We have enjoyed jizzidents and jizznamis. We are fans of having a rummage and we are getting all the baby juice we can to keep the bfp boom going. Join us in JS 59!!!

[ScottishLady7]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like 'something' = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing a Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 58 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2563504-You-are-not-a-robot-and-the-ovary-whisperers-chanting-for-you-in-the-viroid-commune-with-our-carved-cock-relics-dont-panic-about-the-acid-foof-Its-JS-58" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2564387-Weve-had-birthday-twins-and-therell-be-real-twins-come-the-summer-mini-eggs-and-GTTs-abound-on-the-JSgrads-45th-fred" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2541376-Our-babies-are-teething-screaming-and-generally-not-sleeping-but-were-still-JS-ing-its-Just-Mumming-10" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-website-s-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit?pli=1#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-10/iu-iss100515.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

chat I rarely lurk on these parts anymore and realise I must look like a complete stalker to see this so soon but fucking yes!!! What a lovely start to the weekend!! Will always have everything crossed for you my lovely. That's not even that faint. Now wrap thyself in cotton wool for a week or two and keep thinking positive thoughts xxxxxxxx

Ooh chats I think I see something too!

Erm. Guys. I poa opk today and got a positive. Normally at this point in my cycle I can only see a second line on them if I squint. Opks don't mean anything. Right? have had horrendous cramps over the last few days and feel like AF is imminent

chat you seem v calm about that squinter!

When is/was at due?
(Excited!!)

Also sausage I forgot to say yay for the chipolata!! So glad it's hanging in OK.

Chat....I don't even believe that's a squinter, seems a definite line to me. Gx for a sticky bean and continued BFP roll for us viroids!

Glad the chipolata(s) is still happily snuggled Sausage!

On that point...should I get upduffed I have a quite high chance of being upduffed with twins....I'm quite worried about the childcare costs and how we'd afford them so I try not to think about it too often...not like I can do anything about it!

Brilliant news Chat and in my experience anything that photographs so you can see it on MN is not a squinter! I am so pleased for you. X

Chat That looks like a faint line to me, congratulations! POAFRER tomorrow morning to be sure??

duck Sorry about your BFN, but it's not over til AF turns up! POAFRER if it hasn't turned up in a couple of days?

I'm on CD19, been diligently shagging EOD, pretty sure I must have iced by now so the motivation is waning! But will probably keep going every 3 days or so for the next week just to distract myself from TWOT.

Chat !!! That is one gorgeous BFP!! Well done womble! Thinking many sticky thoughts for you!

And for a sticky chipolata for you too, sausage gx it's buried deeply and in for the long haul.

canters what cycle day are you? do you have any frer sticks to hand

stumbly I choose to be nicely ignorant about how we're going to afford children. But kids don't have to be expensive. I am queen of second hands, freecycle and a yellow reduced sticker. I haven't bought anything full price for DS so far except formula
Childcare is the one big expense though. But people make it work. Do you have relatives who might do a day or two? Childminders & nurseries sometimes offer sibling discounts, and nannies are paid per family regardless of how many children they look after. Does your employer offer any tax free childcare voucher schemes?

Anyway, who else is joining this morning's piss party??

I POAS again this morning but not sure if it counts. Clearblue has increased to 3+ now, so I am starting to tentatively get my hopes up that this one might stick. I just don't have a single symptom and the only time that happened was with mmc, which shares the same due date as this current pregnancy. If only I could enjoy being pregnant and not become an anxious wreck!

11-12dpo I think duck. I have one frer but am determined to hold out til Monday when AF due....will see if opk darker tomorrow I guess.

Canters just seen your post. Definitely get a FRER because a positive opk when AF is due is a very promising sign!

fuzzy am keeping my fx that it is a sticker! Deep breaths please!

Viroids! I have made an executive decision! We must all buy shares in FRER!

Not even faint chat! Congratulations! Brilliant news! How are you feeling? Bit wobbly? Repeat: different pregnancy different outcome. Got everything crossed that this works out for you. Massive hugs.

Chat - definitely a line! I am so excited for you, keeping all my digits crossed. xxx

Canters - Gx for you too, and well done for waiting for the FRER - but don't keep us in suspense too long.

Fuzzy I didn't really get proper symptoms until somewhere between weeks 6-7. Slightly sore boobs and occasional slight queasiness, but NOTHING compared with the weeks of hell that followed.

Off on holiday tomorrow, they've apparently had >1m of fresh snow in resort in the last week so DH and co will hopefully have a great time! I'm just looking forward to a week off work, with my friends, in a beautiful setting. And ALL THE CHEESE. You can eat all the naughty cheeses if they're cooked, which means fondue-a-go-go!

canters it could mean something. Think I'm the only one who gets pos opks at 14dpo and then isn't pregnant!

Good news fuzzy,

tink hello! Lovely to see you you big stalker

Chat there's very definitely a line there, congratulations!! Gx for a sticky bean.

Duck sorry for the bfn, but your not out until the witch arrives.

Canters gx this is a good sign, & well done on not pofrer, you must have willpower of steel lol.

Fuzzy & Sausage have absolutely everything crossed for you guys that these are sticky beans.

Kwick that's a brilliant suggestion

Thanks for the birthday wishes yesterday vidoids, got cake & ghost jizz so perfect day really Feeling bit delicate today though

chat Yay! Definitely a line there

Eek! I'm on call this weekend so trying to focus. Yes that's it just- I know it can not mean anything, but it's something new. Trying to not get my hopes up too much.

Enjoy the holiday sock! Eat ALL of the cheese!!

It's usually a sign for everyone else so I would be optimistic!

Chat cough didn't even need to squint cough

Thanks all :)

Not calm at all 5hell! Easy to 'type calm', you can't see my fingers shaking AF was due between Thurs and today.

Tink My love! Great to see your words here. I really hope you're well and all is well at Casa Lovejoy.

GX Duck be ace to be Grads together again.

GX for Owlet and Chip too - I only get symptoms from 6+ weeks (unless there are giblets in there of course).

chat soooo exciting!!!! not even a faint line!!! amazing!!! eeeee. Excited to be grads together!

duck not out til witch arrives.

canters omg omg poafrerrrr!

canters & just hahahahahahha my MIL is indeed still with us. I have had many chats with DH about how hard I'm finding it (feel really bad as she is lovely, and has been through a lot, but gaaah who wants to live with their MIL?!) Anyway upshot of it all is that he has talked to her, she knows I'm pg and we will be kicking everyone out (lodgers and her) by end of summer. Also she is having counselling at last, and seems a lot happier. And we will probably lend her some money to get her cottage done up properly so she can either live there or rent it out for dosh. Feel a bit calmer now end is in sight. But also really worried that it hinges on the corglet sticking this time! I'm ridiculously superstitious.

fuzzy and sausage how are you feeling? fuzzy I know what you mean, with my mc I got to 10 weeks before I started spotting and it was only measuring 5-6 weeks on the scan. So I was walking around with something that was always going to miscarry for a few weeks, without knowing :( Which now makes me really stressed about this time, and I STILL can't switch my stupid brain off. I'm about 6.5 weeks now and still no real symptoms, just cramps and sore boobs/nips.

off to GP on Mon to see what I need to do with my thyroxine now I'm pg. ill what have they done with yours? TSH needs to be less than 2 right?

sock enjoy the cheese!!! where are you going?

Sorry for above whinge! Must do PMAs instead.... Today i am pregnant (thanks just )

I just found out through Dr Google that I can POAS from day 6 after transfer (my clinic says day 16).... !!!!!!!!! Oh what to do???? who am I trying to kid I am going to be pissing like a trouper

sock I LOVE fondue... Very jealous of your hols! Take care of socklet.

corgi sounds like you need a break or at least something to distract you from the worry. So in the spirit of do as I say, not as I do why not try some meditation or hypnosis or yoga nidra (yogic sleep) which is very relaxing - I can recommend some tracks if you want.

chat deep breaths and fx for you too

Sock enjoy all the cheese.

Chat yay do you have any frer for tomorrow?

Canters when I got my first line I tested an opk out of curiosity and it was positive.

Corgi when I got pregnant the first time my RE told me to keep taking it. Yes below 2 is the recommended for ttc and pregnancy though the nhs aren't as hot on it as the US from what I've heard. When I take it properly - with water and then an hour before I eat - my levels go from 4.5 to 0.35. So he wasn't worried about increasing my amounts. Actually sent me a message congratulating me for taking my tablets properly I will ask at my scan on Wednesday to make sure.