O Come all ye Viroids, joyful and triumphant. Deck the halls with Contraband. All I want for Christmas is a BFP! Just Shag all the way (no36)

[Purplecircle]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 35 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

Apostrophes, you mean? I have noticed some problems with them in the past.

Jelly I get that this must be so frustrating for you, but this is the learning cycle, it will be so much better next time (if there is a next time!)

I am hungry today. Eating all the foods! Managing to keep my binge to healthy foods though so no worries. Get in ma belleh!

Healthy food is good honey :)

jelly did you do as you were told temp as well as use monitor?

no lie in here jcandy, got to be up for the needle! not a bad thing though as I have tonnes to do.

dot is it really only 2 weeks? I've kind of given up counting. I'm so bored of waiting for this "imagined baby" as I've started referring to this whole charade as! off to count days now though actually thinking about it 1st scan is next week, wow!

Next week?! Oh my gosh, this is very exciting!

I think you lot are more excited than me. I'm so over getting pg I don't know why I'm doing ivf!

Omgomgomfg! Next week lil this is super dooper exciting!!

And no I didn't temp. Oops!

So what is this scan looking for? Healthy womb or something?

Yeah lil I'll be awake at 6 to do my temp but hoping I'll sleep afterwards and if not then at least I don't have to get up You'll be excited when you are actually pregnant. I bet it just doesn't feel that real yet.

scan is to check womb lining thin and ovaries dormant i.e. to check the down regulation drugs I've been taking have switched off my natural cycle. all being well I will start stimulation injections Wednesday evening.

jelly you should have temped to confirm ov alongside the cbfm. cbfm is just one piece of the puzzle. I used cbfm opks and bbt all at the sane time. could pinpoint ov to within a few hours, and therefore AF to within at least morning afternoon or overnight! I actually think my lp was 14.25ish days, that's how much info I got!

I'm sure I will get excited, somewhere after the omg it worked and before the oh fuvk I'll have to get it out when it's cooked, but atm I'm really not bothered about getting pg. I'm bored of it, its taken 2.5yrs of my life, I think I've moved on! obvs I still want a baby but I think if it doesn't happen I won't melt down like I would've done 12m ago. then again maybe this is bad and I'll melt down twice as hard if it doesn't work.

Thanks Lil I will deffo try temping next cycle, I keep forgetting but will make more of an effort next cycle!

I think it's good that you aren't expecting too much, but we are all excited for you. Do you know what the success rates of IVF are?

lil I knew nothing about IVF until I had a friend who went through it but she just shut herself off from the world for 6 months (gave up her job, the lot) - it completely took over her life. We were all so worried about what would happen if it wasn't successful. Fortunately it was but I do admire your attitude and can see where you're coming from.

It's so hard, until you TTC you don't really know if it will happen for you but, for me anyway, as soon as we decided to TTC all I wanted was a baby!

I have all my gingers crossed for you.

jelly about 35% are the chances we've been given.

thanks fleur, I don't think I'd cope if I let it take over. I've only switched off to it all since the injections started. I think not must bevs subconscious self defence thing!

come on viroids we need more bfps!

yes we do! this fred has lasted us far too long!!! what's everyone doing this fine shitty weekend?

We broke our Every Other Day routine last night. DP has been working late for the past few nights, and I really wasn't in the mood (had a nice evening planned etc and he just didn't want to do anything but get in and go on his pc after a long week at work) so I went to bed! Oops!

jelly I wouldn't worry too much. you're bound to be full of jizz! just get back on it soon!

yeah we need to fill this thread to get out of the Christmas vibe and into 2015.

Well.

Today

I'm

Sitting

Around

Feeling

Like a

Fat

Barren

Ahhh Lil so exciting! I'm sure the IVF process must be tough but I love all scienciness behind it. Been watching some YouTube vids about icing - didn't realise the fallopean tube wasn't even connected to the ovary?! The egg pops off and then is scooped up by finger like projections on the tube Weird bodies.

I've just been out on our local ParkRun for the first time, bout 200 people do it. Was really good despite the wind though super muddy.

Hag!