Pregnant after miscarriage

[unicornpower]

Hi all!

I had a miscarriage in June 2020, it was early and I passed it fully at about 5 weeks, ive just found out im pregnant again which is obviously amazing but honestly im terrified, I feel so anxious that the same thing will happen again and I just need a handhold really. I know there's every chance it will be fine this time but im just so worried that I'll miscarry again and have to dust myself off and keep going 😑 any tips to stay relaxed? We are going to have a private scan all being well if things look okay in a few weeks but just until then I need to stay sane 💙

@unicornpower that's very exciting but also scary! Let us know how you get on! I'm debating a scan at 6+2 next week as don't want it to not show a heart beat if it's too early etc. Great you have all the symptoms! I ordered the book 'pregnancy after loss' which is helping - in case you're still feeling the same way as I am!

@Daffodil21 also hello and congratulations! Such happy news that you're so far along now! Sending lots of positive vibes!

@Busybee93 I think im going to see how sunday goes and then I might buy the book, im terrified of there being nothing there and its all just more heartache (I am trying to be positive though most of the time!) I think they just ask you to be over 6 weeks which is fine so 6+2 you should be fine, ill only be 6+4 x

@unicornpower the thing that is helping me is remembering that the odds are in your favour. There is no reason why anything could go wrong and people who have one miscarriage often go on to carry healthy babies afterwards.
Sunday isn't too far - I hope all goes well! do come back and let us know how it goes

@unicornpower glad you've decided not to test anymore. Hope Sunday goes ok! Keep us posted. What time is your scan? Hope you haven't got to wait all day for it. 4th is only a week away but it feels like forever! I did almost book a private scan last night but I resisted!

@Busybee93 hello! Hope you're not feeling too anxious although I'm sure you probably are! Pregnancy after loss certainly is not fun! Unfortunately those odds don't help me, I went on to have two more MCs after my first, so actually the odds for me say I only have a 40% chance of a successful pregnancy this time 🙈 but it is rare (1%) to have recurrent, so the odds really are in your favour. The midwife booked me one at 6+3, but I cancelled it because I knew it was right on the cusp of 'wait and see how this goes' and there being a heartbeat. If you can wait another week or so I would, but understandable if not!

@Daffodil21 oh I am so sorry, that's truly awful but well done on getting this far. Every day is a triumph and a step closer.

Going to try and hold off for as long as I can. Have you had many scans up until now with this pregnancy? X

@Busybee93 yes I've had 3 😂 I had one at 7+4, which was on NYE. I had a bleed before Christmas but I really didn't want an internal scan (irrational fear) and I've seen a heartbeat while bleeding twice for the pregnancy to end soon after, so for me I just thought that a really early scan was pointless. No idea how I managed to wait it out, but somehow I did! Then the reassurance of that scan ran out pretty quickly, so I booked a private scan at 9 weeks, and then had another NHS one (pre-booked for reassurance) at 10+4. This next week is going to go so slowly! I'm on medication this time though, so I'm hoping it's doing its job and that's the reason we're as far as we are

@Daffodil21 I don't blame you, i am going to the same. Well done on holding out till 7 weeks. I'm trying to stay calm and book a scan for as late as I can. My GP is referring me to EPU next Friday for a scan as I approach week 7 so I want to hold out until rather than worry myself unduly!
How are all of your symptoms?

@Busybee93 if you can hold out that's a good plan.

Symptoms are mostly fine. I don't have any sickness at all. I'm hungry more and putting on loads of weight but that's due to the meds rather than pregnancy. Aside from tiredness and peeing lots, especially at night, I don't really have any to be honest.

How about you?

Anxiety is through the roof today so have booked myself a private scan for this evening 😩 I just can't wait another week

@Daffodil21 how did your scan go? Im sorry you're so anxious love xxx

@unicornpower it was ok!!! Everything looking as it should so should hopefully keep me going got another week until my next scan. How are you doing?

@Daffodil21 so glad it was okay! Those moments must be a huge relief. I had a bit of a meltdown last night and booked a scan for when I'll be 6 weeks. I just have no symptoms so feeling panicked!

@unicornpower totally get the feeling of being anxious, it's so overwhelming not knowing what's going on inside your own body. As pp said tho chances are vastly in your favour and increase as the days go by. It helped me to think like that when I was pregnant after mc. Not long until your scan (know it feels like ages away tho). I booked private ones at 8 and 10.5 weeks to help ease my worry.

@Busybee93 sometimes the only thing that can calm you down is a scan. I was starting to feel really panicky and felt like it had already stopped growing so I just thought I need to have a scan or I'll just feel horrible for the week until the next one. I'm sure in a couple of days the reassurance will wear off but it should help see me through at least! I'm still in shock that it was ok tbh. We could even see it's little hands and feet..!

I still don't really have symptoms either (except tired and peeing more) which is another reason why I booked, so try not to worry about that, everyone is different but it doesn't help when you keep seeing and hearing people saying they have loads!

When will you be 6 weeks? Just bear in mind that at 6 weeks you may not see a heartbeat yet

@Daffodil21 so glad your scan went well, nothing like the feeling of relief. Not long to go until next nhs one and you're pretty far into 1st trimester now.
I've had 4 mc now - 1 before dd and 3 since and have been told by my old health authority (moverd recently) that would be put on progesterone if get pregnant again. Can I ask is that what you're on? Due to start trying this month and have such a mixture of feelings about it.

@Daffodil21 I totally understand. I kind of thing the reassurance is priceless so if you can afford it then why not?

I am 100% prepared to not see a heartbeat, I've booked with a private early pregnancy clinic so that I can have proper medical advice if I need to rather than panic. I just want to know there is something there as I just feel like I'm plodding along as normal. Pleased to know I'm not the only one without symptoms. I tried to get my gp to do bloods and she told me it would just make me panic and so she's also booked me for another scan for 7 weeks.

@Jeds55 thank you. I know, I can't believe it. Obviously anything can happen still so I'm still not out of the woods, but I've had 3 MCs and a 6+3 measurement is as far as we've got before until now.

I'm sorry to hear you've had 4 MCs, it really is horrible isn't it. Yes, I am taking progesterone (cyclogest) and prednisolone. What are your feelings about progesterone? I honestly find it completely fine. I am really bloated and I've put on a lot of weight, but that's mostly to do with the pred and probably only partly to do with the progesterone, if it is at all. I read all sorts of posts on here about how unpleasant progesterone can be to take, but honestly it's totally fine. I just put a panteliner in for about 20 mins after inserting it and then all sorted.

I take the prednisolone in case my body has an autoimmune response to pregnancy, where it treats them like a foreign object and rejects them. I haven't had any tests for this so I don't know if it's actually needed, but something seems to be doing its job so far! It's not the most ideal drug to be taking in a pandemic because it suppresses your immune system so you have to isolate while you're on it. I'll be starting to wean off it in a week though (hoping my weight stabilises more when I do!!)

@Busybee93 they had an offer on at £45 as well so I really couldn't find a reason not to!! Even if it was full price it would have been totally worth it.

I can't believe your gp wouldn't do bloods! That seems pretty ridiculous to me. Mine did, and it reassured me in the early stages when it was too early to get a scan. I got my bfp 4 days before my period should have arrived, so the early weeks were even longer!! On the other hand, in my last pregnancy I had HCG bloods done, and they didn't rise by very much over 48 hours, the dr told me the pregnancy was coming to and end but sent me to EPU to check it wasn't ectopic. They found a heartbeat and said congratulations etc etc but a few days later the pregnancy did end, so obviously in that situation the HCG bloods were a good indication.

@Daffodil21 oh thats great news! Im feeling rough today, I was sick just before bed last night and have done a fair bit of dry heaving today and I just feel exhausted. Sunday isn't too far away so I'm just hoping for good news! Which company did you use?

@jeds55 agh thank you for your well wishes, I am hoping that it all is okay on Sunday for my scan and I can hopefully relax a bit. I dont think its helped ive been so poorly to be honest! Im in a mix of not wanting to get my hopes up and trying to be optimistic xxxx

@unicornpower it's understandable to be prepared for both outcomes before a scan. I never get excited about them and I can't comprehend how people do. So far I've had 4 scans and every time they tell me it's ok I'm shocked (still am tbh!).
Sorry you're feeling rough - that sounds horrible!
I used a company called Baby Scanning, but I think they only have places in Aberdeen or Glasgow, I'm not sure where you're based.

I hope the weekend doesn't drag too much for you!!

@Daffodil21 thanks for the response. I feel ok about taking the progesterone- basically anything that's going to help me avoid another mc I'm down with. I haven't googled much about it just thought I'd cross that bridge when/if I get to it. Like you say the bloating can be a symptom of early pregnancy anyway. Do you stop it at 16 weeks? The EPU didn't mention predisonole to me. It's crazy how different health trusts do things so differently. Although I'm in a different one again so who knows!
So glad things are going well for you

@Busybee93 I didn't get any symptoms with my successful pregnancy until 6.5 weeks. With my first mc I had fire boobs from pre pregnancy test. My friends have all had varying degrees of symptoms. I know it's hard but no symptoms don't mean anything is wrong or right. I'm good at telling other ladies this but the worst googler myself when pregnant! 7 week scan sounds good

@Jeds55 generally I think you stop at 16, but the consultant I spoke to said I could continue until 20 if I wanted to (although I don't think she thinks it's necessary). I've got enough until 20 weeks so if I'm still going by then I may as well keep taking it.

I had to go private for the prednisolone. I had a chat with an NHS obstetrician after and said I was on it, and he was happy to prescribe it as I'd already started it so I 'may as well keep going'. Initially I had the cyclogest and the pred privately but thankfully the NHS consultant agreed to give me a prescription for both so I didn't have to pay anymore. The pred is cheap but the progesterone is about £80-100 a month, which is nothing compared to a lot of treatments but I felt like I shouldn't have to pay for treatment after 3 MCs so I'm glad he did it for me.

@Daffodil21 thanks for info. I'll do some googling around prednisone then so am armed with info if the time comes. Good to know can go private if needs be but definitely agree shouldn't have to. I'm waiting for a referral to the recurrent mc clinic but it's taking ages due to the situation atm.