Planet viroid, a spiritual home for all of the shaggers! It's JS 61, this is going to be the big one!

[Tinkfromlovejoy]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like 'something' = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing a Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 59 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

But how do you do that Tinkle I mean how did you convince interviewers you wanted to take a step down?

Yay Corgi! So pleased :)

Howd'y all, how are things?

Work's been unbelievably crazy for me (but in a good way, lots of exciting projects) & still loaded with this head cold. Have a day off work today, so curled up on the sofa watching trashy tv

kwick I went to a supplier of ours, they had wanted me for a bit but were a small business. Ironically they got rid of me quite quickly but I'd anticipated it and had a cunning plan Its just taking that first step and getting out that's hard and they facilitated that for me, for which I'll be forever grateful.

I love that you had a cunning plan tinkle I am still working on mine!

I got a BFN yesterday so on to IVF #3

Gosh, so so sorry kwick
Is there any way you could get a bit of time off for your next cycle?

Sorry for the bfn Kwick hope you're taking care of yourself

CD1, again, of course. Fucks sake

Ain did they measure your height or can you tell them you're 5'2?
That's a massive effort to lose all that weight though. Huuuge well done. Gx you get the clpmid soon. I know a few that have done well with it.

Pud you and I will be in the TTCx2 club together after xmas. Checked my app and shagging commences 5/1/17. DH won't know what hit him after the drought since last TTC

So sorry kwick

Shit one Just sorry she got you

Vidroids we need a new fred, anyone know how to do it?

Oh just its rotten,

It really is a bunch of shit tink. Just worked out that it's been 28 months now, and with shortish cycles that's around 31 cycles of shagging, getting my hopes up, crushing disappointment....and repeat, ad infinitum.

Had a total meltdown this time, think sobbing, swearing mess. Poor DH (eek that's still weird!), he's so lovely and he just doesn't know what to say. He's still optimistic though which kills me as I just want to scream that there's clearly no fucking point.

Redid my progesterone test for FC, was 33 so that's fine and means they can't fob me off with clomid which was their plan. I just hope this time they actually put us on the list for IVF as I feel like I get fobbed off every time I go. Hopefully they will accept my redone one as the one I did for them I did on the wrong day so won't be high enough.

Fed up of getting my hopes up now, especially after lap and dye, I really believed that would increase my chances as the consultant said.

Also annoyed I can't find anywhere warm to go for Christmas honeymoon that doesn't have zika

Read earlier that 95% of people get pregnant after 2 years so I feel even more like it's not going to happen.

Sorry, rant over. I'll feel better when I'm on the IVF list and I feel like I have a plan.

Hope everyone is well, sorry for being a whinger!

This made me laugh earlier, my sister always cheers me up.....

Purple! That's wonderful news! Shaaaaaaaaag!

Ah, Just and Kwick, so sorry.

X-posted there. Just, you are more than entitled to the swearyness and the tears, I really really want this to happen for you and I'm sorry that it is not. Let the tears flow in the next FC meeting, get thee on that list. Unmumsnetty hugs.

Just sorry to hear AF got you. Side note though - Did I miss you getting hitched?

And sorry for the BFN Kwick

I seem to have had a visit from AF. But confused. I have had spotting on and off from last Monday (15 days after my suspected ov-ing), then one and a half days of a normal flow (yesterday/this morning) and now back to spotting. What day is CD1? I know it's supposed to be the first full day of flow, but with all those days of spotting first and only one day of proper bleeding... Urgh. Wish I had normal cycles!

They already know my height at the FC unfortunately. And I don't think I could get away with saying I'm 5'2 anyway... I'm only 4'10...

kwick sorry, I missed your bfn.

ain yes! I am a wife! We got engaged in August and married in October. country did the photos! ''Twas fab.
If it was just spotting before then I would say that yesterday was cd1. That's very frustrating. I can't remember if you have tried soy isoflavins? If not might be worth it- natures clomid!

just what a fcuker

I am behind on the thread - but I need to sleep some more, so night night for now.

Congrats Just ! I'm so sorry I missed all the excitement!

I've tried soy twice before. Once it appeared to bring my ov-ing forwards and was the shortest cycle I've had since I came off birth control. Still stupidly long... But hey. The second time I tried it I upped the dose and it was one of the longer cycles I've had. The soy was the only thing different both times, so there is a possibility that could be the reason... Or just that PCOS fucks my cycles up and soy makes no difference? I might try again this cycle. Will take some tonight if I have some. See what happens. I'm also intrigued by myo insolitol.

Oh, oops... double posting!

I made a new Fred as we are dangerously near the end of this one with no home to go to... Hope no one minds.

Do not mind Ain but what is the link?

It's above isn't it?? Where it says 'new Fred'?

But here is is again.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2796204-Lights-twinkle-its-icy-cold-outside-tis-the-season-of-Yuletide-come-and-join-us-yes-you-For-this-is-JS62?watched=1

Last post. Let's move over to the new Fred.