We're peeing over pineapples because we ran out of sticks, but staring at lines is how we get our kicks! Fred 50 was lucky with 6 BFPs, and lots of grads are about to do babies! We are Just Shaggin 51

[lildottie]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 50 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2412816-There-was-a-viroid-named-Just-who-was-all-wanton-and-lust-But-her-fanjos-a-numpty-so-she-named-it-country-and-they-have-a-skittletits-bust-Its-JSing-50?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2415398-Breathing-through-the-scanxiety-putting-all-our-faith-in-Jill-and-fantasising-about-illicit-paddling-pools-and-fanjo-fans-its-JS-grads-thread-32" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2415890-Just-Mumming-Viroids-6-some-of-us-have-time-for-JSing-some-dont-but-were-all-grad-grads" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2358940-The-title-of-those-conception-threads-rein-it-in-their-please-ladies?" target="_blank">HERE</a> and <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2358940-The-title-of-those-conception-threads-rein-it-in-their-please-ladies?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="//docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

hhhhmmmmm, intrigued as to what tink does for a living too........

welcome dog

Watched latest OBEM last night - I cannot believe how strong that young couple were. Especially as they looked like they had no/little family support.

Hope your shoulder is better soon 5hell - I ripped a tendon a few years ago, and have flare ups every so often. Not nice. Keep up with the exercises recommended by the physio - they really help. I do them about every 15 mins or more when shoulder is really bad.

I have resigned myself to getting no jizz this weekend - DH are both a little germy (I have a slight cold, he of course has man flu). Will of course be happy if we dtd, but I am not expecting it, therefore I won't be pee'd off when DH falls asleep early.

Not quite sure where I am in my cycle, and trying not to think too much about it. I have ff if I really wanted to check. But right now I am trying to focus on promotion stuff at work. I would really like the promotion, but at the same time I am hoping that it invokes law of sod, and as soon as the actual job is advertised I get a BFP!!

Dropping by to say hello.

Spotting stopped and no other signs of AF coming. I'm on day 61, still shagging though. POE (peeing on everything!), someone tell me off! I've possible peed through about 20 IC, 15 OPKs and 4 FRER.

Just been feeling pretty rubbish past few days. I'm feeling a bit sick of the TTC stuff, especially when things aren't moving. I think I could deal with the disappointment if I knew the next month would be a new start and a new try, but it's just never ending so I'm forever stuck in this cycle. I'm trying to think optimistic, but I'm not being very successful. Currently coming down with some sort of illness too. Had acheyness and a scratchy throat yesterday, and now I'm feverish and struggling between exhaustion and being unable to sleep. It's a 3 day weekend for me, and sods law that it looks like I'll be unwell for it.

Love watching OBEM!

Welcome dog! Feels like we haven't had many newbies.

Did Frak ever come back and post?

Are we about in the same boat sock? I'm waiting for a referral for gyne for lack of AF and problem periods. Congrats on the new house!

Jelly - I'm in the U.S.

Chat - insurance doesn't cover ivf at all but covers iui at 50% so that's about $500 a shot when using Clomid. We're lucky as most insurances in our state don't cover infertility at all.

I work for a food service provider (deliberately vague as don't want to out self) I start nutrition training this year

fluffy oof, that doesn't sound like the greatest week of your life. Hope you feel better soon. Plenty of rest Stop pissing on things though, you are driving yourself round the bend.

Congrats on the house sock you moving far?

blackcat great! I've done 7 days now so you're a week ahead but my motivation is an fc app on September 1st. I want to be able to say "I don't drink, smoke, drink caffeine, eat meat, etc"
Thank you, it'll be great to have the support

tink I'm intrigued, we are carnivores, why is eating meat a bad thing in your book?

ill if u need ivf I reckon ud be better off coming and stating here for a few weeks to do it!!

*staying

lil we're omnivores, not carnivores!

Feel like I'm gonna regret saying that, cause you're a doctor and you probably know better than me lil

Lots of red meat isn't good for fertility. Something like adding one red meat meal per week can be associated with a 35% risk of infertility. It's also horrible for endometriosis.

I have IBS which makes meat a no no for me really anyway. I'll have a steak or a burger every couple of weeks but don't eat lamb and pork anyway as I don't like it. I also gave up chicken 3/4 months ago because I'm not comfortable with welfare standards in this country. Also chickens are given so many artificial hormones that I figured if I'm not going to miss it then why add that to my hormone mix anyway. (I don't miss it, makes me gag now).

I was veggie for 10 years until 10 years ago and have always been fussy with meat so it's no big deal to me. Any beef I do eat is grass fed, organic and locally sourced. I'm not strict though, had a sausage at a bbq the other week!

pretzel you're such a smart arse , but I'm not a Dr, I'm an accountant/tax advisor!

I knew eating too much red meat was bad for fertility tink but we eat 1-2 portions a week which I think is OK. and I generally buy organic chicken for the reasons you mention. in fact all our meat is organic as much as possible since ttc. I could never be veggie though. I loves me a bit of meat

Tink - that's so interesting, my reproductive endocrinologist didn't ask me much about my diet apart from do you exercise. I said I try to but it doesn't always happen and the same for eating healthy. Bmi is 27.6 but I am 5ft1 so don't look too over weight.

I have to admit I am looking forward to my holiday next week partly due to the Kobe wagyu beef steak we are having. We had it for our wedding meal and we are going back to the same place. It literally melts in your mouth, has ruined all other steak for us. Pricey though at $120

lil - yeah that's what I am thinking but it would be better to do that after. Have citizenship so staying out of the country doesn't risk my green card being revoked.

lil Oh yes you're an accountant silly me! Was getting muddled up with chat cause we were discussing her work weren't we.
Sniggering at I likes me a bit of meat.

Is the thread broken? It's been stuck on 666 posts for ages - did the devil get it??

Two year weddings anniversary! I got £100 whistles voucher.... DH got....a card I got my cotton/paper anniversaries muddled up and now feeling rather guilty.

Also guilty that I've gained a fair bit of chub recently and want to be able to get my usual size dress with my voucher and probably won't be able to!

Gah!!!!

Aw Feathered that's lovely of him! Can you do something for him later? Or get him a little surprise? We don't normally do the themed celebrations but this year is our 3rd anniversary and it's leather so thinking of changing that

Oh and Happy Anniversary! How rude of me

Happy anniversary Feathered - DH only got a card this year, I had to Google what nine years was

Happy anniversary feathered!

Finally booked holiday! On our own in a little cottage in the Sierra Nevada with it's own pool. Can't bloody wait for next week! Af due Tuesday/Weds and for the first time I don't think I'll be gutted when she comes, I want to drink all the wine on holiday!

Great LOS there too though just

Happy anniversary feathered?

You got any symptoms just? I got nothing. Not even a sore boob if I poke one. how very boring. Although just realised I've not taken any vits or folic acid for at least three weeks. How does a person forget something for that long?

I've still got sore boobs but they tend to go around 12dpo so expect them to go tomorrow. I do keep throwing up in my mouth a bit but think that's a hangover from being ill this week! The only "symptom" I have is scary vivid dreams which I never ever get so I'm either pregnant or going mad! Either equally likely.

I find if I miss a day of taking vits I'm just as likely to miss a week, get out of habit I suppose.

BREAKING NEWS! Ian McShane to guest star on Game of Thrones. This is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill!

I read it on the internet it must be true

As you were.