Advice Wanted! Home insemination crisis!

[SweetFudge]

My husband and I are trying to conceive again and are going down the DIY route. We've got a donor and he's been screened for STDs,etc and has passed with flying colours.

We're all set but I can't find proper info on the web about

1]Whether it is crucial to use a sterile jar

2]Whether the jar needs to be stored in a flask till it reaches me. I am worried about the sperm cooking in a flask since the weather has turned so much warmer now.

3]Whether I need to have the sperm injected within a hour at most.

Our problem is that the donor lives about an half hour's drive away and my husband has to drive over to collect the sperm and then come home with it. That means the donor's sperm is outside of its natural environment for about an hour before it reaches us.

Is that too late and does anyone know if the sperm will be of no use by then? Any advice from members who've done self-insemination will be highly appreciated.

Hi Rolymoly, sorry about not replying sooner. My sister's wedding is this next weekend and I have been busy playing host/housing various relatives in the last week.

The donor (X) is dh's best friend from when they were kids. We kind of asked a number of friends including X over a period of a week and asked them to go away and think about it for two months at the very least. A month later, two other blokes besides X said yes but we were v. happy that X said yes (He told dh that he wouldn't have done it if it was anyone else but dh. They had a moment of nearly losing their cool and hugging, says dh.) Men. why are they so repsressed? I'd have hugged and screamed in pure delight.

Why choose this donor? Because we respect him and who he is. He will do this for us because he wants dh and I to be happy. Sounds simplistic but we went through months of talking through this with him and presenting the various legal consequences of taking the home insemination route ie. donor will be the legal father and can in future, successfully bring a claim for parental contact or we could sue him for financial support. (Recent case law in the uk has set precedent for this.)

It took a while for it to sink in that he did realise all this and was still fine about going ahead. We've drawn up a known donor contract and he was keen to ensure that he'd have absolutely no legal responsibility for the children eg. he was quite worried about who the child(ren)'s legal guardians would be if dh and I copped it. We provided for it in the contract and my sister and her partner will be guardians.

He breathed a sigh of relief and said okay, he'd go down the home insemination route with us.

So we are sure about him. A number of other couples we've met who have used anonymous donor insemination are surprised/amazed that we would want to use a known donor. They feel it would be too much of a complication for the future.

We know it is the harder route. It is also the route we would have wanted our own parents to take if they had been in our situation.

Anyhow, my period is due staring tomorrow and I haven't had any pregnanyc symptoms yet. I think it hasn't worked this month. Each month you convince yourself it hasn't worked and yet when it doesn't, you sorta feel sad and angry all over again. It never seems to get any easier.

Well. What about you, rolymoly? What's your story re. you and dp's donor? hope you have a good weekend.

have just read this thread and would like to wish you all the luck in the world. will keep my fingers crossed for you x x

Thank you for your lovely message,carlyb! Period hasn't shown up yet. Two days late. Fingers crossed.

Best of luck SweetFudge.

Fingers crossed, SweetFudge.

Sweetfudge - I've just read this thread too and am keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Sweetfudge, just read through your thread, and wanted to say good luck!

Me too, sweetfudge - I love your attitude and really really hope this works for you.

thinking of you good luck

Just seen this. Any news yet? Wishing you all the luck in the world.

Sweetfudge - Been following this with baited breath! TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST!

Please test and put us out of our misery. Been following this thread since day dot. Fingers, toes, eyes and legs crossed for you

Go on SweetFudge test, just for us.... everythings crossed

Good Luck SweetFudge!

Only just seen this, and it has already got me hooked! Hope you get your wish this month SweetFudge
xx

I love all these conversations between sweetfudge and toothache - how much more opposite can two names be?

Good luck with your TTC!

lol Janstar!! Hadn't thought of that.

Sweetfudge - Are you here???????

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SWEET FUDGE! Everyone is waiting. I hope it's good news.

Any news??

Sweet Fudge, where are you ????

She must know one way or the other by now coz she was 2 days late last Tuesday! Must've been bad news. Hope I'm wrong though!

Aggghhhh what are you doing to us Sweetfudge?

has anyone tried to get her through the contact talker facility?

Good Idea Busybee123... I'll do that just now.