O Come all ye Viroids, joyful and triumphant. Deck the halls with Contraband. All I want for Christmas is a BFP! Just Shag all the way (no36)

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Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 35 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

Hello Viroids. Apologies for long absence... been trying to stay off computer over hols... I have some questions about tracking the witch and icing... Due to a tricky thyroid and a copper iud my ERTOD is often more of a pink/brown trickle for several days before coming into it's own... I've always heard that you start counting the beginning of the cycle from the first day appearance of red... What's the right day? Thanks in advance!

I think you count the first full day of flow sky not spotting. How long does your full AF normally last for?

agree with jelly sky CD1 = first day of full flow, don't think the colour/shade is particularly important

tink no I haven't really thought too much about what I would do if I got a BFP before skiing - as AF will be due on 31st ish I probably wouldn't even test until 2nd or 3rd and I would have been skiing for a couple of days already! The weird thing is that the last 2 years we have skiied one of our friends has found out she is pregnant right before we went each time! One of them is one of the people who knows we are TTC and said that this time it has to be me! Both of them skiied but took it very steady and then got freaked out and stopped halfway through the week. I really don't know what I would do - it would spoil the hol for me quite a lot if I couldn't ski but then if I did and had a bad fall and something went wrong then it would be horrid. But I haven't put much thought into it because I just can't imagine getting a BFP! Not sure if I'd be more upset about missing the ski or the après ski to be honest, both are essentials for a great hol in the snow!

Welcome stoat!

Missing the après ski would def be hard! I must admit, I'm a bit worried about the giving up booze thing. I don't have any issues with it as I'm not a huge drinker but I do like a gin here and there. I haven't told anyone we are ttcing and people are asking me if we are booking a holiday...we aren't booking a) just incase it does happen and b) as a nice consolation if it doesn't. What we really should do is have it happen quickly and go away v v early on so I get the best of everything. Fingers crossed for you!

jelly and lil thanks for your posts! If we are going by full flow 3-4 days but with spotting, cramps etc it's 6-9 days. I think I have a good idea of icing as get spotting and sore breasts and the occasional pant snot... Last two cycles have been 28 days, one before that 33 and before that 25 for like 6 months... Got myself a it worked up I think worrying about it

Evening Ladies, is there room for one more?

Name: Dot
Age: 30
TTC #1 since July 2014

No hints whatsoever of a BFP yet. This year I'm going to try and relaaaaax about the whole thing and JS.

Welcome Dot, I'm glad to see a JSer and no sign of contraband too

Hey Dot hopefully this will be your month!

I've just scared myself silly watching first 2 episodes of season 2 walking dead. Need to calm before sleep. A shag would be good if I didn't think a zombie would get me while I'm distracted.

Welcome Stoat and Dot!

Ga that is truely amazing that your witch is so predictable. Wow.

The stork is slightly scary looking, good luck with that honey

bat, I don't think a bad fall would be any worse if you're 5 weeks pregnant than if you're not, but I know that as soon as I was preggers I started feeling a bit more wobbly/dizzy than usual. So if you do get bfp, but still feel fine, keep skiing, its good fitness.

sky, I agree with jelly and lil, and I have similar with a few days of pink tinge before full flow starts. At least if you start from full flow every time then you will be consistent.

Keep on shagging, shaggers

Welcome dot

I tried townsender I've just put the moves on DH - it's the last day of the optimum window - and he's given me the brush off! How rude!! ;) Ah well, he hadn't had a shave anyway...

Welcome Dot! Lets hope the bfp drought ends soon!

lil I totally agree - need to focus on the things I can change. I am feeling better about it all again today. Not sure what was wrong with me yesterday. I was fine all day, but negativity just sorta came over me yesterday evening. It was my first day back at work (I love my job, but it can be stressful) and I think getting back in to my normal routine was a shock to the system and I was overtired. I know being overtired can be a trigger for negative moods for me...

I got a parcel in the post today. I ordered a couple of new bras online and ordered a babydoll style outfit at the same time. Wore it downstairs. DH soon put his playstation pad down. did think afterwards that I hope my scan tomorrow doesn't end up having to be internal. Do you think they'll be able to see spunk up there if it is? Haha. On my letter it says they only do an internal scan if the transabdominal one can't see what it needs to see. It also says I need to have a very full bladder. I am dreading that part! (who was it on here with the bladder of steel? I could do with that right now. Haha)

Hello dot

Thank you for the welcome! I'm brand new at this posting lark but I'll attempt to keep up.

Bat I think we're in the same boat, due to test around the 2nd and have a ski trip planned late Jan. I'm hoping to tempt the Law of Sod. Also if there is a bean it should only be a tiny cluster of cells at that point so no harm should come to it if/when I fall over.

Law of the sod is a good call. DH offered to replenish my gin but I said to hang fire and that could be my treat when AF arrives. Think Gordon's might see their profits plummet

Welcome dot :) we need some BFP's on this Fred soon.

DP has pissed me off again. But I'm
Off to harry potter world tomorrow so I don't care lol

Evening viroids! Just a quick nip on while I have 5 minutes to say HI!

Manic now we are back at work and trying not to think about ttc too much (keeping my mind busy both at work and trying to lose weight). Hopefully what I keep getting told wills be true "dont think about it and it will happen"

We shall see! Hope everyone is well? Read through the thread but I forget who's said what

Hey kez :) congrats on your weight loss progress (from other Fred).

Painful boobs have landed, which have been my pre AF sign for the past two cycles. I am also tired but I reckon this is from exceeding shagging lol! AF due Sunday or Tuesday!

evening all.

stoat just book a holiday. I'd have missed out on about 6 by now if I'd put off booking holidays for ttc. you can't put your life on hold.

sky my hospital paperwork is very specific about cd1 being full flow. I've read it in lots of places online too.

ain I think any seminal fluid will have dripped out before scan and the swimmers will be up where they need to be and too small for us to pick up. on mine (internal) she pointed out all the ewcm at the top of my cervix - so its definitely there even when you don't see it girls!

I'm on day10 of injections already. where did that go!!

Morning girls. My temp is on the way down so will be expecting to see AF at some point soon. So annoying! If I knew it would be like this we could have saved money on condoms! Who needs them?!

I know what you mean about holidays. My friend said they never went away for 2 years when TTC.
We've booked a UK holiday for May, we usually go away in September as well but I'm not booking that til later in the year

Morning viroids! My apologies for being so quiet, I have had a personally enforced internet ban to stop the obsessing.
Just popped back to let you know that I am tentatively celebrating a rainbow bfp today! !

I'm supposed to be going away in October. Decided I'm going to leave it until at least summer to book. There something exciting (and bargaintastic) about booking a last minute holiday anyway.

Honey has it gone below cover yet? Mine dipped with both pregnancies then went up. Not out til the witch zooms in!

Hi dot welcome! waves

stoat I second lil - I put life on hold ttc, didn't book glasto tickets, didn't go on hols etc and it took us 16 month to get bfp! LOS is a powerful tool, book it!

Have fun at hp world jelly!

Ooooh mountain! Oooh!!!