35+ TTC#1 Thread 4

[BambiOnIce80]

We're very close to maxing-out our previous thread, so time to start afresh 🙂

To borrow the intro from @Blondcat (our old threads founder):

A wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the ttc journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Good luck all!! 🍀🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻

@BambiOnIce80 - yeah annoying, everything takes so long! 5dpo is too early to symptom spot! I've had all sorts of aches in my womb area this tww but I think it's all actually bowel discomfort from eating so much bad food! Quality street, mince pies and mulled wine do not a happy belly make.

Thank you ladies. You are all so lovely, this thread really does keep me sane and of course Optimistic so thank you all. 💗

@BambiOnIce sorry you haven’t heard anythis so far. Lots of wishes being sent that you hear ASAP! Who knows how early it is to symptom spot, I suppose everyone feels differently in their own little ways. 🤞 and toes crossed for a BFP.

@PixieN well it sounds like you covered some important days. Keeping 🤞 for you.

@79andnotout well that was my thoughts last week, but this week I can’t stop thinking everything was as it should be finally and have I missed my chance 🤔. Sorry for the BFN abut you still never know until af shows up. Hoping your letter arrives soon too 💐.

@Carley321 - yeah I know what you mean. Hopefully everything aligns just as nicely for you next month though, and you get to give it a proper go.

I'm feeling a bit down in the dumps. I think I can feel AF cramps coming on. This will be our third month in a row of plenty of activity in FW, and our 8th month overall. I feel like if it was going to happen at all it would have happened this month as it seems like all the people I know get pregnant quickly or not at all, and the reality that we might never have kids is hitting us both. I think with it also being Christmas it's making me feel a bit down about that. How many cycles is everyone else on now? Maybe my friends are all just falling into extreme camps.

However, at the same time, I am also thinking about the additional dog we will get, holidays we will go on, and bigger house we will likely buy if I don't get pregnant. So 10% of me is still secretly pleased. Ugh, such mental conflict. Makes me feel like a fraud!

Anyway, fuck it, it's Friday night and I'm having a gin. Hope you all have lovely weekends! 🍸🍸🍸

Thanks @Carley321 and @BambiOnIce We were using preseed, which was brilliant, but then I got a uti the last time I used it. Probably a complete coincidence, as my immune system took a hit with other things like a throat infection, but it really put me off.

Sorry to hear you’re feeling down @79andnotout I’ve got friends who took a full year to conceive and some of them were using opks to improve their chances each month. I’ve just looked back at my app and i’ve been logging my cycles since October 2017. Had a few wobbles though and had some months of trying, but not trying. Also had some months where we didn’t dtd at all. The cb monitor has also shown that we may have got our timing wrong on the months we did try properly. It’s not easy, that’s for sure I know what you mean about being in mental conflict. I think a lot of us on this thread are having those thoughts - maybe something to do with coming at it a bit later & the stage of life we’re all at.

Just had a lovely glass of mulled wine and feeling very relaxed and sleepy 🍷 You know you’re getting older when you look forward to slipping into comfy pjs on a Friday night Happy weekend ladies x

Been out with my mates tonight and now I'm joining you with the pj's @PixieN 😊 Not seen them for ages, so it was nice to just catch up and not think about TTC at all!

@79andnotout it's the 8th cycle for DP and I too, but with my back history with the ex it's technically my 50th cycle! 😱 Thank god there was a 5 year break in the middle otherwise I think I'd have lost my mind completely 😏 It's a total head fuck whether you've been trying for 6 cycles or 50 cycles in my opinion.

So. Despite feeling that something is up (I know 5dpo is faaarrr too early and I'm probably just coming down with a virus 🙄) I still had a bottle of wine with my IRL friends and a couple of G&Ts with DP when I got home. Realistically, despite not feeling quite right, I just can't believe that falling pregnant is possible for me so I really can't feel bad about drinking more than would be appropriate if we did conceive this cycle 🤷‍♀️

... Sods law says this would absolutely be the one bloody time that I get a BFP, wouldn't it?! 😓

Glad to hear everyone's making the most of the festive season! Sadly I work in a pub so no much chance of chilling out but day off tomorrow

I got a very definite positive on the opk this morning (cd19) despite having an almost positive on cd11, thank fuck for @Kescilly saying to carry on testing regardless!

First BFN for me. First cycle having had the coil removed so I know it could take a while for my body to get itself sorted. Using an app to track things but wanted a month to ‘relax into it’ without getting too caught up. Overdue AF, no sign of it appearing so took a test this morning. Happy I can have a guilt free drink but not knowing what my body is doing is frustrating. Will look to track ovulation moving forward. Not really sure where to start though. Shaking this stupid cold and reducing work stress might help too.... can’t wait for Christmas break!!

Morning all :) sorry to hear about bfn @79andnotout and @zoomies1

I'm due af on Tuesday. Hopefully should have my blood test results back on Monday. I'm pretty sure I am ovulating but am interested to see my figures. If af arrives on time I'll get my cd1-5 bloods done on Thursday. I keep flitting between this could be the month we do it and why would this month any different.

Yay for the positive opks @Pinkywoo :) enjoy your day off

I hope sods law does happen for you this month @BambiOnIce80, when is af due?

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend x

Oooh @Pinkywoo! This time of year most be hellishly busy at work!🎄😣 Interesting on the second BFP OPK 🤔 Sounds like you've covered your bases 👍

Meant to say @79andnotout that one of my mates tried for 3 years without success. Had bloods and SA done (nothing untoward there) and didn't want any more poking and prodding so left the investigations there and decided they were getting another puppy instead (there's definitely a common theme, isn't there?!🐶). They started looking at puppies, thought they'd found the one they wanted and BAM - BFP! She was gutted!! 😂🤣 Obviously loves the kid now, but every time he's a little 💩 she says "I knew we should have got a puppy instead"!

Sorry for the BFN @zoomies1 💐 Which type of coil did you have? I had the mirena, which the doc said would allow my cycle and fertility to return to normal immediately once it was out. Having read around though (because my periods were regular but way lighter than they used to be before the coil) and turns out what the doc said wasn't 100% right 🙄 As the mirena has progesterone in it, it can take your cycle something like 3-12 months to return to what's normal for us 😕 I'm cycle 8 now and my last AF was a bit more like what it used to be, so I'll be interested to see if the same thing happens this month. I wish I'd known this when I was freaking out that the lighter periods meant I had to be perimenopausal!!

Sounds like you've got a good plan of action there @VenusStarr 💉👍 My AF is due probably somewhere between Sunday the 16th and Monday the 17th - bloody ages away! Feeling a little bunged-up today, so think I'm right about a virus being responsible for me feeling a little off 🤒

Right. Must go do Christmas stuff! Have a good weekend everyone.x

Yes @BambiOnIce80 work's getting a bit crazy now! Not sure what to make of the opk results and have no idea when to expect AF now, I've decided I'm going to be naughty and test on Christmas Eve though, hopefully we'll all get a bfp for Christmas! 🎄

Got my last update earlier this morning and my little trooper was still developing and progressing nicely. And now my little trooper is on board the mama train! Got very emotional watching it happening and even got a little snap of my tiny bean. Been given loads of things to take and test day in 10 days.
Fingers crossed for all of us!!

Very exciting news @Russkispy! 😍 Have a safe journey home and fingers-crossed for a sticky bean 🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻🍀

Great news @Russkispy, fingers crossed for you 🤞

Dh told me that my boobs look big today. Trying not to think about it too much. I'm definitely not testing early this month. Have been Christmas shopping all day, feeling shattered. Its made me feel a bit more festive, have been properly bah humbug this year.

@Russkispy rooting for your little bean.

@BambiOnIce80 hats off to you, I admire how optimistic you are. You know, my Mum was married for 8 years before she fell pregnant with me. She did have a miscarriage a few years before and nothing year after year so decided that she would get a kitten instead, and fell pregnant with me almost immediately. Cleo was a little white fur ball and was my mate for 18 years.

Am feeling rather jaded today after the first Christmas do of the season last night 😑

5:30 and I am in my pjs.

@79AndNotOut For me this will be my 4th month of trying although I don’t really think the first month counted because, we didn’t really know what we were doing. We knew where everything went of course 🤣 but I only had a vague idea of when I might ovulate!

Got a BFP the next month, which was the first month using cbfm, but ended in a cp. I am hopeful that we will get a sticky one soon. Currently CD11, BFN OPKs so far.

We were out with my husbands friends and their WAGs last night and they are lovely girls but I am not close to them really. It’s the first social thing I’ve been to since the cp and I never imagined that I would find it difficult, but I struggled to make conversation. They were all talking about how rubbish 2018 was and I didn’t really want to contribute - it’s the first time we’ve put away quite a bit of booze and I felt a bit emotionally wobbly which is totally unlike me.

I am indoors tonight with a new knitting project on the go and I reckon I’ll be in bed by 9:30. I just can’t drink like I used to. I don’t suppose the milk stout, red wine and gin helped either.... 😖

Well AF came last night so I think the crashing hormones were making me down. I'm back to my normal pragmatic self today and have made use of my refresh in energy and scrubbed the bathroom (it was disgusting, for some reason our cleaner never really touches it), and got lots of little jobs done. I'm now sat by the fire with a bottle of cider planning a redecoration of my living room, with Giles Peterson on in the background, happy days.

@MrsRRC - I find myself randomly emotional a lot too, and that's not normal for me either. I well up at the most bizarre things. Hope your hangover passes soon. And yeah fingers crossed the next bean sticks.

@Russkispy - fingers crossed for some good news in ten days! It sounds like a little trooper anyway, so here's hoping.

@Pinkywoo You must be knackered! My brother works in a bar and it's intense, although I think he supplements it with all nighters clubbing. Not sure he ever sleeps at all!

@BambiOnIce80 - yeah I remember you've basically had a million cycles TTC. You are amazingly optimistic and pragmatic about it all. I really think that's the best way to be.

Good ,luck for Monday @VenusStarr - it'll be good to have actual confirmation you are ovulating.

@zoomies1 - I was on the progesterone only pill and it took nearly a year for my periods to regularise out, although I think that was also age related. The coil is a lower dose, but I'd still expect a few months of some random cycles before they level out. You can still get pregnant though, quite a few of my friends did even though their cycles were still all over the place.

Thanks @PixieN I think we both started TTC around the same time then, I've also missed quite a few cycles through working away and OH not being up for it etc. It is really difficult when the window is so short. I just had a lo9 and my next fertile period will be over Christmas when I'm at my dads house. There is no way OH will be up for anything then! Also his spare bed is really creaky.

@79andnotout Giles Peterson 😍 I used to be a regular at his nights at Bar Rumba and stay up to listen to his radio 1 show.

Totally with you on the random emotions. Must. Suppress. Them. All.

@MrsRRC Bar Rumba! Blast from the past, I used to go there with my first boyfriend as a teen. Ah to be young again. I used to love going dancing. Now I can't stay awake after midnight, i need to go to some daytime raves...

I'm well jeal of the big boobs @VenusStarr! I am but a meager A cup (my cup never runneth over 🙄). And I'm always Bah humbug when it come to Christmas 😂 It's just not my thing. I don't even usually put decorations up! 😬 Thought it was going to just be me & DP for Christmas this year, so I could get away with it again... but now it looks like there's going to be 4 of us and I'm going to have to get my Christmas game face on! 🤶The absolute bonus is that it's a couple that's joining us and the guy is getting his girlfriend a kitten for Christmas and wants to leave if with us to surprise her on the day- winning at life!! 🎉😁🐱 I'm hoping it'll make DP cat broody! 😍

That's a beautiful conception/kitten story @MrsRRC 😊 I'm also joining you in pj/onesie hungoverness 😉 DP's on night shift this weekend so I see an early night with lovely clean sheets coming on (ah, the simple pleasures in life! 😂).

Sorry AF has presented herself @79andnotout 💐 Glad your mood is back on track though and your back to your getting 💩 done self. On the subject of the keeping optimistic/pragmatic while TTC, I honestly think our ages help. I think because we're in our 30's, we've generally got our lives together and are pretty happy with how things are in our worlds. Don't get me wrong, I'd like a bambino (at least 50% of the time!) and I'm doing all I can to make that happen. If it doesn't happen though, DP and I will carry on with our happy existence (and obviously with our eyes on our Chilean wine tour prize! 🍾🥂😎).

@MrsRRC I had a miscarriage in my twenties and still get teary if I think about it too much when hormonal, you'll be ok but you don't forget x

@79andnotout yep pretty knackered! I'm now on the sofa in my pyjamas with wine though.

Newbie question, after a positive opk when is the best time to dtd, that night or next day?

@Pinkywoo, BFP OPK indicates an LH surge that should trigger ovulation at some point in the next 12-36 hours... Yeah, I know, not the smallest of windows! 🙄 I think ideally you want to try and DTD every other day before you ovulate and then for two days on the trot after your BFP OPK (if you can face it, of course 😉).

Hi guys, can I join? 35 and have been trying for number one for what seems like forever now with no luck. I’m convinced we had a chemical pregnancy in September but no luck since. Desperately hoped we’d be pregnant by now, but trying to keep positive. Just realised my next AF or test day is on Christmas Day - bloomin’ wonderful!

Hi all, not posted in a couple of weeks. It’s been 7 weeks since I stopped my pill now and still no withdrawal bleed or period, don’t even feel like I’m trying to conceive yet as no idea what is going on with my body

Lots of people I know seem to be announcing pregnancies too, maybe it’s just that I’m noticing more because I want it, but Facebook is tough reading.

On the plus side, can enjoy a glass of wine over Christmas

Hi @Teachermummy83 welcome! Were pretty much cycle buddies, my next AF/test is boxing day!
Welcome back @Trying81. It seems ir can rake ages for cycles to return after vc. puty noine really makes that clear. The permanent fear that if you miss one pull and you're definitely pregnant when you're on it feels like a con!
I was getting in the Christmas spirit tonight. Cracked open a bottle of sherry hilst putting the decs up. Delish!

Omg. Spelling, sorry. I wish there was an edit feature on this. Hope you can work out what I meant!

Yep you’re right, I’ve spent years worried when I’ve forgotten a pill - what a waste of time that was!!!