We're Still Gathered Round the Sacred Womble Conker for a Legendary BFP. Bring your Fur Babies, and Pray for Merely a Hint of Menses, it's Just Shagging (with science, sometimes) 55!

[ChatEnOeuf]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a <strong>Kitten</strong> = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 54 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2474456-The-commune-is-gathering-for-a-sacred-BFP-We-are-worshipping-our-womble-conkers-and-admiring-penis-statues-but-were-still-remembering-to-jump-our-miroids-at-every-opportunity-Its-Just-Shagging-54" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2472977-Its-sneeze-births-galore-thanks-to-our-fanny-stretchers-Were-soaking-in-piss-and-praying-for-Bats-hospital-bag-Were-avoiding-our-mens-Annie-Sloaners-and-eating-all-the-cake-Its-JS-Gras-39?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2460633-Just-Mumming-8-the-one-with-the-fire-crawlers-wind-machines-and-the-Health-Visitor-revolt" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-website-s-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-10/iu-iss100515.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

The bitch has well and truly arrived.

I hate everyone and everything today. One good thing - it's Friday.

I think the witch might be here! 73 days this time, but this is possibly the most excited I've ever been to have a period as it means we can start the Clomid!

Of course, with maximum convenience, I am doing nights this weekend, which completely screws up the "take the Clomid at night to minimise the side effects" idea. Should I take it in the mornings when I go to sleep (but will then be abnormal when I return to daytimes on Monday) or take it in the evenings and try to ride out the SEs while working Sat/Sun night, but then be ok for the rest of the week?

Welcome runner!

I've just bought a FRER for fmu tomorrow. Fack it. Feels like I'm trying fate though so made sure I was well stocked up on sanpro too

Nearly choked at the price though...!

I feel like I did with other pregnancies, but then that's of no real significance as I feel upduffed every month.

Will be 11dpo tomorrow by my reckoning.

Sorry for all the AF's coming and about to come...

Runner welcome! I hope you get your bfp on your first go

Viroids, despite the well deserved hooyahs I feel very, very pregnant. So much so, I had to do some research as I know its too early for HCG and was worried I was losing my mind !

I came across these seemingly reputable academic journal sources discussing Early Pregnancy Factor which starts being produced basically immediately post conception. Its an immunosuppressant and growth factor essential for embryonic development and some people hypothesize that its responsible for reported pregnancy symptoms pre-implantation in some women who may be more responsive to it.

www.nature.com/icb/journal/v76/n6/full/icb199865a.html
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9196793

Any of our medical viroids familiar with it? It's hard to explain but this entire week in addition to mild nausea, I have a constant feeling that my skin is burning throughout my upper body. That burning feeling is what I most associate with being pregnant and it was that sensation disappearing two days prior to my MC that let me know something wasn't right anymore. I don't think I had it this early last time but man oh man is it strong at the moment! Maybe because I was so recently pregnant my body is reacting to it more aggressively or something this time? Or its time for me to be sectioned?

Well I believe you london. There's a lot of anecdotal evidence to support feelings of pregnancy from day one.

Thanks YBS!

I really hope I'm not losing the plot

London Wow, you are fueling my crazees and I like it! Prods boobs and feels sure 4 days po I MUST be pregnant!

Hope you are, gx for you!

Hello Runner. I hear you are more fertile immediately after coming off the pill! (Don't know if that's true, my doctor told me and said it was anecdotal but lots of people reported that happening.)

Hooyahs all round viroids. Stop the crazy right now.

Ooh hurrah runner don thy cape!

Okay, no more crazy talk.

Anyone up to much this weekend? We are seeing a play tonight and then spending the weekend at our friend's house in Surrey.

Fx you're right peanut I have all the patients of a five year old once I decide to do something lol

I don't think much cape donning will be required Just as OH is more than happy to have an excuse to jump me every five minutes

Flying visit...too busy to see straight.

Runner - excellent! Don that cape!

London - h-HCG is secreted earlier than regular HCG...and DD knew I was pregnant before I did. Don't know how scientific any of that is, though!

Sock - eek! Exciting. I'd take it at night and ride the side-effects. I'm presuming they will be worse later in the week? Ill may have some view on that.

Kez

YB GX!

Whoever asked...Ill is in the US I think, hence the $$ for treatment.

That was me who asked! I didn't realise our fred was so international!

Thanks Chat for fueling my crazies!

Cori - gotcha, that's good that you have 6 months of it before the iui.

London - as Chat said I live in California so it's all private insurance here. My insurance covers iui up to 50% but doesn't cover Ivf unfortunately so it tends to be expensive. Would be cheaper to fly back to the uk and have it done privately than have it here but due to my green card I have to be careful how much time I spend outside of America.

Kez - sorry the witch got you.

Sock - my side effects tend to be worse the third and onward day so you might be fine taking it in the evening so that you last few days are before bed.

Ill, that's tough. I'm an American expat in London married to a Brit.

Would it be cheaper to get IVF in Canada? Canada tends to be the first place American's go for cheaper medical procedures! Gx you won't need it and your current treatment gets you a baby!

London I'm 39 and my dp is 32
The first pill of the first cycle of Clomid I took (during the day) was the worst for me actually horrendous took them at night after that which was better the side effects have lessened as I have gone along I also do nights quite regularly and take it before I go to bed if that's at night or in the day!

Getting a few AF type feelings

I really think that something's not right in there. After my first EMCS I had a lot of scarring and adhesions when they did number 2, and with me getting pains on and off all month I really think there's something not quite right.

How would I find out?

Ps still going to do a FRER in a bit. May as well just piss on a fiver for all the good it'll do me though.

Hey viroids. It's been crazy busy at work this week so I've just cola ugly up on the thread.

Boo to the witch, sorry to all she has visited so far this month...

Someone asked if I was a teacher- i am. Currently teaching year 2 in a very difficult and demanding school and not loving it! Our intake is very vulnerable though so as much as I would jump ship now, I can't bring myself to do it to the kids. I'm going to stick out the school year if it kills me!

So, I'm now on cd 24, no idea how many dpo as I'm not sure when I iced. Starting to feel af type symptoms building up, but my cycle can be anything from 23/4 days to 31. I'm trying not to imagine symptoms as it would be waaaay to early, but my boobs feel huge! Need a hooyah!

Cola ugly

HOOYAH! kate

Just done a FRER. Bfn.

I don't mean to be all melodramatic, but I really think that I'll never have another. I've got 2 beautiful children already and I should just be grateful but intuition is just telling me that it's not going to happen.

Ho hum.

My writings all over the shop sorry.

I always wanted a big family and I just feel like I'm not going to have it now. It's so stupid to be thinking like this I know. I complained so much during my last pregnancy, which was really difficult, but now I feel awful for it.

yb I'm sorry I don't have any real advice.

Hello to the couple of newbies that I think have snuck in.

I'm really tired, so going to try to sleep, but just wanted to show my ugly face as haven't been online in a while.

IT'S HALF TERM!!! I so need the break.

yb it will happen, you are testing too early so gentle hooyah and a cuddle. Keep the faith.

ain! Half term, hurrah! I so need the rest, going to completely veg on Monday!