Very Tricky Gift To Buy

[TedTookVows]

There is a member of my extended family who I really really dislike. They are a horror and I feel like I could go further but I won't. I severely limit all contact with them, but (usually) can't get out of Christmas.

I tend to operate a "if they go low you go high" principle with them but I am worn down by the way they continuously deliberately passive aggressively insult me via gifts. Recent past include : a single wrapped sweet that only comes in a larger multibag, amongst a box of tat, regifted shot glasses that someone else bought them (I don't do shots) and airfreshener.

Believe me this person is the worst.

So basically I need a "poison chalice" gift.

Please list gifts that looked good and you thought would be good but were in fact the worst eg bath salts that gave you thrush

(lighthearted)

I personally think a random gift card is the most insulting gift - it says 'I had an obligation but couldn't be arsed to put even a moment's thought of effort into thinking about you so I grabbed this from whatever shop I came across on my way over'.

If you want extra passive-aggressiveness get a gift card to a place they don't like (for example if they are snobs who only shop in waitrose get them an Asda gift card) or one for a useless amount (for example a high-end shop where even basic things are like £20 and get them a £5 or £10 gift card so they have to basically top it up to use it).

Clothes in the wrong size are almost always high on the list of 'offensive gifts from that family member who hates you' so basically if they are a size 12 get them a pack of size 22 knickers or nightie or if they are size 18 get them a size 6 crop top etc...

Cheap random bath stuff (from say boots 3 for offers etc...) is another classic 'I had to but didnt want to' gift.

@mam0918

I appreciate your deviousness. This is precisely the sort of line I was hoping to go down.

One sock? Something home-made - badly? Packaged food past its use-by date? Half used bottle of lotion?

A thriller with the last chapter missing?

Framed picture drawn by a small child?

@titchy

Framed picture drawn by a small child?

Oh we might be winning here!

Their OWN CHIILD'S artwork as a Mug etc

I have received turkey lifters and a tiny frilly apron (think old fashioned tearoom where the customers wear hats but take their coats off), gifted after Christmas dinner so not even useful.

I would have to ask for artwork though, so potential to backfire.

A man's nose hair trimmer seems apt here

@TedTookVows

I would have to ask for artwork though, so potential to backfire.

How about a random child's artwork? 'To TedTookVows' Auntie Gladys From Bertie'

An unflattering photo of them on a mug?

Varicose vein treatment, but something really cheap off wish or aliexpress

A low calorie/dieting recipe book?

Bog standard aeroplane support stockings

Mug with an irrelevant slogan eg " Happy 25th Anniversary". Or similar but as a photo frame.

Tin of Roses/quality street sweets etc

@mam0918 has inspired me with the gift cards - how about for a shop is the polar opposite to what they enjoy? Sports shop for a couch potato, Thornton's for health conscious, primark if normally high end, local mega pricy boutique if they are a bargain Hunter....

I’ve offended 2 people in the past (unwittingly) one was a fossil -I thought it was interesting but they took offence and one was expensive/trendy face cream, also offended but in my family we love that sort of ‘treat’ oops.

Unflattering photo on a mug
Moustache removing cream
Enormous ugly knickers
Teatowels

I have a member of family like this. I give them what they gave me last year.

I think you've answered your own question: www.gallerygiftsonline.co.uk/products/poisoned-chalice?utm_campaign=gs-2020-11-26&utm_source=google&utm_medium=smart_campaign

Boots 3 for 2 suggested by a PP is a good one, just make sure to leave the green sticker on.

Me and DH once received Cards Against Humanity from a family member who isn't exactly the nicest person alive. Tag line in the box is 'a party game for horrible people'. Still not sure if she thought we'd like the game or if it was a roundabout way of insulting us...

Please buy this.

Don't waste hard-earned money getting her a gift to show how much you hate her. Get something useful:

• a toilet brush
• a subscription to The WatchTower magazine
• an English translation of the complete sayings of Buddha
• a plastic jack-o-lantern pumpkin full of Halloween candy

Oh, oh, oh actually I'd buy them an innocuous mug with a donkey on it...... you know, because they're an ass.