We're peeing over pineapples because we ran out of sticks, but staring at lines is how we get our kicks! Fred 50 was lucky with 6 BFPs, and lots of grads are about to do babies! We are Just Shaggin 51

[lildottie]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 50 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2412816-There-was-a-viroid-named-Just-who-was-all-wanton-and-lust-But-her-fanjos-a-numpty-so-she-named-it-country-and-they-have-a-skittletits-bust-Its-JSing-50?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2415398-Breathing-through-the-scanxiety-putting-all-our-faith-in-Jill-and-fantasising-about-illicit-paddling-pools-and-fanjo-fans-its-JS-grads-thread-32" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2415890-Just-Mumming-Viroids-6-some-of-us-have-time-for-JSing-some-dont-but-were-all-grad-grads" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2358940-The-title-of-those-conception-threads-rein-it-in-their-please-ladies?" target="_blank">HERE</a> and <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2358940-The-title-of-those-conception-threads-rein-it-in-their-please-ladies?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="//docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

sounds like some kind of flu to me tink. take it easy. I think you are going to have to just ride it out. sleep as much as you can and dose up on paracetamol I think but I'm no Dr!

oh yeah Ill tink is right, when does your cycle start? mine starts 25/8 but it will be a long one as I don't start stimms until 9/9 and won't get harvested until 21/9.

have sent dh to get my meds from hospital as he is out that way this morning....could be interesting!

I should probably get out of bed and do some work!

Yes Tink, paracetamol for the fever. You may feel reacold but you probably have a temperature. Lots of fluids too.

Poor tink. Stay in bed, take paracetamol and drink lots of water. Can't be helped with work.

God I'm so hormonal, I'm a weepy shrieky mess. Poor dp. Everyone is pissing me off at the moment!

Welp. Just in work now after the doc's, he's not really concerned about the elevated prolactin (it was high but still below 1,000) but more interested in the fact that the FSH to LH ratio was in the "probably has PCOS" range. He wants to me to get an ultrasound and then possibly refer me afterwards to a reproductive endocrinologist.

just and being slowly slid in your direction.

tri plenty of ppl with pcos go on to have babies so don't worry, at least they are doing something and when you get referred you can speak to the specialist about the prolactin.

so dh just phoned. the pharmacy didn't take payment for the drugs, just gave them to him! so he's a drug thief! I imagine I'll be getting a phone call from the clinic in the next few days!

maybe they're on special offer lil?

joining in the misery (though I'm no where near as poorly as poor tink)...woke in night with semi-paralysing back/shoulder pain - actually had to get dh to help me out of bed, having laid stuck on my back for about 2h :(
been to physio so is now better in someways, more sore in others! apparently i'm just super stiff in the upper back (despite 15 years of yoga), and hold all my tension there, and we think last nights yoga may have aggravated it.

woe is me essay over :(

Ouch 5hell!

tri lil is right, at least you can make an appropriate plan if that is the case.

lil ooh a drug thief, will you have to go on the run? Thanks for and , may have to have at least one of those in real life now!

I have realised I always feel ill a week before my period, what is that? Is it all in my mind? Maybe progesterone is not my friend!

tink you poor bugger, I hope you get well soon.

So who has BFP now and due for march? I can't keep up!

Good day so far - no poo incidents but not been for a run yet!

DH has just had his sperm test results, didn't get numbers but he was told that everything is ok. We now have a doctors appointment for Monday to complete the paper work for a referral as we meet the criteria. Glad there is nothing wrong with either of us, and every reason to keep on shagging. Feel like at least we are moving in the right direction.

Hopefully we can get upduffed through our own efforts before we get help

I hope everything has gone ok today Fluffy - I can't believe you're on day 56??? Hope you got some answers.

Lil - score on the drugs. Nice.

Tink - paracetamol, water and bed. Poor you!

It's taken me since April when I first joined the Fred, but I've finally come round to more just shagging and less mad conception timing. I hadn't realised how badly on demand shagging was impacting on DH. Turns out he is an absolute wreck over knowing he has to deliver the goods over my fertile period. Never ever an issue usually, but apparently the psychology of knowing he has to give me the jizzle has been too much.

I feel a bit bad. I didn't realise he'd get anxious about it.

Probably doesn't help he has been at work until 11pm both nights this week (14 hour days!) whilst thinking he has to come home and get a wiggle on.

I did in fact get the jizz last night but have vowed to be more chilled about it (and not tell him when I'm peak fertility to take the pressure off).

Only got two shags in this fertile period.

one spermatozoa is all it takes feathered gx
for your DH

Onto day 57, and got dark discharge and light cramping! Woo! I said this about 20-odd days ago, but I think AF may be making an appearance soon.

I attended my GP appointment, and I got a gyne referral. Is that good or bad? No bloods taken, just said that he will complete a referral but hopes I will be able to cancel it due to getting pregnant. He expects it might be a bit of a wait though.

Hope you feel better Tink!

You have to pay for your meds lil?!

I've used my one NHS cycle fluffy so this time we have to pay for the ivf. £2850 for the ivf, £550 extra if we have to have icsi, about £400 for the drugs, if we have to pay for them. only paid for bcp prescription NHS charge last time and the oestrogen I had to have that was extra prescription to usual ivf meds.
glad you have a referral. that's good news. gps know very little about fertility and if there's a wait its a good job you got on the list now. in the meantime gx for AF arriving or preferably a bfp

I just got my kitchen quote...£19k. I have expensive taste!

I've been for a run and didn't shit myself #yay

You only get one nhs ivf cycle?! That is a totally unknown world to me, but I'm shocked!

Wow! £19k kitchen sounds amazing! Top of the range? Mod cons?

Ah glad the referral is good. I actually thought that was maybe getting fobbed off when I left appointment, but I guess leave it to experts in that area. For anyone who did have a referral, how long did you have to wait for first appointment? I know it depends on different areas, but I'm pretty clueless. Could it be a couple months? Couple years? Anything in between that?

Yay congrats on holding your poo blackcat

Referral should be

just you must be round 9dpo. That bits always hard

Excellent work on the drug theft acquisition Mr Lil. Nice. I want to see this £19k kitchen. My kitchen probably cost that much and it's completely not what I would have chosen. I would like a boiling water tap though.

Good news on the gynae referral - hope it invokes the old law of sod - we've not had one of those here for a while have we...? Should be within 18 weeks as Sock says.

Feathered that's the spirit lady. I am too lazy to bother with contraband...just as well, I would never have conceived TinyChat if I had stuck to fertile shagging on demand.

Black

Spontaneous morning jizz today. Newsworthy only because it's the first time in many years that DD has afforded us a lie-in (or a lion as she calls them). A little like what I'd imagine shagging in a public place to be like...the fear of discovery toddler repeating explanations

Hope you're feeling better Tink

I've realised my bcp is not in the drugs Mr lil lifted. goddamit! someone remind me to call clinic tomorrow.

some areas fund the recommended 3 cycles fluffy but not mine. good job we are both doing well with work!

my referral was to fertility clinic not gynae, but was about 4 weeks I think. they got us in quick then we had months of waiting between pointless appointments. I'm sure its the way they get away with saying they have no waiting list in our area. it was 12m from seeing gp to doing first ivf. yeah,no waiting list. though that said we just picked a date for 2nd go.

Morning viroids. Wide awake after another weird and scary dream

lil call the clinic!

Lion, love it! Well done on the morning jizz. Sounds terribly tense not trying to scar her for life and all. for you and mr chat

fluffy cheering your period on! Sounds ridiculously wrong!

Think I'm about 9dpo, definitely feeling the crazy. Thanks for the cake

Lil - yeah twins on both sides of my family so was very upfront about having already come to terms with having multiples so I think he just went with it. Next cycle is due to start 19th of August and should then have insemination between the 30th August to 1st of September. Are you having ivf in the UK? That's so cheap compared to here.

Unfortunately we have realized that's the weekend we are supposed to be moving into our house so we're thinking of needing to delay a month but don't really want to. Would have to drive down to sanfrancisco to have it done on the weekend.

Tink - poor thing, don't worry about work you are ill and they have to let you have the time off.

Morning viroids. Whoever voted flu has got it about right I think. Never had proper flu before, just bad colds. This is something else, seems to be moving from the sweating, shivering phase to the cough, cold, throwing up phase. Joy! (although actually preferable tbh) I can walk today though, so that's good spoke to my boss this morning and he was lovely, I think yesterday's panic was in my fevered foggy head hope you're all ok.

I have read through but can't remember anything except that lil you need to collect birth control, black congratulations on not getting caught short again I've still not been properly, it's been a week and just I think we are cycle buddies or near enough! Although I have no crazy this time, no tiny creature could survive this

Also, just received another fc referral for 1st September. Doesn't say what they want to do, just that we both need to go. I was really hoping to get a lap and dye. Do I ask for this at this app? Or is that a different department? I've asked my GP for a lap and dye and a follow up scan to check the state of my cyst(s) I'm guessing this must be for the lap and dye right? Dh is delighted he might get asked to jizz into a cup again, apparantly they have good porn!

Ill yes I'm in UK and dh wasn't keen to source cheaper options abroad so doing it at same hospital we did our funded round at. I have to confess its not as expensive as I had prepared myself for but still a scary amount of money to part with when there are no guarantee's!

tink hope you feel better soon.

must phone clinic, must phone clinic!

busy day today