We're peeing over pineapples because we ran out of sticks, but staring at lines is how we get our kicks! Fred 50 was lucky with 6 BFPs, and lots of grads are about to do babies! We are Just Shaggin 51

[lildottie]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 50 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2412816-There-was-a-viroid-named-Just-who-was-all-wanton-and-lust-But-her-fanjos-a-numpty-so-she-named-it-country-and-they-have-a-skittletits-bust-Its-JSing-50?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2415398-Breathing-through-the-scanxiety-putting-all-our-faith-in-Jill-and-fantasising-about-illicit-paddling-pools-and-fanjo-fans-its-JS-grads-thread-32" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2415890-Just-Mumming-Viroids-6-some-of-us-have-time-for-JSing-some-dont-but-were-all-grad-grads" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2358940-The-title-of-those-conception-threads-rein-it-in-their-please-ladies?" target="_blank">HERE</a> and <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2358940-The-title-of-those-conception-threads-rein-it-in-their-please-ladies?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="//docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Hi ladies,

I've been lurking around these parts for a while but DH has just agreed that we can start trying now so thought it might be a good time to jump on board I'm trying to avoid all the temping and stuff because quite frankly I'm neurotic enough already!!!

I cant miss OBEM just...I think my growing interest in watching it was a reflection of my readiness to ttc. This weeks episode was so sad - the young couple handled their loss so well, i hope they had lots of support and will be able to try again when they're ready. They seemed very mature for 19.

nfmv: none
nfms (shoulder): more sore again today, heat pack on, paracetamol consumed (must say do find it ironic that a known hepatotoxin is the one painkiller we're free to take in preganacy )

Morning viroids

Welcome dog you've come to the right place!

5hell what is wrong with your shoulder? Hope you've had it looked at.

5hell obviously I don't want to worry you or anything, but if you have shoulder pain this early in pg you really need to get it checked out, it can be a sign of an eptopic pg. Of course they are super super rare, and if it's something you've had for ages then ignore me, but might be worth a gp app?

Welcome dog, get shagging

thanks for your concern jel ...dont worry it was the first thing that crossed my mind when stuck in bed, but then i calmed down and remembered I've had this exact thing about 5 years ago. I hold all my tension in my right upper back, use a mouse too much, drive too much, and dont have enough massages! Went to physio and she confirmed muscular/spinal stiffness. have excerises to do, heat packs and repeat appintment, but neurofen is what i really want!

i'll be calling the epu later anyway to see if they will scan me early so I can relax a tiny bit and believe I am pg (gx)

hi dog ...good sensible attitude, there is some crazy here but we keep eachother in check ;) good luck and welcome!

Welcome Dog!

Ouch Ill does insurance cover much of that? You're in the US IIRC?

Hope the shoulder improves 5hell. I put mine out years ago through gymnastics - it now always plays up in pregnancy.

Glad you're on the mend Tink, hope MrTink sorts your laxatives out.

Watched last week's OBEM but not this one...yet..

Laxatives sorted - we have lift off! Just need to shift this bug and I'm good!

What are people's thoughts on a dry August? Is it totally the wrong month with balmy summer evenings, bbq's etc? (I have no more weddings this year). I can't keep getting ill so am thinking of detoxing. I don't drink caffeine anyway, don't eat red meat more than once per fortnight. Don't eat white meat at all. I am a sugar fiend though and wine accounts for a lot of that, wibu to think that not drinking in August and generally going on a healthkick would be fine? Or is it better to wait til autumn?

chat I watched this weeks obem at about 2am as I couldn't sleep and it broke my heart. I'm in awe that you do that as an actual job. I wept and wept.

Chat are you a midwife?

Tink - glad you're feeling better and have a poo on the horizon!

Dry August. Why? Do you think you drink too much? I don't think a health kick is going to do you any harm and cutting down on sugar is always a good idea (I'm also a sugar maniac) but cutting down rather than completely eliminating might be a gentler way to do it. You'll avoid beating yourself up if you do end up having a glass of wine or a piece of pudding.

That said, I seriously need to reduce my sugar intake and lose the 5lbs that have crept on. Low-carb is my fail safe....but....it's just so joyless!!!

Tink I'm attempting a drier August. I don't think I could manage a completely dry month as we have stuff planned, but I'm also going on a bit of a health kick and trying to get to the gym more etc.

Probably too much for ttc feathered I can polish off 2 bottles a week. I've cut down before and obvs drink less in the twot but being an all or nothing type I think it would be good to put a month aside to be healthier. Dry January works great as its January but August? I'm going to see. I won't be drinking for the foreseeable anyway what with being ill and all so am wondering if I just might carry it on.

Sounds good Tink - give it a go whilst you're still not feeling up to drinking and it will be easier than starting a fresh.

If you wanted to get more fresh fruit/veggies in you, I really cannot recommend this blender enough:

www.amazon.co.uk/Breville-Blend-Active-Personal-Blender-0-6/dp/B00DGLUW4E

I have a magimix, but the blendactive is so much more practical for a quick smoothie in the mornings. I use it every day - just plonk in a banana, chia seeds, some ice, milk and a tea spoon of honey - whizz it up - put the lid on and I'm out the door.

I also make an awesome green juice with it too with celery, apple, kiwi, ginger, spinach and lemon (although I use my magimix to extract the apply and celery juice first - then just use my blendactive for the kiwi, lemon, spinach and ginger).

Dumb questions alert:

I got a high fertility on Monday and a peak fertility on Tuesday using my ClearBlue Fertility Monitor.

I did the deed on Monday and Tuesday, but haven't done it since (due to cystitis and DH working late). I didn't do it before either.

I know it's a long shot to get a BFP so soon after my MC (which seemed to go on forever) but that aside, am I shagging at the right time?

Thanks feathered my diet's generally good (it's kind of my job) I just let myself down with wine (specifically rose, I don't drink white or red) chocolate and cake (Also crisps at the moment).

Your smoothie sounds very similar to my breakfast. I go for Greek yoghurt with sliced banana or strawberries, seeds and honey. Although I don't blend it. I don't have a juicer, I've had one in the past but didn't use it. Those juices sound yum though. I love anything with ginger.

You have timed those shags brilliantly. You stand as good a chance as anyone else. Gx for you

You have timed those shags perfectly

Swells with pride

I'm intrigued as to what everyone does for a living now.

But not as intrigued as the women on the AIBU forum who keep asking what people do/what they earn/who they voted for.

They're intrigued on a whole other level.

Welcome Dog !

No, Feathered - I'm a doc, not working right now but normally found on NICU.

Wow, Chat.

^ and what Tink said.

Ill ouch! $20k is alot. I think I'm lucky with the cost in my area (ignoring the whole not getting 3 funded cycles like other areas thing).

tink you will find a reason not to do it in any month, so just do it.

Welcome dog and good luck, enjoy the shagging

tink I've been dry for 14 days now, I'll join you for august if you want a buddy.

Nfmv: none
Nfmt: (tits) very sore

Cd24 and so relaxed accepting that it will never happen I thought it was only about cd20 til I checked

I'm currently away working for a few days, when I say away I am actually in a hotel 13 miles from where I live so not really away but also not at home enjoying a Friday night

Thanks My We had a freebie month last month before officially trying and I think DH thought all his Christmases had come at once! Let's just hope he's got the stamina to keep it up because my cycles are all out of whack so might have to be an eod job

I don't usually watch OBEM any more, not because it's emotionally hard, but because I get annoyed about how certain things are portrayed. And it's usually on around dinner time, and DH can't watch icky stuff while eating. I do sometimes play "Guess who's getting a section?" though

Got a call from the GP to say he's got all our test results in and will be referring us to the fertility clinic. Only slight problem is that I'm moving house next week, and I'm worried that the rules will be different in the new county. I still want to be seen at my current hospital though, so am hoping that Royal Mail redirect will buy us enough time to get into the system...

NFMV: CD63, no sign of anything. Had a few just-for-fun shags this week though, (it turns out my whooping DH's arse at University Challenge is a turn-on) and we'll have a new house to christen soon...