TTC after recent mc - thread 3. Handholding, naff jokes and the infamous Laura Ashley skirt.

[JamesAndTheGiantBanana]

Happy new thread! Here's hoping for lots of Christmas and new year bfp's, and long healthy pregnancies for everyone.

ibip you're not out yet, but love the planning to buy sonething gorgeous at the weekend plan anyway.

coffee shiny new car is definitely a good retail consolation- and getting your hair done and too- good stuff! I completely understand the whistle-stop tour of the stages of af grief you've just sped through. Coming out fighting is best though, I'm there too at the moment.

yorkie, wow you too have a lovely positive consolation plan coming up with that holiday! Are you off somewhere special? Come on, make us all ! I start new job on Monday so not long now!

Hi all

Hope I can hang out here (the thread has had many recommendations!).

I recently (2 weeks ago) had a devastating mc at 11 weeks, after 3 long years ttc with only that one BFP. We are keen to try again but I am worried that our chances of even getting another BFP are low. I am aged 40. We have one gorgeous 4 year old who has kept us sane.
We had all the fertility tests done last year/previous year(first NHS then privately including HSG) and nothing at all was found to be wrong in any of the tests. I guess I am looking for positive tips from others who have been through similar.

Xx

Hi all,

I'm coming to join your gang too after a coupe of months of lurking.

I had an erpc in early November after a MMC at 8 weeks. It took my af until new years eve to come back, and now I'm waiting for it at the end of my cyle. So far no sign, but I have no idea how long my cycle should be either (if you know what I mean!) I have of course had every pregnancy sign and symptom under the sun, despite the fact that I'm not even sure I ovulatd this month, and have peed on about 20 sticks, all giving me negatives. How bloody frustrating! Can anyone give me an idea of how long or erratic the first few cycles are?

HI Bzzbee and chickens - sorry you both find yourself joining our gang.

Bzzbee we've been TTC no 3 for 18m with one MC in that time, and I'm 38, so I hear where you are coming from. It is even more shit to lose a pregnancy that took so long to achieve - I'm really sorry.
Had a bit of a knife in the guts moment today when talking to a friend who is having marriage problems. She'd love a DC3 but has decided not sensible to try when she's worried at being left alone with two. She said "it's hard coming to terms with not having the children you'd hoped for" (ouch ouch ouch - yes it bloody is!) She wasn't being insensitive really - I guess we are both facing that though for different reasons

chickens after my first MC it took 3 months of the aptly titled "WTF cycles" before I was back to normal, after 2nd one was pretty much ok after first AF, but not sure how helpful that is because everyone is different.

Hi tins, how are you doing, duck?

Hiya bzz and hypno welcome and sorry you are here. We'll look after you though and hope that despite the shitiness you might have a naff joke or two to share in due course?

bzz, re your experience I'm afraid I don't really know, but I really do feel for you. I was lucky enough to fall pg after just a few months, this was number 1 for me so no other children sadly.

hypno, how long is a piece of string?! I think it's very individual, not just from person to person but also from mc to mc unfortunately. The wtf cycles did inspire me to try opks though, to give myself some idea of what's going on as much as possible.

Hi newbies, I second the above - tis mighty shit we are all here but hopefully we can support you both. And wtf cycles are par for the course.

Ok - here's a crappy joke 'the vegetarian girl said she knew me but I'd never met herbivore' da dah

Kitty I like it!

Thunder I have PMS, so will be POAS tomorrow just to confirm it's BFN so I can celebrate Feb 1st with a clear conscience

For the newbies I am not a total alky, but abstained over the festive season in the vain hope I was upduffed then stupidly agreed to do dry January....

hello bzz & hypno so sorry that you're joining us here. I can only reiterate thunder's words - hypno I don't think anyone can say what is normal to expect as it really differs so much from person to person. Agree that opks will help. Also, maybe consider temping as well in trying to understand what is going on with your cycle. Temping is great because you see that you have ovulated as opposed to opks which only give an indication that you might ovulate soon.

Thunder in answer to your question earlier we are off to USA - Las Vegas, New Orleans, Memphis and Nashville. I'm a lucky lady and really can't wait! I'm not sure going crazy on the booze should be defined as positive consolation plan but I'll embrace it wholeheartedly! I was really hoping to get a bfp before my 35th birthday but time seems to be running out quickly...Here's to lots of

Evening all and hello to bzz and hyno

I had read on here that you are supposed to be more fertile after mc as everything has been kicked into life, so after my natural mc in mid dec, DH and I started ttc-ing as soon as the bleeding stopped. Couldn't do opks as hcg would have got in way but think I actually ov'd while still bleeding anyway because AF came 30 days later.
Have used a CB fertility monitor on this cycle and ov'd on CD18 which is later than normal based on previous cycles so I think it does mess you up.
I really like the monitor though as it gives you the high days before the ov peak which makes me feel more confident I'm working properly IYKWIM. Got mine for £45 on eBay and will sell it on if and when I get a stickier BFP ( will probably wait til 40 weeks to be totally sure lol)

Just saw work colleague who normally works on a different site, she has a huge bump and is due in May. Was a bit of a shock as we had our DS at similar time. Had a bi of a "poor me" moment but hopefully she didn't notice

Am DPO4 today - too early to POAS?

Hello newbies - sorry you find yourselves here - I would say 'normal' after a mc is precisely what you would have considered 'abnormal' before! Prepare for some crazyness but you are amongst like minded people ;o)

choc in light of my last comment: yeah deff poas, not too early at all lol! And kitty like your joke; further proof of crazyness!

yorkie most jealous of your jet setting - have a fab relaxing time, I could do with a portion of that

good thinking chocolateabag..I sold my CB on ebay (at a knock down price and it was in perfect nick!) precisely 5 days before the scan that predicted my mc...:(

Having said that, I was rubbish at using it anyway so it probably would still be in its box now.

Hi all. I been awol for a bit as trying not to be crazy ttc lady! chocolat I'm also 4 dpo. Please help keep me sane !

yorkie i'm so jealous of your holidays!! i would love to be jetting of this week!! but can;t complain, just booked flights for our summer hols to Sicily :) never been, but been trying to research online all night! we just desperately needed something to look forward to!

and hi newbies, welcome to the crazy lady house. sorry you've had to check in but feel free to rant away if required! we've all done out fair share about mother nature being a complete witch.

my cycles were completely off the clock after my mc, unfortunately there's no 'normal' after mc. I'm the queen of the long cycles but got AF now and just received my millionth parcel full of cheapo www opks today along with a shiny new thermometer.... really need to do some research into this temping malarky. so bring it on little swimmers ...well in about 3 weeks probably!

chocolate i know how you feel about seeing someone - i bumped into a friend last week who i only see now and again and just had to keep looking at her face when i was talking cos if i had've looked down at her bump i would have got a bit aaaaaaggggghhhhhh - she told me she was 12 wks the day after i got my BFP so i had imagined us being kinda pg buddies.

thunder hope you're getting all excited about your new job. v jealous, i bloody hate my job.

coffee i'm with you on the AF...maybe we'll be ov-ish buddies :)

hi to everyone else

yorkie holiday sounds fab, I'm jealous. When do you go?

BFN here this morning as expected. Hadn't even got my hopes up this month, not sure if that is positive progress in the "being less crazy" stakes or if I've just given up hope. anyone? (maybe not till this evening!)

Anyone else testing this weekend? Have lost track of my cycle buddies - sorry!

Arse about the bfn, tins . I think acceptance is a good thing in terms of not being on do much of an emotional rollercoaster all the time but you're not out yet either

I had lots of last night. Sod it I thought- its going down well so I'm going to go with it and enjoy myself.

Morning everyone else!

Crap bakingtins :( seems your taking it well, how long have you been trying now?
I haven't tested yet and I'm getting myself far too psyched up, I don't want to test I case it's not positive. Also DD got me up at 5.40am so I did my first wee without engaging my brain.

Thanks Janie and tins - I go on Monday so last day in the office today. Thank god!

Sorry about the bfn tins. Hope you're okay.

Good for you on the drinking front thunder!!!

I guess I should be testing on Monday but I'm pretty sure I'm out based on my cramps, lack of sore boobs and drop in bbt over the past 3 days so will wait until AF arrives

February - lucky month for us all then?!

Hello again

Is it wise to check for a BFN after a mc to find out when things are back to normal?
Can anyone recommend cheap internet test sticks?

How long have people typically waited after mc (natural or otherwise) before dtd? I know they advise waiting until next period, but is there any danger in not waiting (i.e. should we use condoms or something). Having said that, it's a bit late now ;-)

Thanks
x

bzzbee i had a d&c and was advised not to dtd until after bleeding stopped to avoid infection more than anything. i didn't really feel like dtd anyway as i was so down, but a week or two later we were back on it (as they say!!) re. the cheapo opks, i bouth these ones recently tinyurl.com/bzdbfx7 off ebay - i got the package with a thermometer etc as well as i ws going to do temping this month too, but you can buy them on their own too. good thing is you sometimes get cheapo pg tests too in the package so even if you poas early then you haven't broken the bank.

i was at the doctors yesterday as i have had really bad skin since coming off my pill last march - big spots on my chin / back and some on my chest. i was on the dianette pill which helps with bad skin and it worked amazingly but it's just getting me so down at the minute. i've tried everything - so i asked the doc is there anything i can take that could help, but unfortunately all the products are dangerous if ttc. has anyone else had anything similar? it's making me so self conscious, i can't even war a vest top in bed, have to be totally covered up, which isn't doing wonders for the sex life :( have a few weddings and a holiday coming up and there's no way i'll be able to wear anything with my back on show :(

Thanks everyone for commiserations.
Kitty I'm on cycle 5 post-MC and TTC for a year before that. Hope you have better luck when you decide to test.
yorkie onwards to february BFPs and November babies it is....
bzzbee most of us haven't waited. The only potential problem is that it makes a pregnancy difficult to date because it's less clear when you ovulate. The other thing to mention is first AF after a MC can be very heavy, even if you've had an "all clear" scan, so I think it's common that actually that uterine lining in the first cycle is not normal, but plenty of people get pregnant straight away and it is fine, so I certainly wouldn't "prevent" even if you don't "try" very hard.

To give be some hope, my cycles after MMC and (so far) MC went back to normal straight away...

I used zineryt when I first began TTC, was good for my spots and my doc said ok to use when TTC...I had to go on tabs once for stress related spots on my back, they only went when the stress went unfortunately

Oh and chocolate as your cycle buddy 4DPO is too early!!! Cos if you do, I'll have to

Hi all I caved and did an ic this morning it was BFN, I was actually pretty surprised as I have had a fair few strange symptoms and just thought I was pg, no AF yet so we will see.

Oh Bump - hope you are just too early..

Bzzbee - the midwife/sonographer who did my MC scans (she was both) at the EPU said that waiting for first AF was her advice for my "emotional recover" as physically once everything was out, I was good to go.
Dating seems a rubbish excuse as you will get that confirmed if/when you had the 12 week scan anyway.
First AF was quite heavy - but I wouldn't have not tried to TTC. Have been plenty of people on here who had a BFP straight after MC, some didn't work out, but alot did.
My thinking is that it's usually an issue with the embryo - cell division gone wobbly - and not your womb, so therefore the next egg/sperm combo will have every chance of being fine.
In short - if you feel up to DTD, DTD (sans condoms)

Shell Shock - I'll be strong for you

ooh and Lucky13 - will also keep up the POAS resistance
5DPO and counting.......