O Come all ye Viroids, joyful and triumphant. Deck the halls with Contraband. All I want for Christmas is a BFP! Just Shag all the way (no36)

[Purplecircle]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 35 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

I've got another 10 days of symptom spotting

Hello all! I've been lurking, reading fred over Xmas on my phone but too fiddley with the little buttons to reply.
Ga is it possible to have AF without icing first? I just assumed I was icing because AF arrives eventually. Eeek!
CD 15 here, but last cycle was 38 days so don't reckon I'll ice (if I am!) for another week, well behind you girlies for poas action.

Hi towns. I think its called an anovulatory cycle. This is why many of us temp for a short while, just to check we are ovulating each month. If you are you should see a temp rise sustained for at least three days.

Lots of us do it so if you need detailed advice, just ask.

jelly I'm hooya-ing you. there are 20 sticks in the box for a reason. you have 7 left! also lp doesn't start until u ice so stop worrying about lpd. and the ewcm proves I'm right. just shut up and get shagging gal!

town it is normal to have up to 2 annovulatory cycles per year. I'm not sure what happens/how those cycles go as I ovulated every cycle I temped for almost 2 years. it takes time for body to settle after bcp. I had erratic cycles but was still ovulating so you probably are but just at different times each month.

my tree is still up. its still Christmas, tomorrow is the 12th day. it can cone down tomorrow night!

I was awake at stupid o'clock this morning due to stressing over a house move, and by 5am I'd got to thinking about babies. Realised I was 12dpo and for want of something to do I broke and PO what I swore would be the only stick I would buy this time around.

And there's a faint line!!!!! :D

I'm not going to tell dh before he leaves for work as he's starting a new job today, but does anyone have any fun ideas for how I could tell him later that don't involve me just running into the room crying (which is what I did with my first pregnancy).

Congrats mum !! Is that a kitten??

That's for the hooyah lil. I'm just convinced I'm not icing, so this has worried me a bit. I thought LP was meant to be same length as follicular phase?

Gx purple :) try not to spot too many symptoms! We will be here to hooyah you if you do!!

Congratulations mum! Stats!

Jelly I agree with lil and sending you gentle hooyah - don't worry about lp until you know when you're icing, one step at a time. Whole point of cbfm is to check you are icing and when, THEN you can worry about the next bit.

Your cycles are still stabilising - try to take one day at a time. Keep shagging!

Hi town! Welcome to the gang. Don't lurk, dive in!

Cheers la !! I'm keeping up with EOD shagging, we've DTD cd 6,8,10,11,13,15,16 & 18 so far! Am I in any way contender for shagger of the month?

Congratulations mum! Stats please! (When did you shag, when did you ice?)

Congrats Mum, I think that makes you a kitten!

We won't make shagger of the month at all. We've done it twice on day 11 and 13. Hopefully it's enough to get a sticky bean this month

Congratulations mum!
jelly SOTM is yours! Unless anyone can beat that.
town welcome, I hope to ice this cycle think I didn't last time due to general unhealthy ness plus mc in October has messed with my body a bit. AF still arrived bang on time.

Wow ga I don't even know what day AF arrives let alone the time lol!!

I'm sure someone has shagged more than me! Honey?

I wonder where Lemon has been recently? Oh and hi town :)

I genuinely thought the CBFM would stop a lot of the crazies but I think it's making me worse!!

Nope Jelly, i iced on day 13. Did 14&16 but not the last two days. Might have a shag tonight though.

fair enough! We've just been doing it EOD with the odd day thrown in here and there since AF finished. Gonna try the same for the next few months I think! (especially if CBFM doesn't give me a peak next month).

Jelly I'm exhausted just reading how often you've been dtd. You must be SOTM.

haha well at least I have achieved something this month!!

Sotm award...Jelly!

I've not dtd in 12 weeks. God!

La you'll have cobwebs!

Gaggia did the witch turn up at 3pm?

la me neither! Poor DH (in fairness he doesn't seem that keen either )

Hoping trimester 2 brings more "appetite"

Jelly to answer your question about prog levels, I think they think I might need a bit of help - GP reckons they may suggest hormone meds of some kind (I guess that's probably clomid, or something like it?)

Well earned SOTM title :)

La and fleur - 12 weeks! Wow. Do you not have any urges?

towns - it is worth temping to see if it gives you a better idea of what's going on each cycle! Even if you just do it a bit.

jelly lp is usually 14days give or take. varies woman to woman but stays the same each cycle in the same woman. has nothing to do with follicular phase. FP is just time between cd1 and icing and can vary every month. keep pocbfms and Jeep up the shagging. with all that sotm work you def deserve a bfp this month. when that egg does arrive its going to be drowning in spunk!

congrats mum!

where's tink too?

Yeah I was thinking about the lack of tink recently too!

I guess I must have made up the whole FP must match LP thing! Oops! I'll keep shagging don't worry. (Now got Dory tune in head, thanks to whoever said that before lol). Got another 4 days of shagging if we keep up with EOD!

I had a dream about my ex last night =/ Not a dirty dream, but I met him in Pets at Home whilst I was trying to chase him down the street because I thought he had stolen something, then I was on a bus with him and someone girl I went to school with but spoke to about twice in my life, and we were all talking about my engagement to DP! How weird is that?

Tink is here!!!!

Hello viroids - sorry for absence lately - will forward a note from my mum and an apple

I have mostly been busy christmassing and also in a food induced coma!!

Congrats on the BFP's and boo to ERTD!

Lil how goes it? I hope you're starting to get excited now? It all must seem quite surreal!

Jelly good lord woman - you must be starting to chafe! SOTM def goes to you with those stats. My money is on you being upduffed before the daffs come up with all the effort that you're putting into it!

Gaggia my body also failed me on the icing front last month - however I now have pink slime (which is how henceforth ewcm will be known in my eyes!) by the bucketload which can only mean one thing! I think its normal not to ice every month.

ERTD arrived on Christmas day for me - how rude! So i'm now on CD11 and shagging like something. Still not got the prolactin treatment so will probably all be in vain this month but the pink slime shall not be ignored! Will consider Jan as practice month for main event in Feb; that is, if the Endo pulls his finger out of his arse and actually see's me!

La 12 weeks buddy! Yay! You too Fleur

Mountain Bother hope you guys are ok and will come back into the fold when you're ready.

Happy 2015 y'all