TTC after recent mc - thread 3. Handholding, naff jokes and the infamous Laura Ashley skirt.

[JamesAndTheGiantBanana]

Happy new thread! Here's hoping for lots of Christmas and new year bfp's, and long healthy pregnancies for everyone.

Peacock welcome to the thread and hope your af arrives soon so you know where you are - it must be very frustrating.

Thunder I asked only because I read that your cycle after mc can be very screwed up so what you think is your normal time to ovulate may not be the case. Don't give up hope yet...Do you temp? - I've read that is the only way you'll know for sure that you've ovulated.

Notspartacus I've just bought a cb fertility monitor off ebay and can't use it until next cycle so can't comment on how good it is. I know chocolate has also got one so might be able to give you a better idea on how good they are.

shell funny about your fb dream - it seems strange in a way that we're comfortable telling people stuff on here that we wouldn't tell some of my mates in real life...not that I would announce dtd on fb!

chocolate I remember you saying your boiler had broken over xmas. We've no heater or fire but luckily the flat is high up and gets a little bit of heat from the other flats. I forgot to put on the immersion heater the other morning and had to have a freezing cold shower - not happy! We've got a homecare plan through british gas but they didn't have anyone free to come out this weekend - it's great that we're paying all that money and are not able to get them to come out when we need them to! Rant over!

Hi chocolate, sorry to hear you're so cold too. And yorkie you actually had the freezing cold shower?! Wow that is impressive! I would have done a pit wash and got back into my multi-layers filthy woman that I now seem

Yeah I read that temping is the only way to know about ov, and no I don't do it. The reason why I know I've got very little hope is the lack of dtd recently so very little chance if I ov'd much later than that +Iove opk. Not good I know but we just needed to take a bit of the dtd pressure off I think ....and we're just not that great at going at it like rabbits as some, which I'm very jealous of!

err when I say I had a freezing cold shower I took the shower head off its hook, held it far away from me then quickly splashed hand cups of water over myself. The shower lasted all of 2 mins!

We're in the same boat thunder and are not at it like rabbits all the time. I had lunch with my mate today who is lovely but likes to talk about how amazing her sex life is and how they are at it all the time I know what you mean a few days after the opk says + we've kind of given up as it is a lot of pressure the rest of the time. Would you consider temping if you don't get a bfp this month? I've started this week but obvs need to do it for a bit longer to get any understanding of what is going on but I think it might give me a better idea of when I do ovulate after getting a positive opk.

God I'd love to be at it all the time- that would make dtd much easier! It's not that we don't enjoy it, it's just that we don't do it that much, and the extra pressure of having to do it at the right time means that we do it less afterwards! I do get much hornier in that second week though, which definitely helps (but adds to laziness after!)

Not sure I'll temp next cycle but I definitely would consider doing it in future. Am I right in thinking that you have to be super cocsistent with it- take temp same time each morning before you've even moved a muscle? I need to keep things low key for the moment here- for my own sanity but also to keep the pressure off OH, so would probably start thinking about it a bit further down the line.

I'd be really interested to hear how you get on with it. Do you have a special digital thermometer?

Ps and Facebook dream!

Yep you have to be consistent and take it at the right time and it can make you a bit obsessive tbh. If you're trying to take the pressure off oh then it's probably not the best thing. My Dh gets annoyed when the alarm goes off at 7 on a weekend for me to temp.

It was good though for understanding my cycle when I was temping before my mc. My 1st cycle I knew my AF was coming as my temp dropped significantly that day. I also knew I'd ovulated the month I did get my BFP as my temp rose and stayed high until I tested.

That us really good isn't it- knowing when af is coming as well as knowing things are looking good when the temps stay high. Yeah definitely one to consider for the future!

*chocolate, I'm on CD11 so we may be POAS at the same time...my first cycle post MC was 30 days, usually 29 so not too bad...will POAS around CD28 tho We DTD from CD10 when TTC even tho I usually ovulate CD19, start early just in case!

I temped and charted after first MMC....I would recommend the book Taking Charge of your Fertility....was very helpful but I didn't keep it up, got a good idea and assumed its the same each month?

thunder we're not great at DTD either, very good at it when TTC but otherwise we let it slide easily Also you could chart without temping, I always know when I'm ovulating cos of the change in discharge (TMI!)

I realised today if we are lucky and I get pregnant this month, due date will be the same as it was for my first pregnancy which ended in MMC...not worked out how I feel abt that yet

Good evening everyone, are you getting snowed in, too?! I'm very seriously thinking that I won't bother going into work tomorrow. If it continues to snow like this, no point even trying. Plus, I also still feel pretty grotty from this flippin' norovirus attack... Really wouldn't wish that on anyone. DS did a stellar job spreading it - his childminder and her son came down with it the same night as him, the a couple of days later me and the cm's husband - now it's just DH who hasn't got it yet

DIY - you are where I wish to be! But I'm afraid I can't really say what I would do to get going again either! A couple of things keep popping into my mind - e.g. reflexology (or acupuncture), getting massages, not necessarily to support ttc (although it'll be a welcome side effect ), but to help my body to get back on track and to just feel better. Currently, I feel in the pits, both health-wise and emotionally , and I just want to get back to normal. Unfortunately, this will also require me to find another job, as I am just so unhappy in my current one. To the point where I really think it's starting to affect my recovery from the mc.

Bodicea - you are very brave indeed! How wonderful it must feel though, if you can now really help someone who is in the same situation - if only one person never has to hear those stupid comments 'it's very common' or 'well, but you know that you can get pregnant, you've already have your DS', then that is worth so so much!

Flower - very about your BFN! May it indeed be the one and only.

I don't dare test yet, and I'm getting increasingly worried when I read about how long it has taken some of you to get one, let alone for AF to come back! I don't really plan to wait with ttc until AF, but still... If everything else is dubious, at least you know where you stand with AF.

Thunder - sorry about your BFN!

NotSpartacus - I did temping and used cheapie OPKs, really helped me to understand my cycle. And I bought a CBFM. Which I never got to use because a week after it arrived, I got a bfp, so I can't say anything about it.

In fact, I can highly recommend spending a lot of money on ttc paraphernalia to get a bfp! In November, I spend a fortune on the CBFM, the sticks and the Taking Charge of Your Fertility book - and then got my bfp at the end of the month! Not sure what I can do now (well, apart from starting to use all the stuff actually...)

I've never temped to work out where I am in my cycle, as I get mittelschmerz when I ovulate - so I know to the minute when I've ovulated, and on which side too. Uncomfortable, but useful.

Still brown spotting from mc, still getting a faint positive when I test. Going to leave it until next weekend to test again.

Hi everyone, just checking in as MN has decided this is no longer a "post I'm on". Nothing to report - just starting 2ww again.

Welcome Peacock and waves to everyone else.

Morning all, hello tins.

Not snowed in here but very cold and now all the snow has been packed down to ice so it's not fun at all trying to walk anywhere.

shell, I don't think my cm actually changes very much throughout but I'm going to make a note this cycle to see if I get a clue! Had lots this 2ww which is one of the reasons why I got suspicious, but now I totally don't feel pg at all so it's just the waiting game for af. Day 30 and counting.....

ark that sounds very useful in actually knowing when you ov, despite the discomfort. Saves time and money too I expect!

I have a cb digi opk and will be using that in earnest next cycle. This is going to be the one.

Hi all.

Just starting yet another 2ww. To be honest, I don't think it going to happen this month. Not sure why I have that feeling, I just do.

Thunder- sorry about your bfn. Not going to bore you with saying there is still time.

Baking- nice to see you. Are we 2wwing together again? :)

Bodecia- super impressed with your bravery at your job. I can understand how it must be nice to hear the happy story's though, all I am googling at the moment is 'chances of successful pg after 2 mc.' so many mixed stories, seems a little hopeless to me at the moment, but I'm sure that is just the negative dark cloud I have hanging over me at the moment. Would be lovely to hear some happy stories, but don't think I could be as strong as you must hve to be! Well done you :)

Hi Pink sounds like we are 2ww buddies again. I have 2 friends who have had 2 MC then a baby, so there is plenty of hope it can work out for you. One of them had 2 MMC discovered at 12 week scan. I could not believe life could be so cruel when it happened to her a second time. She now has 2 beautiful children.

Yay tins, I like having a friend to poas with. :)
When is your BFP due? I think mine should be on the 2nd feb but given tht this cycle is the first after my mc last month I reckon could be any time really.

And thank you for the happy story. Has just cheered me up!
I keep panicking that I should be doing something different, but just being very well behaved this month. No drinking, way less caffeine and lots of fruit! That way even if it goes wrong again I will know I have done everything I can!

Another opk question here- has anyone had Internet cheapies and got a strong (dark) line that is only half the width? I know on peeonastick.com it says this is either fine or it's not but I'm not sure which applies to these.

Sorry thunder I don't know but I have just bought some cheapie ones so would be interested to hear.

After getting my bfn at the weekend I thought I'd start with opks again so did one this morning and got a smiley using cb ones. I don't know if this really means positive or not I guess I could have got a negative preg test last week as had very faint line a week last sat. Wasn't expecting one this soon so not sure what to do. We hadn't really decided whether we'd wait for af or not my heart says not to wait my head says to wait!

Thunder - I've been using internet cheapie OPKs, but have not come across that problem! Have you repeated the test, maybe it was just the one that's off? Is the control line OK?
If it's a strong line and the control line looks as it should, I would be inclined to say that it's fine...

But I'd repeat it, just to make sure.

Well this is what happened mid cycle, but I just peed on an opk and it's done it again. The control line looks fine and the test line is dark purple near the dippy bit and lighter on the other side. I'm on day 31!

flower, that's odd getting a smiley so soon- do another one tomorrow and see? Only you can make the head/heart decision I reckon, but either is not easy to do.

Erm, don't opks check for the same thing hpt's do?
Sorry, i'll shhh now....

They can pick up hcg but mine coincides with a bfn so it's not that!

Oh. Boo hiss. I thought we were going for a late celebration then.
In that case, what the chuff is going on then. Broken opks?!

I don't know but I started today feeling ok and now feel pissed off and confused. Have made a plan to preserve sanity though- will break into the cb digi opks starting tomorrow, and use til af or smiley appear. At least I'm doing something then!

sorry to hear you've had a crap day thunder. Are you meant to use opks so late in your cycle? I thought that once you've got a + on a opk you're not supposed to test again cos it can produce confusing results...I might be wrong though. If that is the case I think you should put away your opks for your own sanity!