Poncetastic Christmas Thread 2026

[RainbowZebraWarrior]

Thought I would start this year's thread as there are plenty of folk starting to chat about Christmas makes, bakes and crafts on the Christmas boards.

Wherever you are, Fellatio, here's to you. I hope you're brining a turkey and had crafting authentic organic woven tinsel somewhere!

Here is Fellatio's traditional thread opening:

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you"

Welcome, all, and let the Poncing commence!

<cuts metaphorical christmas ribbon>

🎄🎄🎄🎄

I’ve done similar with coffee and kaluha -
bloody gorgeous.

No plans as yet but I'd better get my skates on before it's too late.

I've got a large stash of Christmas fabric and am trying to think of something I can make that will use some of it up.

@MichaelmasDaisiesAndAutumSunset I too reject wizened grapes - prunes make a great substitute, and when you’re soaking in booze for cakes I firmly believe chopping them means they absorb it way better than raisins etc.
I just tested a fruit cake recipe (excuse to buy Christmas magazine) and used 75% prunes with some apricots, cherries, a couple of dates and mixed peel soaked in damson gin. Worked really well. Recipe included a warm caramel & rum sauce, and we ate up some damsons with the cake and caramel which was a bit different but really very good. Silicone Bundt mould is my new favourite thing, I was worried it wouldn’t turn out but worked perfectly and looked fab. I did consider poached pears to go with my next attempt, I pickled some years ago which I enjoyed but we didn’t really eat- everyone I gave them too looked underwhelmed, I think you need to have a plan for eating them…

Honestly looked better irl!

@AuntieDen Thank you for the ice cream recipe - now planning ginger ice cream to eat with fruit cake!!

This is where I fall at the first hurdle - one of my main food dislikes is alcohol in puddings and that happens a lot at Christmas. I don't mind it in mince pies and Christmas cakes as it is baked and the flavour hides in the richness but I can't bear it in anything cold or creamy. Or in coffee/hot chocolate. My mum used to make this pudding where she soaked ginger biscuits in sherry and sandwiched them with cream, I think that may have been where the aversion started as I also dislike ginger as a sweet ingredient and the sogginess was weird too (see also trifle).

But I have made mini Christmas cakes a couple of weeks ago, I freeze them and get them out year round to take to my Dad in a nursing home and last year's ran out. I give them a tiny feed with brandy before freezing but not much. We also have an ice cream machine (I love a kitchen gadget) - must dig that out.

Have a look at a Stained Glass Window cake, so.

https://www.womensweeklyfood.com.au/recipe/baking/stained-glass-window-cake-15849/

Nary a raisin, currant or a sultana in sight.

I also hate trifle. I remember being given sherry trifle as a child and it always tasted of over overpowering nasty cheap sherry. Also, for the life of me, I do not understand the soaking of biscuits or cake until soggy. It is a sensory abomination (see also: Summer Pudding and Tiramisu) Bleurgh.

I have now google searched vintage brooch wreaths. I think I will be buying velvet ribbon to make chains.

Oh wow, that looks stunning. I need to source some glace cherries made with natural food colourings as veggie DD does her nut about the E numbers used in the psychedelic ones (apparently some of them are a big no no for vegetarians)

If anyone spots any glace cherries made with natural colourings, please shout up. TIA

@RainbowZebraWarrior if you can’t please dd re glacé cherries, try dried mango and pawpaw.

I’ve had non-psychedelic cherries from The Grape Tree. Not sure what the vegetarian-offending ingredient is, but there are no e-numbers listed. 🙂

Anyone who loves vintage brooches but won't have the stamina to do a whole wreath - a few years ago we did a mixed media college thing as gifts with fabric paints, scraps of velvet, leather and tweed, some vintage picture frames and mother of pearl buttons etc - I only have a bad pic of the one we kept because it was a bit saggy, but people liked them a lot more than we were expecting and they were easy to do, just needed some time in charity shops looking for the bits...

Really must take the back off and tighten that fabric this year!

@RainbowZebraWarrior how about these? They have one coloured e number ,E163, but it’s a natural one.
https://www.naturalhealth4life.co.uk/product/natural-glace-cherries/

Yes, I got my glace cherries for the recent Christmas cakes from The Grape Tree, both bright and dark red ones say they are vegan, but the multi-coloured ones don't say they are and have E numbers. There's a red dye (carmine) derived from crushed insects so DD is right to be wary.

My real Poncetastic thread contribution

CANDIED QUINCE

1 kg quince
1 kg sugar
500 ml water
1g citric acid
Icing sugar

DAY ONE

Peel, core and quarter the quince. Immerse in lemon juice and water.

Bring water, peel and cores to the boil - do not use an aluminium pan. Simmer, covered, for 20 minutes to extract the pectin. Discard the peelings and cores.

Add the quince quarters to the pectin water. Simmer for 10-15 minutes and remove with a slotted spoon to cool. Then dice into even sized pieces.

Add 500g sugar to the water, stir until the sugar is dissolved. Add the cut up quince to the syrup, bring to the boil and simmer for 5 minutes. Remove from the heat and leave until tomorrow.

DAY TWO

Add the second 500g sugar to the syrup, bring to the boil, lower heat and simmer until sugar is dissolved. Simmer for a further 5 minutes, remove from heat and leave until tomorrow.

DAYS THREE AND FOUR

Bring to a simmer for 5 minutes and leave until the next day.

DAY FIVE

Bring to a simmer, add the citric acid. Remove from heat and remove quince with a slotted spoon onto a plate to drain and dry. Change plates every few hours over a couple of days. (Depending on the size of your dice, a rack over a plate may be a good way to do it).

When you think it’s dry enough, dredge in icing sugar. If the sugar dissolves, it needs to dry more. Store in an airtight tin or jar at room temperature.

The syrup keeps well in the fridge and may be used for custard, over or through ice cream, for Eton Mess or Pavlova, or over warm chocolate cake.

And, if you are not poncing but running

Australian Three Ingredient Christmas Cake

1 kg mixed dried fruit
600 ml chocolate milk
2 cups / 300g SR flour

Soak the fruit in the milk overnight.
Sift the flour and fold in.
Preheat the oven to 160c fan forced / 175c / 350f.

Bake the cake in a lined tin for about an hour. Test with a skewer before you remove from the oven to be sure. You may need longer.

@RainbowZebraWarrior

These do have sulphur dioxide but no E numbers?

https://www.waitrose.com/ecom/products/cooks-ingredients-glace-cherries/392125-55121-55122?srsltid=AfmBOoo7DsC-dNIjEZMLmV4c3GKu23nHmBjiw8bSsrtgySaZL5XKyQ2I

Everything in food has an e number. It’s up to the manufacturer if they use the e number or the word.

Sulphur dioxide is e220.

I'm guessing many of the soggy bread or soggy sponge puddings were born of using up stale bread and cakes?
I love trifle and have happy memories of eating it after a tinned salmon roll at my grandmother's.

I'm lucky enough to have inherited nan's trifle but I have failed to convince my kids that trifle is a good thing.

Now I fancy Delia's chocolate and cherry trifle which from memory is full of shortcuts like chocolate muffins and ready made custard with chocolate melted into it so barely scrapes into this thread 😆

Nan's trifle dish I should say...

The dish

Yeah this is exactly the thing. M&Ms also use the carmine and are very vague about wether they are vegetarian. They aren't. DD is very mistrusting and I don't blame her.

Yeah I think it probably was for using up stale bread. I will happily have the jelly, Fruit, Custard and cream. Just not the soggy bit.

Your Nan's trifle bowl is gorgeous. It's so lovely to inherit something like that. Every year you get it out / use it you're reminded of wonderful memories and childhood Christmases. My Nan also loved her tinned salmon sandwiches and Salads. It's another thing I don't like (picky so and so I am) but I loved the smell as she would douse it in vinegar.

Yes but if they only say the E number you have to look them up, whereas if they say the name it's easier. The mixed colour ones had three E numbers but no names whereas the red ones said what they were.