With angel babies in the sky, some of us expecting rainbow babies, others still ttc and definitely swi!!

[Bluetinkerbell]

started new thread! we do talk a lot, don't we?

mel I feel exactly what you are feeling. We so desperatly want to get pg and then we are so scared to as well. Its not fair that we have had to go through this. I to have been close to tears over everyone elses pain especially ciwi, Angel, Too and cheese.
Its not a selfish post mel we are all here feeling the same, and we all know how it is, so we are the best people to read these posts.
I got a little upset yesterday when my mum was talking about Ophelia but couldnt use her name and just called her the baby!
mel I really hope that line gets darker and darker and you get a uber positive BFP this weekend, you deserve it. Fingers crossed that I shall be joining you shortly. have some and from me.

ciwi a very happy birthday to your lovely angel boy Ciaran! Enjoy the cake! :)

I have a UTI :( very annoying! it's probably all that waiting around after swi-ing... normally after dtd I go to the toilet straight away... I'm very sensitive for UTI's...

morning

mel dont apol for being selfish and negative thats what we are here for (hugs) everyone here understands how you feel

ciwi thinking of you and your angel today

razz good news from the scan

blue booo to the UTI i also usually am quite sensitive to getting them

i hamy scan yesterday and was relieved when they found the heartbeat straight away. however have to go back in 2 weeks as she couldnt get the measurements she needed as baby was hiding in the pelvis so could only measure from belly up! from scan i am 20+2 now. however my DH thought i would be alot less worried now that scan was over but i still cant shake the feeling something will still go wrong.

wishing everyone a good day even though the weather is awful

Happy Birthday to my beautiful baby boy, I love you more than words could ever say and think about you every minute of every day, I hope you know that xxx
mel We all understand how you feel and have all been there. Your line sounds very promising but I also know how you feel in not getting too excited, I felt like that after my mc too, I have everything crossed for you x
blue hope your uti clears up soon and you can get on with swi, fx for you this month too x
Ciaran got a card from my mum and dad this morning with money in it for his birthday present, it was lovely and we are going to use it for a memory box but it did upset me thinking that things just shouldn't be like this x

aaaaah too much stress at the moment! trying to drink this UTI away... not good at that, I normally don't drink a lot during the day anyway! so it is a real effort!

this morning DH looked on Rightmove and saw that house is not on there anymore! is it a good or a bad sign? Cycled past it when dropping off DD at playgroup this morning. The landlords weren't in, but there was a guy working at the house who said there were a few applications put in, and the decision hadn't been made yet... it would be such a disappointment if they decide for someone else... we are just the perfect family to go and live there!

Morning.
Ciwi thinking of you x
Mel I understand exactly what you mean. It doesn't sound selfish, we just feel wretched and everything's wrong. We were ttc, I was doing ovulation tests and then a few days ago I just felt like giving up. DH doesn't understand, I don't either really. I just don't want to swi, don't feel like it, or do these tests just for them to tell me that nothing's happening. And we've got this puppy and I hate it. It's not his fault poor thing but he wouldn't be here if everything was "normal", if we hadn't been derailed. I just want my baby Jacob and nothing else.
blue hope the UTI clears up quickly
shakey sending positive vibes, just think you will get to see your baby again when you go back for measurements

mel sorry, that was me being "selfish" and moaning about how I feel and I forgot that actually you could have a BFP, I really and truly hope it is and I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say that we'll all be overjoyed for you and be here every step of the way.

Blue x-posts - oh no, hope you don't miss out on the house... fx for that too

mel come on upload us a pic we need to see your line! that would be so fantastic! Fx for you! xxx

august thanks! I feel like giving up sometimes as well...

shakey so glad your scan went ok! I will be dreading my next 20 week scan if I ever get pregnant again... as that was when we found out Sterre had died :(

I'm on my second pint glass of squash to drink this UTI away...

shakey so glad your got to see your little one, I think none of us will ever be able to fully love being pregnant again. The hurt and the pain of thinking that we will never have a baby. I agree with august just try to think that you will be seeing your baby next time and try not to think of anything else.

blue hope that uti gets out of here ready for the weekend! Do you drink cranberry juice? this might help you when swi and stop you getting uti. Worth a go?

Feel bad now that I said I hate the puppy, I don't hate him. We got him from a rescue centre, something nice for the dc and they love him even though he's a bit annoying - chewing their toys and trying to nick their biscuits. And actually he's keeping me busy and will make me get out and about for walks and I talk to him when dc are at school and dh is at work. And he is sweet really.
blue have you tried Cystopurin for the UTI? Its rank but flushes you out :)

oh yeah I do drink cranberry juice sometimes, we just ran out :( and sold the car and all the shops in walking distance don't stock it :(
I'd rather not go down the medicine way although I have talking some pills I always have in the medicine cabinet so it goes away quicker!

Mel, I'm sending you lots of love and hugs and hope - I have every fibre crossed for the BFP getting stronger and stronger and everything being absolutely fine and healthy.

Ciwi - that's so sweet of your parents! I'm so glad they did something to acknowledge the day. Happy Birthday sweet Ciaran.

Blue, get well soon, and I have my fingers crossed for you getting the house.

August, I understand about the puppy - a puupy isn't a baby and it won't help. My mum adopted a puppy not long after Thea died, and I found it quite hard, weirdly, and it wasn't even my puppy! Still, I bet your little dog is very cute and it will start to feel like part of the family in its own way soon. What kind of puppy is it?

Shakey, yay for the heartbeat and little hiding baby. I tend to get reassured by scans for a short time but then it wears off again.

Razz, yay for the good scan too!

Green, I have been doing lots of comfort eating too . Have just had a sausage sandwich for breakfast, and dinner last night consisted of a slab of Fruit and Nut and some leftover gratin dauphinois. I do take vitamins, though! It is just that neither of us can be bothered to cook right now - planning to go shopping for some healthy, vegetable-filled ready meals on the way home so that we don't have to cook or eat junk. I have heard that just starting a diet can often result in a BFP...

Love to all!

too when I was pg I wasnt very hungary and used to eat till full and I craved lots of good things like Tomatos (even though I hate them) and apples and spinach.
But now I just dont have the energy or something, like yesterday I have been on this healthy eating plan for two weeks now and yesterday I went home for lunch and ended up having a crisp sandwich and a cheese sandwich on top of the healthy lunch I had taken to work! And then DH took me out for a meal. Naughty girl, though today I will be good and do at least 45 minutes on the wiifit when I get in. I think thats my problem is exercise, since the birth I havnt got back to my old strength and falling down the stairs two months after didnt help either. But I find I cant walk as fast or do much, so I need to work that up. Might start riding into work tomorrow, that might help. And as we have said before losing weight can help with a bfp too.

Happy birthday Ciaran. Look after yourself ciwi. How lovely of your parents to send a card and money, it made me choke up.
angel thank you, I agree one step at a time and I keep reminding myself that at the moment all is well. Hope you are managing some chilling out time.
shakey fab that you had a positive scan and now baby has helped you to get another
mel we all totally no how you feel and I certainly never veiw any posts as selfish, just honest and full of a pain that we all relate to. There have been times that I have regretted getting pregnant again and then feel so guilty. The BFP is great news and I so hope it continues to get stronger. When will you test again?
green boo for putting on weight. I struggled for years to concieve (pcos) and then in the two months before I fell with Thomas I joined a bootcamp and lost 1.5 stone and my consultant is convinced that was the reason why. He says that loosing 5% of your body weight usually kick starts things. Im by no means a slim jim....bmi of 27
too how long until your amnio now?? Still add you to my prayers each night.
blue hope you get picked to be the new tenent in your longed for house
august sorry that you feel like you want to give up ttc, give yourself time out if you need it.
Hello cheese hope you are well today

Too that's exactly it. I don't want people thinking we got him to help in anyway because as you say, its not a baby and it doesn't make any difference to how I feel, or DH. But it is good for the DC. They were desperate for a puppy before I got pg and we said no, because I was pg. So... he's here now, I'll try to make the most of it and accept that this is the way things are.
I've been finding eating in general really hard. I don't eat in the day and usually find I'm suddenly starving when I get back from school run in the afternoon so have a sandwich and biscuits with my boys - not v healthy. And then I pick at the leftovers from their dinner and have wine and chocolate when they're in bed. I did do a roast chicken last night with mash and veg so we could all eat as a family though. Mainly because I'm so aware that if we don't eat at a normal time ie - when the kids eat - then we will just be too tired / past hungry by the time they're in bed and end up eating junk or eating late, neither of which can be a good thing.

Ah, its a crossbreed, not sure what. They don't know! Just a little mutt. ;)

August that's the way I'm feeling, like what's the point in dtd if I'm not going to get pregnant?

Stupid phone!! Anyway, working nights so probably wont test til weekend. Who am I kidding, I'll test tomorrow!

wish I was a BMI of 27 Im a boarding 35 BMI! Doesnt help I have a massive pair of bangers! 34GG! though they keep DH very happy.

wish i had that bmi too, i am 33 and have to have a GTT in 3 weeks just in case, so another thing to stress about.

Happy birthday to Ciaran! Floaty hugs for you, fly high little man xx
ciwi thinking of you today.xx

can't beleive it, Im sure the HR lady here at work is pg but she wont come anywhere near me. Shes just come in the office saw me and kind of hid on the other side of the office, another member of the office went over and said your not are you and I saw her slightly nod in my direction. and it all went quiet! For gods sake people, I was just about to get up and walk over and make a fuss of her bump but shes gone now. Im going to make a point of doing this when she next comes to our office. I need to stop these people for trying to look after me, they are not looking after me they are hiding me from the truth! (ok rant done) Now back to work!

Afernoon all. Off to the fracture clinic later this afternoon with ds2, hopefully his cast will be able to come off now and he'll get back to normal!

Jane That's a really lovely thing to do with Zoe's moses basket.

ciwi happy birthday Ciaran today, hugs xx

razz I'm glad that your scan went well, can only enjoy each step as we get past it xx

green I wish I could knit, I would love to help with those blankets too, I've been considering buying a book and some wool but I'm not sure how easy it would be to learn from a book. I went the opposite way after Scarlett and lost weight, I couldn't eat at all which wasn't good as I didn't weight much in the first place. I've still only put on about 2 pounds in this pregnancy but I'm having to eat properly due to the GD, I can't seem to face breakfast most days though.

Mel I had a really faint line with this pregnancy, it was so faint that I could really barely see it but it got gradually darker. I'll say congratulations and keep my fingers crossed for you. It's totally normal to feel that way so don't feel bad at all xx

Blue :( hope the UTI isn't too bad, how annoying. Hope you don't miss out on the house!

shakey Glad you saw baby and all was well, hope baby moves so that measurements can be taken next time :)

August hugs. Puppies are very hard work! xx

Too making me hungry with all that mention of food! I have to be really careful what I eat now as my numbers keep going high no matter what I eat :( Sometimes even the same food has a different effect on different days. I was still high last night after dinner even though I stuck to the carb number they told me too and had insulin as well.

pfieuw stress! landlady just phoned, they have 2 applicants, us and another couple. They are going to decide today and let us know either tonight or tomorrow morning who is going to be the best tenants for the house.
She didn't say we would get it :( she said she needs to look through the details she got from the letting agent with her DH.
I explained about the individual application because of the fees and said we do have 2 incomes and we are very flexible with regards moving in date... hopefully that helped! Fx...