O Come all ye Viroids, joyful and triumphant. Deck the halls with Contraband. All I want for Christmas is a BFP! Just Shag all the way (no36)

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Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 35 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

Made up for it this morning, so I hope 2.5 day gap doesn't make a lot of difference

Reckon I'm deffo near or just done icing though, so gx

Great that you think you've iced towns

I need to put some laundry in too.

But i can't be arsed.

AF must be on her way. I am so moody today.

Don't mess with me, world!

Its like teenagers. When it's windy you'd think the world was coming to an end!

Need to go to post office to collect a parcel too. Lots of dvds. At least i get to watch a film.

Film sounds good honey hope you are feeling more positive soon! It all gets to us sometimes. I'm feeling extremely bloated today so not in the least bit sexy yet still need to dtd at some point today! Gx I'm feeling more likely it later. The world is windy and I too am very windy which is not helping with the sexiness

lil I'm shaking my pom poms vigorously for you. One day at a time. Your hormones are probably going ballistic at the moment, however that makes you feel is fine. Ttc for a long time can make you very hard nosed and cold about it. I speak from experience. I've been there many times. It passes. The worst mind set for me is feeling desperate and tearfull. At the end of last year I had about 3 months of that as I'm sure you noticed. Feeling like you don't care is a great coping mechanism and will get you through the hard times much better than feeling depressed about it. Well done you. Keep battling on.

honey if I'm honest I defriend anyone pg or with a baby in rl. It's too hard for me. Makes me very down on myself, have you considered limiting time spent with the yummies? You are not fat, barren or a hag. You are a lovely lady trying to get pregnant and that in itself is hard enough without being down on yourself. May I prescribe a hot bath and a new hair do/manicure/sparkly new top. Be kind to yourself. You will get there and it will be all the sweeter when you do!

Monday is kind of d day for me. Still no referral through so I have to call my gp and see if she will write me a prescription. Eek. Next ov is around 1st week in Feb so if I get the tablets next week they should have done the business by the time that comes around. Does this make us fuck you world/science works bitches/at last we did it bfp buddies lil?

Watched Jack the giant slayer last night. Ian mcshane in gold armour. Just saying

On a more positive note I'm just going through a load of pictures and choosing what to print to go in my new frames that I got for Christmas

Great post there tink I can't believe how strong you are and you always seem so positive. Thank you for sharing that with us!

jc if you don't feel like shagging don't shag. Pressure like that will not get thee upduffed. Personally the only time I really feel like it is when I'm icing, hormones and that I guess. Listen to thine body. Try to find the shagging Zen

Oh sorry if that sounded really flouncy I must be getting all sentimental over these pictures

Er..... Carry on as you were!

Thanks tink but I'm the worst jser ever! If I just waited till I wanted to it would be once a month only and I don't think it really correlates with icing.

Ha ha!! X post there!! There are some hormones flying about this Fred today, no?

Thanks JC, nice to know I sound strong mostly don't feel it

JC I didn't feel up for it last night so didn't do it. Simple! I am really bloated though. My nan commented on how flat my belly was on Thursday, today I looked 4 months pregnant I'm so bloated and windy!

I really want to go for a run, but I also reallllllly don't want to lol!

jelly you doing c25k? I start week 2 next, tis good!

For fucks sake, Tink, making me cry. How rude!

Can't really defriend but do feel myself pulling away from them, which is awful cause they are my best friends and it's not their fault. But i do hide people now and then.

There was just an achingly middle class mum and son on James Martin's cooking show. Making chutneys together in their rural idyll cottage and surfing as they simmer on the stove.

yeh c25k Tink. It's really windy and cold out but I want to go!

Sorry honey sending out a viroid hug to you all x

jelly what week are you on? Does it get hard? Doggy loves it, she is great motivation, she spins on her back legs when I get our matching flouro jackets out. (Have to do it in the dark)

it's pretty easy to be honest, but you feel the benefits afterward!

oh i'm on week 2, but i missed a run this week!

Love ya Tink