Poncetastic Christmas Thread 2026

[RainbowZebraWarrior]

Thought I would start this year's thread as there are plenty of folk starting to chat about Christmas makes, bakes and crafts on the Christmas boards.

Wherever you are, Fellatio, here's to you. I hope you're brining a turkey and had crafting authentic organic woven tinsel somewhere!

Here is Fellatio's traditional thread opening:

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you"

Welcome, all, and let the Poncing commence!

<cuts metaphorical christmas ribbon>

🎄🎄🎄🎄

I still have last year's cracker sewing pattern to do but I'm not particularly optimistic about getting them done as I'm back to work almost full time now, and it's still absolutely roasting here (south of France) so maybe that's preventing me from getting into the poncetastic mood.

I post most of the things I make on my Instagram page if anyone wants to look, if you search for Alice Pottery and Stuff my profile should come up (profile pic is a round blue jar).

I’ve not been on any of the previous threads but I’m coming along for the ride - love it already!

Hello, I love this thread too although I usually only read along and take joy in what others are making! I do have a date booked for next month to make our Christmas cake which is a tradition with my mum and my daughter. Although we choose a different recipe each year so we still need to decide on that.
My daughter has recently started cross stitch and already has made some Christmas pudding tree decorations to give to friends! So I need to be more organised like her..and she's only five!
Excited to be inspired by others and enjoy this lovely warm corner of joy.

I make Nigella's clementine cake every year and everyone loves it. It's a doddle to make (although it's best to tie some brown paper around the tin for the oven) so it doesn't get too brown. I usually serve it with M&S chocolate pine cones and some whipped cream, e.g the one from Waitrose with the Cointreau in it (and normal stuff for the kids).

<plonks down> Marking place

Very interested in a Christmas ponce, particularly the mention of pickled pears in the op. Is that a thing? As I’m about to pick loads of pears!!

Hi all. I don't ponce as much as I would like because of time but I have just finished a crochet Christmas pudding hat for baby granddaughter. Will make St Delia's creole Christmas cakes again and prep stuff for the big dinner beforehand like red cabbage and parmesan parsnips. . Looking forward to reading all the ideas and plans.

I love pinching for Christmas, although people who know me well will know that I am not above "buying in"my pinching and passing it off as my own!
I will be making St Delia's Christmas pudding as I do every year. My DH will be making the cake and the mince pies using " my" mincemeat 😋

I love these threads. No time to do any of it but love reading it and so thanks all. ❤️💚

Thanks for the thread @RainbowZebraWarrior I haven't done much planning yet but need to start thinking. I need crowns to go with the crackers I made last year and might also have a go at some quilted placemats using Christmas fabric scraps.

Hello, I’m new to this thread but the sound of these apple crumble bars have got me feeling proper poncey! Is there a recipe / link please?

Place marking. I never have as much time
as I would like to ponce but I enjoy vicarious ponce through this thread….

The post about the chocolate chestnut torte reminded me that I used to make this similar torte lot (the orange variation) and it freezes very well so I will make that and squirrel it away for boxing day. I will not be calories counting it for My Fitness Pal purposes though...🤣

Decadent chocolate truffle torte recipe | Good Food https://share.google/xsQRjPi5FaRP73Q7m

Sausage roll lovers! For years I've been trying to cook the perfect ones. I've now found the ultimate recipe and thought I'd share it here. They freeze perfectly and so they're ideal for Christmas. The list of spices is quite long, but I guarantee you'll make them again so the investment is worth it. I use Jus Rol all butter pastry from Waitrose and Jolly Hog proper porker sausage rolls from Sainsburys (as they have the skin that cut off easily and taste great). Oh, and I sprinkle nigella/black mustard seeds on top because I prefer them to caraway seeds.

https://ottolenghi.co.uk/pages/recipes/german-style-sausage-roll

This is the original recipe posted. I didn't add the salted caramel on top of mine. You have to let them cool for a long time (preferably overnight in the fridge) in order to be able to cut them neatly. I have so many apples, I made a couple of trays and have popped some in the freezer for Christmas time. (It says they keep 3 months in there)

https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/salted-caramel-apple-pie-bars/#tasty-recipes-75002

You were the next person I was going to tag! Hope you're doing well my lovely.

I'm just catching up, but yes they are very much a thing. I confess I have not made this recipe before, but it gets 5 stars and looks pretty foolproof. As I am also about to pick a load of pears, I am going to give this a go.

My Dad just makes pear puree with his which I find rather dreary, but I guess it could be spiced up a bit with some mixed spice and nutmeg for example.

https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/pickled-pears

Place marking!

That's stunning, and I'd love to see your version when you finish. I'd also love to see the pressed glass bowl and plate tree. I recently bought a gorgeous large green pressed glass bowl with a trailing Ivy leaf decoration and need some inspiration! It's beautiful, but still wrapped in bubble wrap atm.

P.S. You are now to be known going forward on this thread as Mrs Christmas to me!

I love a torte! (My phone tried to change that twice to Tortoise!) I did a haute cuisine course at night school years ago and learned to make one which I think was a Nick Nairn recipe. Very much love the idea of the orange one, too and can also vouch for Nigella's clementine cake. My only aside would be that as the clementines are boiled and it makes a very soft cake, it seems to go off quite quickly. About 3 days iirc. Not a problem if you are hosting for loads, but there's only two of us here and we couldn't eat it quickly enough. Perhaps best kept in the fridge, but of course there are always competing priorities for fridge space during the festive season!

Loving all the alternatives. Raisins, currants and sultanas are anathema to me, so Xmas is always a difficult pudding season for me. One year I made HFW chestnut puree and did little pies with that as the filling alongside normal mince pies. They were pretty good but peeling the necessary 9000 chestnuts, destroyed my hands. I keep thinking of doing them again using ready-prepped chestnuts, but feel it is not in the spirit of the HFW recipe.

Oooh lovely, I was imagining something savoury with the word pickle but these sound delicious and could make a nice easy dessert with ice cream. Which I love to try and make at xmas. Maybe something almond flavoured. Will you wait for your pears to ripen a bit to make these or think it’ll be better a bit underripe so they are more solid? I’ve had a few off the tree already which took a good 10 days to ripen and be tasty, but I probably picked them a bit early.

ooh - ice cream, very good tip without the faff (and which has seen my ice cream maker sit unused for ages now) - half a tin of condensed milk, 300ml of double cream, 2 tbsp of any alcohol and whisk until just past soft peaks makes a great ice cream you can then add almost any flavouring to - favourites here are

pistachio - heaped spoonful pistachio cream, two tablespoons of pistachio liquor and stir in some toasted pistachios at the end

malteser - use caramel vodka and stir in some crushed some whole maltesers

Caramel swirl - caramel vodka again and swirl in dulce de leche at the end

tiramisu - vanilla liquor, 2 tablespoons Monin tiramisu syrup and stir in some chopped chocolate coated madeleines, sprinkle the top with cocoa before freezing and it adds to the tiramisu vibe

you can also make it without the alcohol but to keep it soft serve you need to add something sweet - a jar of jam (half in while whisking and half stirred through at the end) or lemon curd (half whisked in, half swirled, add some broken meringue to make lemon meringue ice cream)

it is one of those incredible easy, make ahead, easy to experiment with recipes which you just keep thinking of variations on once you've started.

Ice cream is a brilliant call. I'm adding in my absolute favourite here. Salted honey ice cream. We are beekeepers so make a lot of honey recipes. People go nuts for this!

https://curlygirlkitchen.com/salted-honey-ice-cream-recipe/