Preconception planners - still planning

[Bells3032]

Hi all. thought i'd make a new thread as the old one getting close to a thousand. Don't forget to rejoin!!

@Bells3032 oh I'm so sorry to hear that hun. Sending lots of love your way.

That must have been difficult to hear @Bells3032, very sorry it wasn't better results. But as you say, it's good you're already preparing for the IVF process and don't have a long wait for that. xx

@Bells3032 oh that is rubbish...not sure how people feel about swearing on here!
Allow yourself a day to be kind to yourself and cry etc. Tomorrow hopefully you can see the positives that you know now and are addressing it rather than having to go through a year of TTC and being disappointed. Knowledge is power!
Big hugs xx

@bubblybrit
Welcome :) that’s exciting for you for the new year :) never too late to join

@Bells3032 really hope the specialist can move his appointment forward and that your gynaecologist can also give you the best advice possible. I’ve noticed there are lots of ivf podcasts and so many wonderful success stories so I really hope this happens for you soon.

Like others have said try and be kind to yourself today :) lots of love x

Thank you @mackjm20. It took 3-4 months for my periods to settle down last time so taking a laid back approach to TTC until the new year. If nothing happens then I’ll start to use ovulation sticks etc and be a bit more proactive. My DH is still a bit nervous about bringing another child into the mix though!

@Bells3032 sorry to hear your news hun, hopefully things getting back to normal will mean you won't have to wait too long 😘

I've been catching up on all the messages and laughing away at the legs up thing! We're officially starting to dtd without protection this week so I'll bear it in mind lol. I hate the feeling of it though so I think I'll only last about 10 mins and then I'll have to run to the loo 😂 I haven't had any caffeine today after seeing the advice on here... Considering how little sleep I got last night I'm amazed I'm still awake lol. Early night for me tonight! 😴😴😴

@bubblybrit that’s sensible :) although we are “taking a laid back approach” I’m so far from laid back about it all lol! It’s all I think about 🙈. That is the plan with us though to not use any opks etc until after nov :)

@Baker0104 ah how exciting:) good luck :) omg I know that was me Friday like oh god it doesn’t feel right keeping it in there lol! Ah I’ve kicked the caffeine today too and I am tired and grumpy lol! Pass me the Pepsi max!

Is this your first @mackjm20? I was completely obsessive first time round so trying to be a little more relaxed. However I know that won’t last long. Once my periods settle back into a pattern I know I’ll be all over it again and waiving opks in my DHs face!

@mackjm20 the caffeine withdrawal is real! I'm such a coffee and coca cola addict so giving them up is gonna be tough. Just on the way to pick up the little one I nanny from school, needing little matchsticks lol. Fingers crossed for you too! Sitting on my hands over here so I don't go buying opk's etc lol

@bubblybrit yea my 1st and 1st month “ntnp” so the obsession is real haha! Omgosh yes that will be me at the end of the year is ntnp isn’t successful haha!

@Baker0104 omgosh same! I could give up coffee and tea if I could keep Pepsi max! Done with today and it’s not even 4pm haha! Omgosh I do not envy you... matchsticks at the ready :) x

@bubblybrit our DDs are about the same age! I think my DP thinks I'm a bit mad to be suggesting another, but he seems to be going with it so far..!

Feeling a bit gloomy today, not sure why. My very close friend has just given birth to her first baby this morning, which is wonderful but has turned my broody level to the absolute maximum. I'm definitely finding that actively prepping for TTC is helping to rein me in and stopping me feom getting too far ahead of myself.

Those of you who are cutting out caffeine - are you going cold turkey or just cutting down? I don't think I can cope with my toddler without any coffee at all!

@Mybobowler I’ve just totally cut it as of today but I do feel vile have such a headache from it and have got so little work done! Hoping after this week I’ll feel human again! X

@mackjm20 I've been reading how much caffeine you can have once pregnant and I think you can have a small amount so that might mean you can have Pepsi max occasionally? My problem is the 12 hour days at work, I'm just always so tired! Considering taking some iron or something to help?

@mybobowler I think it depends how much you have? If you have a lot of caffeine every day then prob best not to go cold turkey cause you could be ill. I'm gonna cut down as much as I can... That way I'm still having a bit less but not headache inducing less. For me though it'll be a massive sugar decrease as well so that'll be tough as well x

@Bells3032 really sorry to hear that, I would recommend It Starts With The Egg as it contains lots of info on how to help improve your egg quality to give you the best chance with IVF. The author had low AMH which is how did started researching and managed to drastically improve her egg quality and was successful with IVF ❤️ Hugs xx

Thanks guys for all the support. on the upside at least we know early. I've done my research and says it doesn't really have much indication on the quality of eggs and it may have been affected by my IUD so hopefully it won't be too much issue. I may just need to consider freezing some if we want more kids in the future.

I have downloaded it starts with an egg now and gonna enjoy some bedtime reading.

So I've been reading It Starts With The Egg today and am now scouring the interest for heatproof plastic free food storage and toxin free body lotion 🙄😂

It's very interesting. If you like the sciencey stuff definitely worth a read, if not you could probably get the low down from her website.

My major takeaways:-
*Although we are born with all the eggs we will ever have, they are immature and held in suspended animation until ovulation is approaching. 2-3 months before ovulation (of that specific egg), the egg goes through a maturing process. So there are a number of things you can do to help improve your egg quality as it goes through that process, which increases chances of fertilisation/implantation of a chromosomally normal embryo and decreases the chance of miscarriage.

• A lot of plastic food storage, kitchen equipment and processed/fast foods contain harmful toxins such as BPA which lower fertility.
• A lot of conventional cleaning products, make up, nail polish, perfume, beauty products etc contain phalates and other toxins which lower fertility.
• Not all supplements are created equal and don't all contain high enough levels in line with up to date research. Vitamin D is really important and CoQ10 is recommended.
• Lower refined carbs esp white bread and cereal and potatoes. Each lots of fruit and veg and fish, olive oil, adopting a Mediterranean diet helps improve fertility. *Only have minimal amounts of caffeine and alcohol when ttc.
• Diet and supplements for sperm quality are equally important.

In some ways I feel good as we have already switched out a lot of things to plastic free/natural but this will give me the push to do more I think. Might not be painting my nails or wearing make up often for a while 😂

What! I did not know this! How does plastic release toxins, this has blown my mind haha

Hubby and I have been discussing Christmas and where to go, he is wanting to have our own Christmas at home and it did cross my mind that it would be easier to explain laying off the booze on the other days and wouldn’t have to worry about Christmas Day if we were at home! I’m not expecting to be pregnant by Christmas, but we will definitely be TTC by then and I was hoping to limit alcohol as much as I can without giving the game away. My toddler will help I think as I can say I need to drive so we can get back in time for bedtime

@Baker0104 that’s like me the Pepsi max keeps me going at work!

@TheNewMrsW that sounds so interesting! Also sounds like I need to make a lot of changes lol. My fear of giving up the wine is looming I feel!

@RandyGiles06 that’s a good idea :) remind me when are you planning to start ttc? How lush would it be if you were expecting by Christmas :) x

@mackjm20. Think we all go a bit crazy when TTC regardless whether it’s your first or fourth lol 😂!

@Mybobowler. My DH reacted the same way on Sunday. We may have waited another year or so had I been 26 but I’m 36 so definitely feel the clock ticking. So far he is onboard but I can tell he is nervous!

@butterfly5291 sorry to hear that you're feeling down. Hopefully you'll start to feel better about yourself now that AF has turned up. It really does mess with your head.
I've found that SW had worked well for me even when I got close to target but I did use intermittent fasting to get to my target and I've been trying to do it again to get the extra stone off. Obviously I won't be able to do IF when I'm pregnant so I need to try and do as much as I can now.

Thanks @mackjm20. I'm absolutely buzzing from it but I did find it tough. My time was 2 hours 5 mins which was a lot better than I thought I'd do so I'm pretty happy with that. I desperately wanted to manage a half before getting pregnant so I'm good to go now 😂.
Oh god good luck with the caffeine. It's a killer.

@IAmFourEels when I managed to book an appointment because of Covid restrictions being lifted it was within a couple of weeks but if you're happy to use other methods of contraception between now and Jan then I'd definitely recommend getting it removed sooner because you never know what might happen between now and then with the world.

@bells3032 I'm so sorry to hear that. Sending virtual hugs. Like you've said at least you don't have to wait 2 years of trying to get things moving. Small silver linings.

@bubblybrit my DH was the same about bringing another baby into the mix. He loves our family dynamic and I think he's nervous how that will change. I keep trying to tell him that he'll likely get even closer to our Little girl rather than having less time with her because I'll be busy with the baby more, rather than being available straight away 24/7 for her.

@mackjm20 we are trying from December, typically my periods have lined up so I’ll ovulate towards the end of December but yeah it means I could be pregnant over Christmas and not know! I don’t want to try in November because I have an event in summer that I can be pregnant for but can’t have a small baby so want to give myself some leeway!

Hubby hasn’t really said much about the next baby, just kind of accepted it’s happening I’m glad he doesn’t ask too many questions, I just presented him with preconception vitamins last week and said it’s time to start taking them again haha.

@bubblybrit agreed it’s defo sent me a bit loopy!

@Pebbleinthesand that is amazing! Well done such a good time! :) yes not going to lie it’s rotten giving up the caffeine but think you are so right that it would be way worse
If I was pregnant lol!

@RandyGiles06 that makes total sense :) when my cycle is one day longer or shorter and it realigns my dates I get fuming! Haha! I think if nothing has happened by nov we will pause for dec as if not pregnant at Christmas I would like to enjoy it not be in a tww :) haha love that you just present your dh with the vitamins.

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Not going to lie this ‘ntnp’ is so tough! Like this week is my fertile week and I knew we would only end up DTD twice max due to commitments but I’m just sat here thinking of the missed chances. Don’t want to put pressure on dh though. also we don’t usually DTD constantly anyway as We both work such long hours... so it kind of feels forced to suddenly expect to be doing it all the time. Such a weird feeling. I’ve pretty much accepted that ntnp probably won’t be the one for us as a lot more DTD will be required but a tad concerned that when we start fully ttc will the romance just be gone- like sex is another must do job haha! I’m not saying I don’t like DTD don’t get me wrong but it’s usually spontaneous when we are both enjoying ourselves on a weekend where as in the week we are just so busy lol!

@Pebbleinthesand thank you. Past two days I've managed to stick to 1200 and slimming world. We'll see how long that lasts! I love carbs so I can eat as much pasta/rice as I want with slimming world but because I don't really eat veg so don't get my speed too I don't think it works for me. Although my consultant did say she had people who'd lost weight by only eating potatoes and pasta.
Well done on your run! That's amazing!

@mackjm20 I was worried you'd feel like this with ntnp.... you've armed yourself with so much info how can you not feel this way. I understand your worry with fitting in DTD with work etc in my fertile week last month we DTD but literally a quickie in the morning not romantic but got the job done. So once you're "trying" maybe it will be easier to DTD more...it's only a few days and can leave the romantic stuff for the rest of the month.
Tracking your cycle also makes this part easier as you'll know when to focus your efforts.

@butterfly5291 yea I’m actually now certain that ntnp just doesn’t exist when I know this much info. It’s basically just ttc but with with a lower chance as not DTD very often lol! I think I just need to accept it is ttc but just DTD when we can and it may take a little longer! Think I need to get dh on board with the quickie maybe for next month lol! Write this one off as a poor attempt at a first cycle and start again next month hha!

@mackjm20 yeah exactly...what are you doing to track again?