35+ TTC#1 Thread 4

[BambiOnIce80]

We're very close to maxing-out our previous thread, so time to start afresh 🙂

To borrow the intro from @Blondcat (our old threads founder):

A wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the ttc journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Good luck all!! 🍀🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻

With you there @trying, What a waste of energy my careful 20’s were - all spent being completely paranoid about contraception - that’s just laughable now!

:( just had a small amount of spotting this morning so af will be here either Monday if I'm spotting today or Tuesday, as expected. I just feel so sad. Counted up my cycles and this is cycle 13, we actually missed two cycles one due to illness and we held off the month before our wedding so would have been 15. There is a positive in that we get more opportunities because of my short cycles but its soul destroying each time to think this could be the time we did it. I just don't know if it will ever happen for us :(

Welcome @Teachermummy83 👋 I thought I'd got the contraception thing nailed in my 20's, but now starting to suspect I'd had zero chance of getting pregnant all along! 😏 Fingers-crossed for a Christmas BFP for you 🤞🏻

That's frustrating that AF hasn't shown up @Trying81. The pill really does seem to do a number on our bodies 😔 Someone I know came off it in March and had her first AF in September. She was mega frustrated, understandably.

Glad you're well and truly getting into the Christmas spirit @CNizzle 🥂😎

Sorry that AF might be on her way @VenusStarr 💐 I know it's hard everytime AF turns up and it's difficult to imagine a BFP ever happening, but try and have a little faith in medical science and that it can hopefully help get you where you want to be.x

Thank you @BambiOnIce80 I have a good snotty cry on dh. He is very pragmatic and feels that now we've started the journey to find out why we aren't conceiving, we will know the reason and sort it. I've tried to explain to him that it's really difficult for me not to think about it because my body constantly reminds me. I'd love to wake up one day and think 'oh I haven't had a period in a while, I wonder...' I know I'm very lucky that my cycles are regular.

Feeling physically quite run down and achey. Seeing my niece and nephew today so hopefully they will give me a big hug.

Sorry for being so negative this morning x

@BambiOnIce80 I hope it doesn’t take that long!

I came off the pill 4 years ago when I was single, I’d had appendicitis so didn’t take them for a few days and decided to just stop with hormonal contraception for a while (met DP 6 months later) and that time I had a bleed right away and periods were back to normal instantly. DP keeps saying I must be pregnant, but done 4 tests so pretty sure I’m not

@VenusStarr I think everyone must have low points, it’s mentally draining

And as I say that, I’ve logged on to Facebook and the first post is a scan picture from an ex colleague announcing her pregnancy - happy for her, but also quite jealous

Okay so I am one of those people who missed a few pills and got pregnant. I had one weekend of sex in my late twenties with a new man and bam, pregnant. I had a chemical termination at 5 weeks (I was living abroad and had private healthcare so it was super fast) and wrongly thought it would be easy in my thirties. Turns out thirties fertility is completely different to twenties.

Sorry about AF @VenusStarr.

Welcome back @Trying81 and welcome @Teachermummy83 .

Good effort on the sherry @CNizzle, it must've been good with all those typos :)

Never apologise @VenusStarr 💖 Being optimistic is all well and good, but it's not good for our mental health to put a brave face on it 100% of the time. I think your DP's attitude is excellent (you've got a good'un there 😉). I'd probably add that don't be too disheartened if the investigations don't find anything wrong with you. That's what happened to me and it was a total head f🤬k! Like your DP, I thought "they'll find what's wrong and then we'll fix it"... but they couldn't find anything wrong. I've started lurking on a couple of the infertility threads and a poster was saying that they were diagnosed with unexplained infertility, went for IVF and it became apparent that her eggs let far too many sperm in and ended up with a genetic mess that had no chance of implanting! With IVF though they could introduce just the one sperm and she got pregnant 👍 I'm not saying that the latter will be the cause of all unexplained infertility (there must be a million and 1 causes!), but I guess I'm saying IVF can work even when it's not obvious why we can't get pregnant in the first place - so there's hope! 😊

7dpo here and nothing to report except for the usual tender boobs 🙄 It's a surprisingly dry day out there, so I'm off for a run to clear the cobwebs (and shift some pre-Christmas calories!). Have a good Sunday ladies.x

Yeah the diagnosis of 'unexplained' fertility is just 'your infertility is not caused by these top three reasons that are cheap and easy to identify'. There are bucket loads of other things you could check for but it's expensive and not practical, and ivf usually corrects for some of these without knowing what is wrong.

Hope you have something nice planned for today @VenusStarr to cheer yourself up.

Thank you @79andnotout @BambiOnIce80 @Trying81 I managed to pick myself up. However I then got baby bombed at a family gathering by my uncle and his wife. Its his second marriage and she is a couple of years older than me. Baby due in May. I had to plaster a smile on my face and congratulate them. I do have to remember that I don't know what others are going through. He had to have ivf with his first wife due to mfi... He's also just in his 50s I'm happy for them but sad for us. Part of it gives me hope that you just never know what's to come. Am feeling pretty hopeless for myself today though.

When I was sobbing to dh earlier I told him I don't want anyone elses baby so I'm not jealous in that sense, I just want our baby. Af cramps are ramping up now :(

Going to cuddle up on the sofa and watch a film I think. Hope everyone has had a good weekend.

Morning all. Hope everyone is OK. Had my day 21 bloods back, definitely ovulating, was 46 - that was 5 days after I think I ovulated. Af still not started but had some bright red blood this morning so guessing it's a matter of time. Negative test today.

Got a telephone counselling assessment via my GP surgery booked for tomorrow too. Feeling very puffy faced after crying again last night and feeling a bit wobbly today. But good news that I am ovulating.

Great news that you’re ovulating, must be a big weight off your mind.

Very good news on your progesterone result @VenusStarr 🙂 Also good news about the phone counselling appointment- sounds like good timing 👍 Thinking of you and sending you positive vibes.x

That's great news @VenusStarr and a very nice day 21 result!

I am thoroughly fed up with work today. I think I would have quit here ages ago if it didn't have a good mat leave policy. I got up at 1am to send an email because it was going round and round in my head. I need to learnt to switch off from the stress before I grind all my teeth away in my sleep...

If I don't get pregnant this year then I'm daydreaming about sacking it all off and starting in a new field, as we wont need as much cash. Something part time so I get to hang out with my dog(s) more! I find myself increasingly wondering what all the point is of working full time, buying needless crap, and not having enough time to just relax and breathe. Thoroughly feel part of the rat race these days.

@79andnotout I could have written it myself. I feel like I'm constantly on auto pilot. I now have the career and the nice materialistic things in life and now I'm questioning it all. So used to work hard for what I want but the baby isn't working as the rest did. However I know if I had had a baby in my 20's I wouldn't be happy now not having achieved what I have. Does it makes sense? Feeling fed up and ungrateful 😔

@VenusStarr positive news on both counts. The emotional toll of ttc is wearing and it can be all consuming it’s hard to pull away from it. I hope the counselling telecon goes well.

@79andnotout I know what you mean. When you are young and naive you this grand plan about how you will earn your money and spend your time and in reality the money you have goes on stuff you don’t really need that makes you happy for about 5 seconds for the 3-4 hours you have to yourself when you are not working, commuting or sleeping.

Makes me sad.

I am CD12 at the moment and got my first high of the month on the cbfm.

I have a feeling the Pregnacare Multi vits might be messing with my cycle and delaying my ovulation so I am coming off them, see what happens.

@MrsRRC I'm with you on the Pregnacare. Something isn't right there. I'm going on folic acid alone next month.

@QuantumGirl from the bit of reading I’ve done, a lot of people say that Pregnacare has messed with their cycle on the various forums. I think it might be the amount of b vits myself.

@MrsRRC I think you are spot on. I started taken Kira hormonal balance and it actually stopped my pre-period spotting whilst pregnacare didnt. I'm now doing a take 2 on the Kira to see if my suspicions are correct. AF due on Friday so should have some results soon 😏

I'm exactly the same @QuantumGirl - no way I would have wanted a kid in my 20's and frustrated that putting the same work ethic into TTC doesn't result in a bambino 😣

I do love my job, but wouldn't mind the same money for working part time and less managerial responsibility... A girl can dream! 😂 Sadly, due to getting divorced and starting again a drop in salary is definitely not a goer for me for the foreseeable 😏

On the pregnacare vit front, I've read in plenty of places that people reckon it's messing with their cycles. I take them, but don't see any difference to my cycle (I think my cycle is unstoppable though, so possibly an exception to the rule?!).

Afternoon ladies so relieved got my low risk results in the post today so all going well here.

Sorry for the bfn's and af's fingers crossed for anyone testing soon. I just took folic acid and vit d seemed to work well for me.

@Blondcat brilliant news 😁

I'm definitely going to pitch for losing at least one day next year, I'd be happy to lose the salary now more than half my mortgage is cleared. Pensions is a whole other matter though. I seem to have accrued bugger all despite opting in to every pension I've been offered. My plan is DP funds my retirement as I paid for our house (he will work until he drops, he loves it). Now I just need to make sure he eats well and exercises and lives a long, healthy life :)
I met up with my old lab mates a couple of weeks ago @BambiOnIce80 and one of them was saying his wedding cost him £8k and his divorce cost him £38k two years later! Expensive do.

I take boots own brand folic acid, vid d, vitamin e, vitamin c and coenzyme q10. Oh and cod liver oil. They're all cheap except the coenzyme q10 and I don't think I take enough of that to make any difference anyway so will probably stop when it runs out.

Fantastic news @Blondcat!

Great news @Blondcat and lovely to hear from you. Keep us posted.

Sounds like positive news @VenusStarr - good luck with the telephone counselling appointment.

I feel exactly the same about work @79andnotout I am desperate to go part time to have some semblance of a work/life balance. It would be lovely to have a proper weekend off as I always work on Sundays

@Blondcat, fantastic news! What's your official due date now?

@VenusStarr, sorry you're going through a rough time. But good news about confirmed ovulation! It's so difficult when you see all the babies and pregnant women around. Be kind to yourself.

Have you seen this?

m.youtube.com/watch?v=e9dZQelULDk

Kind of makes you question the idea of happiness and fulfilment in modern society. Makes me want to escape to a remote area of the country and live a very simple life lol