Advice Wanted! Home insemination crisis!

[SweetFudge]

My husband and I are trying to conceive again and are going down the DIY route. We've got a donor and he's been screened for STDs,etc and has passed with flying colours.

We're all set but I can't find proper info on the web about

1]Whether it is crucial to use a sterile jar

2]Whether the jar needs to be stored in a flask till it reaches me. I am worried about the sperm cooking in a flask since the weather has turned so much warmer now.

3]Whether I need to have the sperm injected within a hour at most.

Our problem is that the donor lives about an half hour's drive away and my husband has to drive over to collect the sperm and then come home with it. That means the donor's sperm is outside of its natural environment for about an hour before it reaches us.

Is that too late and does anyone know if the sperm will be of no use by then? Any advice from members who've done self-insemination will be highly appreciated.

Just read this thread. You are so brave, sweetfudge. Your hubby and his friend sound like great guys. Keeping everything crossed for you!

Hello everyone,

I'm soooooooo sorry about not getting in touch sooner- I've only just checked my e-mail and toothache has been trying to get in touch via e-mail. I don't know how to reply to the getting in touch thing, toothache, so am replying through a post on the mumsnet website. Can you tell me if this is the right?

Thank you, toothache and all you wonderful mumsnetters who have posted.

I've just got back from Wales-Have been away since I last posted as it was sis's big wedding and I have been running around getting things done in Wales.

It has failed for this month. My period was three days late. Dh and I couldn't resist testing even though we promised ourselves we'd wait for a week after af was due. Can you believe that we tested on both Clearblue sticks since I refused to accept that the negative test was correct? The power of self-denial.

We were so convinced that it had worked this month. All that zooming around London at top speeds in the car clutching those precious jars of sperm to me bosoms, the frantic inseminations, me yelling instructions to dh from my end and him concentrating like mad from the other.

I hid the negative results under some tissues in the bin. Couldn't bear to look at them every time I was in the bathroom. Dh and I looked at each other when the results showed -ve and we couldn't really hug. We are very close and this has only made us closer. But the moments of failure are too raw for touching or hugging. Tears would come too easy for me and it would not help us.

I have faith in this, what we are doing. I know it can work. We'll try again this month and dh is going to work out how much time we can shave off our current time when we do the pick-up.

I want you all to know how much your friendship, support and your caring means to me on this journey. Thank you so very much, each and every one of you special mumsnetters. I hope I can be give you as much when you need the ear of a friend.

Many hugs,xxx Sweetfudge.

oh sweetfudge i am so sorry it wasn't your month. Thank you for letting us know....we have all been thinking of you, and will still be. Good luck and lots of babydust for this month x x x

Sweetfudge - Don't worry about doing both tests, I did 8 this time!!
So sorry it hasn't worked, but I'm glad you're still being positive and realistic about it and not letting the disappointment beat you. You're hubby does sound wonderful.

Thanks for taking the time to let us all know how you are and we will all be here (virtually) all the way!!

Good luck this month....

So sorry to hear Sweetfudge, I too had convinced myself you had fallen! Such a shame. But we'll get there one day, hopefully all of us.
Nice wedding?

Awww, sweetfudge, I'm sorry too - you both sound so brave and philosophical - lots of luck for the next go anyway

Sorry it wasn't your month this time sweetfudge

SweetFudge, sorry to hear it wasn't your month. Best of luck next time.

So sorry, Sweetfudge.

Hi Sweetfudge. I've been on holiday and just got back, which is why I didn't reply earlier. I'm really sorry it didn't work this month. I'm crossing my fingers for you for next time round. It is so hard when it doesn't work, isn't it? Such a roller-coaster.

You must be nearly ready to try again--or maybe you already have. Lots of luck.

Your donor sounds like a fantastic and generous man and you all sound really smart and sensible about the situation. We also did a fair bit of talking before starting to try and I think it helped a lot. It's a very emotionally complicated relationship for everyone, I think. To cut a long story short, our original donor was (is) my oldest male friend, and the donor for our second child is his partner. We always intended that the child(ren) would know who their biological father was, but imagined initially that the relationship would be more like an uncle. In fact, the donors have become very involved parents--dd1 refers to them as 'daddy' (and dd2 will as well when she's old enough to talk ), the children have a room at the daddies' house, and they have moved halfway across the country to be close to her and dd2.

could anybody say where they found their doners? did they know them before? my friend is desparate to find one but doesn't know how?
Jill