telling my partner For another 3 weeks -I’m 4+3 at moment but I’m already starting to feel guilty about it

Original poster

unicornpower · 22/02/2021 13:53

Hey lovely ladies, me again riddled with anxiety, we had a scan at 8w2d at the EPU due to my hyperemisis which showed a lovely little bean with a HB. That was two weeks ago and our 12w scan is on the 12th March, I am driving myself crazy thinking that there will be no heartbeat and I will have had a MMC, has anyone got any tips to help me? I keep reading statistics that say seeing how a HB at 8 weeks is a good sign but im just working myself up something silly. My sickness is alot better although still there and I have sore boibs and i am exhausted all the time but I just can't talk myself out of the funk I'm in! I'm 10 weeks today and have lower backache but apparently this is common with my tilted uterus so trying not to worry too much but equally am ticking off the days until my scan!

I dont really want to book another private scan as the one we had at EPU was so lovely and a real positive experience (not that window to the womb wasnt) I just would rather have the NHS do it wish I could just pay EPU lol

OP posts:

Daffodil21 · 22/02/2021 14:04

Hey @unicornpower sorry to hear you're riddled with anxiety - I am too so you're in good company I guess?!

Could you book a private scan elsewhere? Literally the only thing that gets me through the weeks is regular scans. I guess it depends on the actual person who does it, as you may not get the same person every time with the NHS scans or the private ones. All 3 my private ones have been with the same person, and he is lovely. All 3 of my NHS scans have been with someone different. All of them were lovely during the scans themselves, one was a bit snappy with me when I asked if I could have another scan before 20 weeks (it was a resounding no!) so I personally wouldn't let the fact you had a really good NHS one put you off having a private one in between if that's what will put your mind at rest?

Original poster

unicornpower · 26/02/2021 11:40

@Daffodil21 I booked a scan for this afternoon as I just can't cope with the anxiety, I've felt much better for a few days so I need to know that baby is okay, I cant enjoy my symptom free days not knowing what's going on- I keep flitting between feeling positive and being certain I've lost the baby. Sods law I feel nauseous now but thats most likely nerves I think. Hope you're okay hun x

OP posts:

Daffodil21 · 26/02/2021 11:52

@unicornpower glad to hear you've booked a scan - what time is it?

I also booked a scan for last night as I just couldn't deal with the anxiety either. I had some pains which I wasn't sure were stretching or cramps so I had to check everything was ok, and thankfully it was.

I honestly hardly have any symptoms at all, and I'm pretty sure the frequent peeing, particularly at night was to do with the prednisolone I was, and not so much pregnancy. I've been tapering off it the last couple of weeks and I haven't had to get up so often (I was worried this was a loss of symptom too, so I booked a scan for the Monday before last because I was worrying about it so much). I've had 7 scans so far 🙈 I just can't help it, it's the only thing that keeps me going and gives me any joy!

Original poster

unicornpower · 26/02/2021 12:19

@Daffodil21 it's at 2.15 but they were running late last time so I really hope they arent this time. How did your scan go? The anxiety is another level isn't it, i can feel some twinges etc that I'm hoping is just baby growing but I need to know else it will eat me up for the next two weeks. Hubby gets it but is also really confident in this pregnancy and is struggling to understand I think.

I hope you're okay! Its all just so uncertain and scary x

OP posts:

Daffodil21 · 26/02/2021 12:30

@unicornpower it really is horrible isn't it. I'm going to ask my community midwife if she'll regularly check the heartbeat with the Doppler. She's only a 15 min walk away whereas the scan place is over an hour's drive. If she doesn't then I'll just keep booking scans until I hopefully feel movement, but hoping she'll agree to it.

My husband books the scans whenever I want one, but a few things he's said makes me realise he thinks this is going to be ok. I wish I was that sure!

I hope they don't keep you waiting too long - keep us posted x

Original poster

unicornpower · 26/02/2021 15:54

@Daffodil21 scan went perfectly, baby was wriggling and waving its little arms so I feel so much more settled now and like I can relax (at least for 24hrs!) And just enjoy my symptom free moments for now! Baby has grown loads so I feel happy with that.

I'm sure she'll agree to it, I can't see why she wouldn't if it'll help your anxiety? It's a lot to ask people wait between scans when they gave experienced loss and can't control the anxiety. 2 scans on the NHS just isn't enough lol

OP posts:

Daffodil21 · 26/02/2021 18:20

@unicornpower amazing news!!! Absolutely thrilled for you!!

I really hope so. She knows of my losses and has been lovely about it. At my booking app when it got to the mental health bit I just basically said fine to everything, and she said she thinks I should put anxiety due to previous losses down, and said it in a way like 'how could you not be' which I thought was nice.

I know what you mean about 24 hours! A good scan literally gives me 3 days and then it's back to panic mode!! I definitely have some imposter syndrome going on which I hope doesn't last 🙈

Busybee93 · 27/03/2021 11:20

Hi @Daffodil21 @unicornpower how are you both getting on? I stepped away from MN for a while because the anxiety was a lot but had a good 12 week scan and am now 13+5!
I have to say anxiety is back though... how do you stay sane and measured between 12 and 20 week scans?! The worry is unreal!

Daffodil21 · 27/03/2021 11:37

@Busybee93 I didn't - I had 3 private scans and a Doppler check with the midwife between 12 and 20 weeks! I had my 20 week scan on Thursday and thankfully all was well. We've now done a SM announcement - I wasn't too worried about it but I know my husband has been wanting to for ages, but I wouldn't let him before 20 weeks. We've also bought some furniture off marketplace and some baby clothes but it still doesn't feel real at all. So glad your 12 week scan was ok!!

@unicornpower also wondering how you're doing?

Busybee93 · 27/03/2021 11:45

@Daffodil21 oh wonderful news!! So happy that you're able to hopefully begin enjoying this crazy journey somewhat now. Do you think you'll still want regular scans or can you feel baby moving now?

I've already had 6 scans including my two NHS ones so just worried about where I'm going to draw the line! I've booked a scan in for 16 weeks but it's going to be tough trying to wait until then.. three weeks and counting 😩

Daffodil21 · 27/03/2021 13:41

@Busybee93 no I can't feel him yet. I have anterior placenta so it delays movements. The midwife said she would expect me to start feeling things in a week or so, so fingers crossed. I've got an appointment with the midwife in a couple of weeks where she'll use the Doppler to check the heartbeat again, so that will hopefully delay when I next book a scan. But I will certainly be having some more.

If you need them for peace of mind then just have them. Make it sooner than 16 weeks if you need to

Busybee93 · 28/03/2021 10:38

@Daffodil21 I imagine there will be relief when you manage to feel him. I keep telling myself that will be the change for me..

Have booked a scan for today to take the edge off!

Daffodil21 · 28/03/2021 12:39

@Busybee93 I've booked several scans on the day, or moved later booked ones to the same day as well so you're not the only one doing late booking scans for peace of mind! Hope all goes well x

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