Planet viroid, a spiritual home for all of the shaggers! It's JS 61, this is going to be the big one!

[Tinkfromlovejoy]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like 'something' = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing a Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 59 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

If the bleeding doesn't come back and it isn't an early af (Please No!) Then I'll test on Monday as I'm away this weekend and I'd rather do it when I get back as I've got lots planned and a bfp will obviously be a massive distraction and I'll struggle to keep my trap shut to my friends and family

I'm being v cautious with my excitement because its our first cycle ttc and we did lose an unexpected baby a couple of years ago. I found that extremely difficult because I didn't even know I was pregnant until the mc started to happen. Hence why I'm such an avid symptom spotter now, having only recently felt mentally strong enough to actually ttc.

I finally stopped blaming myself and realised that it was nature's way of saying that something wasn't right... Anyway positive thoughts for you, me and everyone

Yay for follicles kwick

Snogs fleur

little milk binge = trying to drink milk at every opportunity to help follicles on their way. I read that a very successful IVF clinic actually prescribes milk for their clients - so as it is readily available I decided to give it a go with my last IVF cycle.
I am lucky - I get to see the progress of my follicle growth via scans - but even if you are JS I think it is worth considering. Just beware - bingeing up to ovulation but no further as can interfere with implantation.

Welcome back fleur

cannot I did not really appreciate, until it happened to me, how many pregnancies end in MC, particularly in early stages. And it is the body's way of letting go when something is wrong. Fx for this time for you.

Morning all,

Thanks kwick and hi fleur I'm another 'relaxed' one over here. I didn't even know what an OPK was until I joined this thread

I was so unwell last night (nauseous/sore body esp boobs/headache) that 12yo dss said "Mum, are you ok? You've been a bit sickly for a few days now. Maybe you should go on Google and check if you might be pregnant. I saw a TV show where the woman was feeling sick and dizzy and she was pregnant you know."

OMG the boy is so sweet and thoughtful. Dh is away and dss and I are very close and we do enjoy our little chats so I smiled and said "Yeah, you might be right." Then we talked for quite a while about things and he was quite excited by the idea of what might happen in the future. I made a point of explaining that it might not be happening just yet but the smart little chap noticed that I'd stopped drinking recently.

I don't usually drink a lot but I'm a dreadful social smoker so I havent touched a drop and something he said that really touched me was "Well when you have wine with your dinner you normally have some cigarettes too. So even if you're not pregnant, you're going to end up healthier because now you've stopped both."

Bloody hell I love my boy. I hope I do get pregnant because he's shown me what a great big brother he'd be

Cannot He sounds absolutely lovely

Awww cannot he sounds lovely! Gx for you. don't know how you can hold off testing until Monday.

Big snogs zyla - I do think you can have some tests on the NHS. A friend of mine had secondary infertility (caused by an immune system problem) and she had all the tests bar AMH (this could me wrong!?!) and IVF on the NHS- in fact she had the same consultant throughout but just did a few bits privately. Also, some private clinics will do testing for a couple of hundred £ if you wanted to get going now.

Sending positive follicle thoughts kwick

Tough night with DS. He woke up at 2am and that was it for the night I finally got him to sleep in his pram at 5am for 2.5hrs. He is not selling the idea of a sibling....

cannot your DSS sounds soooooo lovely and so intelligent!

I have had further 1mm growth so now at 14mm and 11mm - growth is slow potentially due to the fact 2 follicles are growing... Very interesting - we do have a history of fraternal twins in the family

kwick go follicles go!

Cannot your dss sounds like such a sweetheart. All sounds very promisinig - gx!!

Kwick all very exciting!!!

Twot is dragging by

So dilemma viroids when dp and I went to fc a while back the consultant told him to cut out drinking as he thought this could have an effect on his motility yesterday having worked really hard clearing out all our old carpets and the garage dp was desperate for a chill out and a pint! But said he would have a soft drink instead as we had agreed no booze til crimbo and he knew I'd be pissed off anyway long story short dp got up in night as was having trouble sleeping (in early hours between 3 + 4) and had 3 cans now he thinks I don't know and has hidden the cans but I dunno weather to just leave it and avoid the inevitable row or actually confront him!?!? Any thoughts??

coribeth Oh dear In your place I would say I'd found the cans and suggest relaxing the alcohol ban. Surely it's better to enjoy one pint of beer every week or two than feel deprived and binge in the middle of the night! (Which is a bit random to say the least!)

Cori that's a tough one, I'd probably chat to him about it, esp if it's going to play on your mind. I've kinda had the same with my hubby, although we're not completely cutting out drink we've cut down on it substantially. It took him a while to get his head around, which was really frustrating, bit I think he just needed a bit of time to take it all on board & some re-edutcating

I think it prob doesn't help that growing up and even now it's the norm on a Saturday night for his parents to have ten cans or so in the house ( well his dad his mum drinks vodka) where as my parents never drank in the house only when they went out and as I come from a long line of nurses that wasn't very often due to shift work and as my mum is still nursing into her sixties that's still the case it's a once in a while treat to me it's very clear cut beer or baby but I do get that isn't his mind set and am trying to be really rational about it when we were at the fc the consultant said cut it out as no one knows for sure exactly how much alcohol consumption it takes to have an effect so zero was really the only way to go but now I'm sounding like some obsessive nut job! Garr why can't this be easy think I'm panicking more since I hit the big 40 that biological clock seems to tick louder every day!

Tough one coribeth being footloose and fancy free read Bridget Jones in her forties I am not really in a position to give you DH advice but if you can speak to him in a calm way and also relax and have an occasional drink then that would be my recommendation. Are you doing the other things like dietary and temp changes? I think they probably have more impact than occassional tipple.

I've lost two stone Kwick as the other thing the consultant said was that I should lose weight intend to be at target by christmas which will be four stone lighter than I wAs then am going to give the Clomid a go again the temping doesn't work for me I have to disturbed sleep plus I do nights as well do use a cbfm though!

Hello all, been a while since I have been on!

Dh is off out for the weekend as it is his birthday weekend and is just having fun (fair enough) ds is being a total pain though so I am really regretting saying I don't mind lol!

Well Viroids I'm catching up whilst sitting on the bathroom floor trying not to chunder. Clearly this is due to the fact that I am upduffed with twins from the sex we had three day ago, ignoring the fact that I haven't ovulated since March 2015 and definitely not because I made dairy free truffles and then ate them all.

Kwick, go follicles, go!!
Corgi, gp training is tough, but hang in there - you will be a gp that genuinely makes people's lives better.
Zyla, I know you've had a hard time and I know that you are grieving but I will have less of this 'I hate myself' talk - stop it! You are a great person, a fantastic Mum to H and most importantly - A VIROID. Be kind to yourself, you are awesome.
Fleur, so glad you are back!
Cannot, I have everything crossed for you. Your bleednotbleed sounds positive to me!
Coribeth high five for the 2 stone weight loss, that's awesome!

pud self inflicted sickness is never good. I hope you are feeling better.

cori way to go on your weightloss!!! Amazing job!
I could do with losing probably about 3 stone (if not more) but this has never come up as an issue in the FC.

Off for day 15 scans in a minute.

Welcome back Fleur!

Your DSS sounds lovely, cannot. Love that you have that bond.

Well done on the weight loss, Cori. I'd line the cans up on the side and then glare at him, but that would cause a row. I agree that a permissive one or two a month might make him happier. Does he not believe the consultant?

Hahaha pud you are brilliant. Still can't believe you are trying again so soon!
Cori tricky one isn't it. My dh is also drinking a fair bit on occasion but so am I so I can't really point the finger. Think if it takes much longer I'm going to suggest we have a month off the sauce...though that would just make me miserable I guess.
Chat how are you doing?
Cannot your dss is adorable!! Can I have him?!
Zyla hugs, none of this body hating you chat. Lots of soothing icy love your way.
Kwick how exciting re your follicles! Fingers crossed!
Hello to newbies!
Nfmv: 12dpo here, af due today or tomorrow. Home for bank hol so no tests around. Witch like cramps abound so not too hopeful. Also no sore boobs/nips which I have always had when pg....ah well.

How are you feeling pud?

cori I wouldn't be able to hold back from saying anything to DH. If he's anything like mine, once told not to do something he will make damn sure he does! Could you relax the ban a bit so he can have a couple of beers at the weekend?

corgi GX for you. I hate the waiting stage.

So NFMW (news frommy womble): one follicle at 16mm (minimum for egg collection), one at 11, one at 8. Lining above 8mm (which is minimum). Just had injections administered to delay ovulation. Also been given an injection to self administer when told to trigger ovulation. So egg collection likely tomorrow or tuesday. The milk binge continues

kwick that sounds really positive, fx you get some eggs! Do you know how many you will get? Is it one egg per folicle?

cori well done on the weightloss
I am loosing weight at the moment I wanna get another 2 stone off by December!

cannot awww your dss sounds a total sweetie!! Also poas! !

fleur hello hello hello

cookie it should be one egg per follicle - I will be happy with one egg but I am going to continue the milk binge to help with growth. Egg collection now confirmed for tuesday morning.

Dearest viroid please see photo for list of ingredients commonly found in beauty products - some impact fertility!!!