We have enjoyed jizzidents and jizznamis. We are fans of having a rummage and we are getting all the baby juice we can to keep the bfp boom going. Join us in JS 59!!!

[ScottishLady7]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like 'something' = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing a Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 58 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2563504-You-are-not-a-robot-and-the-ovary-whisperers-chanting-for-you-in-the-viroid-commune-with-our-carved-cock-relics-dont-panic-about-the-acid-foof-Its-JS-58" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2564387-Weve-had-birthday-twins-and-therell-be-real-twins-come-the-summer-mini-eggs-and-GTTs-abound-on-the-JSgrads-45th-fred" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2541376-Our-babies-are-teething-screaming-and-generally-not-sleeping-but-were-still-JS-ing-its-Just-Mumming-10" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-website-s-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit?pli=1#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-10/iu-iss100515.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Stumbly you must poafrer with fmu in a couple of days, I totally know what you mean about the gut feeling.

Canters I think your hormones are telling you what you couldn't get from the lack of frer.

I really hope this frer shortage has not hit here yet, I was going to go out and get one tomorrow in advance of what I hope will be a Monday morning pissy party in my house!

Canters I'm pretty sure that's a pregnancy symptom

I'm with you Stumbly - I think there was something there originally fuels crazy. I hate the blue tests, though, they are usually only 25miu as opposed to pink ones that pick up 10. See you first thing in the morning!

I'm off skiing (very gently and carefully) tomorrow, hot chocolate and good foods abound! It's DD's first time, she's very excited :)

Haha name x-post!

Symptom spotting update: I have broken out in chin spots which I never get...and have slightly sore boobs. The cramping continues.

stumbly I have an insane amount of spots. It's definitely a symptom of an impending daughter Do you have another frer for tomorrow?

Canters I empathise completely about needing to keep POASwithaline to see it get darker. Crying is definitely also a symptom though.

Hi everyone, thanks for the welcome. Got some pant snot today (CD33) so looks like I might finally be ovulating after my mc .

Scottish fuss-whore is how my mate described our cat when she cat-sat for me, we always thought he was grumpy and aloof but he turns out he'd roll over for a fuss from anyone who fed him.

Stumbly gx there's a bean burrowing in there.

stumbly gx for a little bean

just sorry your Easter will be a bit rough

This Frer shortage is scary. I've got one left from last month so now I want to wait to use it just in case I can't buy more.

What the hell is going on with the frer shortage???

I have a frer so if anyone needs one, I can post it!

I do feel slightly ridiculous now!

Stumbly- I had a huge spot flare pre bfp too. And slightly odd not quite tender but not quite right boobs......gx.

Cats, am excited for Monday morning pissy party! I've got a good feeling about both you and stumbly.

stumbly what a mare! Gx for next POAS.

Sorry viroids... i may have contributed to FRER shortgae:
A) I have stockpiled
B) I may have mentioned to other viroids they need to use a FRER

Bloody hell what is it with people and bad breath???? Today I had it on both sides during a meeting and when either of them spoke I had to stop breathing! Yuck!

I do not feel preggers.... :(

Anyway I am exhausted so off to beddy bye byes....

Gx to all testing tomorrow!

Kwick is sensitive to smells. It's a symptom!

What fuzzy said ^ eeeep

How are you feeling chat? Is it sinking in? Or will that only come with symptoms? Try and remember you don't get any until 6-7 weeks. Be careful skiing missy! Enjoy the Ho chocs and cheese! How old is dd? Bet she's so excited!

canters pretty sure your crying episode tells you more than a frer will

I'm going to be a non js'er this cycle I think, I've got a (non ttc related) op/procedure on 6th April that I can't have if I'm pregnant and I really need it. So I think I'm going to have a month off, my head probably needs it too. Also if I get pregnant this cycle it leaves me needing a 20 week scan in Japan which isn't ideal, especially if it shows a problem.If by some miracle I get upduffed in next couple of cycles I could have dating scan in Australia which I'm fine with and if there were any problems I will be in an English speaking country etc.

However, I only have 3 cycles including this one to get pregnant before I have to put it on hold until August (being away from dp) so I'm not sure I'm doing right thing.

If I wasn't going to be away I would definitely skip this cycle as the procedure is on my back and I don't think my back as it is will cope with pregnancy but I'm running out of time!

Sorry, very self indulgent post but I'm having a bit of a head fuck!

just I'm trying to empathise, I really am, but I can't quite get past the fact that you're going to Japan and Australia within the next 9 months you lucky cow!
Seriously though. Hope your back operation goes well - sounds like that needs to be priority for now.
Are you going to use condoms while you pause TTC?

Ha ha I know, silver linings and all that! No, not going to use condoms but going to avoid fw and just have sex when we want to rather than on the clock. To be honest with my back sex hasn't been on the cards so not too much of an issue. Also dp rarely jizzes without a lot of extra faffing about so no need for condoms

Think my head needs a break too, I'm totally consumed with ttc and it's making me miserable

just a break sounds like a good idea :) hope your op goes well. I am very jealius of your travel plans - is it a holiday?

Btw I think I have always had a heightened sense of smell but the bad breath scenario of yesterday was just yucky! Normally I would offer a mint but I did not have any on me.

Have a wonderful time skiing chat!

Kwick, I love that you normally carry mints around with you to offer to smelly-breathed people! When are you testing? I am willing everything that you're pregnant.

Just- when's the surgery? Presumably you'd have had AF/found out pre surgery if you did get pregnant? If so I'd leave it for this month then carry on as before. You'd definitely be able to find an English speaking doctor for a scan in Tokyo, I reckon.

6th April so yes would know beforehand. Not a holiday no, but I'm going to remain vague about it! Also going to Bali

stumbly NFYV?

Just sounds like taking a break will do you good, give you some head space as well as getting your own health sorted. So jealous of those travel plans btw

Chat enjoy the ski trip & all the food lol

So ff has said I iced on Tues, so maybe I was a bit premature in calling it. If I did ice on Tues, this would give me a lp of 10 (presuming this is a normal 27 day cycle). So, I know lp should ideally be 12-14 days, but how worried should I be if lp is 10/11?

NFMV: Have had the tiniest amount of brown spotting overnight. I'm now 3 days late. Breasts still tender. Cramping continues. Chin spots are glorious.

There's definitely something very weird going on but who knows what. Last night I was massively optimistic and convinced I was pregnant and working out due dates. This morning I am feeling pessimistic because I POAFRER and still says BFN.

Very confused. Will just wait now and see what happens.

Just...very jealous of your travel plans! Very vague about the reason...

I can definitely see why you would stop for the op. Can you research what English speaking clinics there are where you're going in Japan?

Ooh, she's a meanie messing you around Stumbly.

Just I have PO7S so it definitely looks real. Still feels a bit dream-like if I'm honest, I'm sure that will change when symptoms kick in. DD is 4.5 (already!) and high as a kite. I'm a very careful/annoyingly ploddy skier - I do gentle runs and take lots of photos :)

I can see why you'd want to avoid being upduffed this cycle - get your back healthy. I wouldn't worry too much about Japan/timings. My cousin lives there and her daughter has a lot of health needs, they've never had an issue with English being spoken (and they aren't in a huge city). Medical stuff is so often done internationally that the good ones can all speak English. Having had one of the shittiest things possible to happen whilst living overseas, I can tell you that it is survivable. So don't overthink it - what will be will be. I'm intrigued as to the nature of your work too :)

I think 10d is okay for an LP Angel - it's less than ten days that's not quite right. I think La and some of the other grads had luck with vit B complex with a short LP.