O Come all ye Viroids, joyful and triumphant. Deck the halls with Contraband. All I want for Christmas is a BFP! Just Shag all the way (no36)

[Purplecircle]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 35 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

Thanks ladies. Owie owie owie! Poor DH has put me to bed with a pile of drugs and a DVD (Emperors New Groove) and fucked off. I am miserable. At least i can quote along with the movie.

I do love that film!

Hello viroids

I'm popping back off the grads thread to spread some jsing dust around and tell you that I just got back home from yoga and DH told me he'd been outside "lloking for comet Lovejoy". He wasn't even joking! Ian McShane has a comet with the same name as his greatest TV series. My mind is blown.

Keep shagging ladies xxxx

Evening lovelies. Hope you're all feeling better this evening. I'm away from home for 2 nights which is rubbish but stops me from POAS too early and wasting a FRER

I'm now on pant watch, waiting for the witch to turn up as she's often 2 days early

Now on to High School Musical 3, Jelly. Cheestastic.

I really want peanut butter toast. But we only have DHs horrid American peanut butter which is gross. It's not my day!

Hey everyone,

Hope all is going well in JS land. I've got a lot of pages to catch up on, will try to read through them in a bit to see what everyone's been up to!

Eeeek, its all going wrong isn't it, witches and tummy upsets and squished cats

lil I can't believe your friend was so insensitive, esp when she knows about the IVF. AVOID!

Tink I bought myself some chai tea bags a while back, and tried to make my own lattes. I could never get enough flavour out of the bags. Ditto when I came back from India years ago and tried a full-on spices in saucepan experiment. I think the sweet ones you get in Starbucks etc are made from just the syrup rather than anything resembling a tea bag...never tried that myself but I assume just adding syrup to hot milk would get you pretty close?!

town thanks, got the tea pigs bags. They are made from nettles and grass. There is no tea in there!

wiggly howyeh? Miss you man! Off to wish upon the mcshane star!

ain what happened at your app? You ok?

I just made some time to read through all the pages of posts that I've missed, but it's past my bed time so I'm going to reply as quick as possible... sorry if I've missed anything or got the wrong names!

First off congrats mountain a bfp! !! I really hope the little bean sticks. I have my gx for you!

And muddy hope that positive opk is going to lead on to a positive pregnancy test soon.

kez hope your DH can find another job soon. At least he does have a bit of time to look for another job.

honey I believe congrats are in order for weight loss. I'm going to have to track down this losing weight whilst ttc thread you and a few others are talking about.

A bit of talk on knitting and crochet. I can't do either but would love to be able to do both. I can cross stitch, and I love paper crafts and attempting to draw. One of my new years resolutions is to try and do those things more often.

Okay, so my scan was done on Wednesday. Worst thing about the scan itself was having to have a full bladder. Oh my goodness I thought I was going to burst. Especially when I was seen 5 min late! That 5 mins was almost agonising. Lol. I phoned the doctor today to find out my scan results. They didn't tell me at the hospital. The receptionist used the words 'confirmed pcos' and told me that I needed to 'make a routine appointment with my doctor'. As I phoned in the middle of the afternoon though there weren't any free appointments that I could book so I'm going to have to phone in the morning I the hope that some more evening or weekend appointments have been released tomorrow.

I am actually feeling okay about this right now.

Until I do get to see my doctor my next steps are to continue trying to lose weight, including getting my fat arse down the gym tomorrow hopefully for the first time this year... that and trying harder on the reducing carbs front too. And trying my hardest to stay as positive as possible.

Really must go to bed. I've not been sleeping well, damn wind, and work is extremely busy at the min, meaning I am pretty exhausted and it's only Monday! !!

chai tea latte - I have a dolce gusto machine for that. lush! still not as sweet as Costa but I prefer that tbh. you can buy chai latte powder, that comes close to the Costa stuff.
a bit like making hot choc.

ain I was wondering where you'd got to. glad you are feeling OK atm. let us know what the gp says. just keep focussed on what you can do, not what you can't.

Hey ain. Glad the The scan went ok and that you are feeling alright with the diagnosis. Gx for a positive doctors appointment!

I'm really weird with chai latte. Sometimes I love them and other times I hate them. Weird!

I'm very impressed with the Lovejoy comment wiggly :) glad you are doing well at the moment! We will all be joining you soon I'm sure!

purple I'm with you on the pants watch. I've decided if no witch by Friday I'll POAS (That will be CD30). I remember getting bloating and cramps around New Year's Eve which, if it was OV pain, would mean I am on 13DPO today. But still convinced the witch will arrive!

Also got a rotten cold today. Had a blocked nose for a few days and today it's developed into a yucky, icky cough and cold! Yay!!!

I just thought of a poem to describe my current state!

"Oh the time of the month when AF is due,
When each twinge of the minge makes you dash to the loo!"

It's a work in progress. But basically I am in that "limbo" state where each time I feel something downstairs or a cramp in my lower abdomen I rush straight to the toilet to check (stupidly only brought 1 sanitary pad with me to work...idiot!).

How you feeling honey?

I am feeling drugged. In a nice stupor, but can feel it slowly itching away, so need to top it up soon. Must get out of bed and eat something so i can take drugs without damaging my stomach lining. At some point today i need to do a food shop too! Perhaps a mini one for tonight only. Also got Brownies tonight. Argh!

Lovely JellyBard :)

Ain I'm glad at least the scan was confirmatory, hopefully you can get moving on some help too. I love a good cross-stitch too. I do squares for quilts for LoveQuiltsUK, and my current project is for DD's room (aiming to be done when the baby arrives so it's special for her. I'm 1/5 of the way through since Christmas so I should be good!

I can't make a good chai tea latte, I have the teabags which are fine, but a little uninspiring...

Af isn't due for 10 days but I have woken up feeling tired, hormonal and fucking miserable tbh.
Weighed in this morning and I have actually gained. That means I've now hit the dizzy heights of 2 stone weight gain in 2 and a half years. Bought a top from primarni yesterday without trying on and am struggling with what would normally be a size too big now
Dr Google thinks it it the tumour causing this weight gain but cannot get in touch with gp to get medication/chase referral. Also want my thyroid testing.

Thank you for listening - as you were. Just needed a little vent there.

Morning all. Its going to snow today in my part of the country. Eek!

Aww Tink that sucks. Gx you get a doctors app soon!

Gaggia where are you again? I don't think it will ever snow where I am ever again!

gaggia us too!

Hooyah please!!

Boobs feel bigger, nauseous, dizzy, more tired than usual! All of which can explained by either post-xmas weight gain, not getting enough sleep and eating a kebab last night!

Hooyah jelly all symptoms can be explained by a kebab. I have never eaten a kebab as anything that drips fat like that cannot be good for you

if you think you're 14dpo tomorrow will you poas if af hasn't arrived? if it were me i'd probably just want to know either way.... No pressure though - we've been there before

If nothing else at least your cycles are getting longer. Silver Linings and that got everything crossed for you.

Thanks for the hooyahtink! To be fair the kebab I had was a chicken breast one, not the one they carve off the lump of meat, so I feel slightly absolved lol!

I might POAS (IC though) tomorrow if AF comes. What is making me resigned to it being AF though is I feel no different to most other months when AF is due to arrive. I have loads of watery CM which I am sure I normally get, so will wait and see I guess! But if it will appease you viroids, I will POAS tomorrow (I might not even be 14DPO tomorrow, I just know I had the pains and cramps on New Years Eve that would suggest icing, but ofc no positive on the CBFM).

County Durham jelly. Its just started now.

And yes jelly poas!

Got everything crossed for you jelly

Just heard from the practice Secretary that my referral is lost in the system. Therefore they are generating it all over again. No tablets from my doc, just more waiting.
I think I am psychic, I woke up expecting this today. I need to put ttc back on the backburner again for a while I think. It is all a bit fruitless without this treatment and it looks like my next cycle will have been missed too now if not the next few. Should my referral come through I'll then have to be referred for an MRI, so in reality I could be months off still. Will have the occasional lurk to check up on you all. Don't want to miss any bfp' s!

Love and good luck to all, be back soon hopefully.