Very Tricky Gift To Buy

[TedTookVows]

There is a member of my extended family who I really really dislike. They are a horror and I feel like I could go further but I won't. I severely limit all contact with them, but (usually) can't get out of Christmas.

I tend to operate a "if they go low you go high" principle with them but I am worn down by the way they continuously deliberately passive aggressively insult me via gifts. Recent past include : a single wrapped sweet that only comes in a larger multibag, amongst a box of tat, regifted shot glasses that someone else bought them (I don't do shots) and airfreshener.

Believe me this person is the worst.

So basically I need a "poison chalice" gift.

Please list gifts that looked good and you thought would be good but were in fact the worst eg bath salts that gave you thrush

(lighthearted)

The single floral wine glass previously suggested is genius.

I'm now wondering if you could find something truly awful on a facebook tat selling thread closer to Christmas.

I went looking for ugly embellished, crocheted coat hangers like my vile MIL gave my DD2. (Undoubtedly available at every charity store in the universe - Etsy if you’re desperate. Some are worse than others.) Fell down a rabbit hole and found this.

I really do rate the charity donation idea. I think that would actually be more passive aggressive than giving a crap gift in this instance.

Its not always as simple as this.

This person is a part of my family

Then isn't it better just to get a pleasant present?

@xjox1983

These lol

@TedTookVows this but be subtle. Buy these, a pretty glass kiln jar and layer them with other sweets

I’d definitely do an infamous gift, it’s nice for the charity but a bit of a crappy gift if you’re not into that sort of thing. The pile of poo one looks suitable
onlineshop.oxfam.org.uk/pile-of-poo/product/OU1007ML?recset=88e3ee0%3A17c4083a61e%3A2633-40

Infamous= charity 🙄 auto correct

Single worst gift I’ve had - cellulite cream and a massager from dhs elderly grandmother.

.although for some reason known only to herself my mother sent me this this summer.

It’s about 18 inches tall!

@Jumpingintosummer

Heroic

@RJnomore1 that made me properly ROFL.

@ButtonMoonLoon
Brilliant!

Have sat and giggled out loud, great suggestions.

I think going into a charity shop you support and choosing something random and very unattractive for £5 or £10 would mean you can feel pleased you are supporting a charity plus feel confident you have got something they won't like....

Or continuing with the charity theme, how about this very worthwhile charity gift (you can get them to send you a card keep clean gift and wrap it along with a bar of germicidal sulphur soap soap

Otherwise how about a Christmas themed present and give it to them with a comment about how much you so love Christmas presents.
What about a festive loo cover
Xmas loo cover
Or a black Santa hat, make sure you do lots of ho ho hoing as you give it them.
black Santa hat

A subscription to something they’ll hate, then you can piss them off monthly.

Hayfever? Get them a monthly flower delivery
Hate coffee? regular coffee delivery
On a diet- chocolates

The possibilities are endless.

@TaraR2020

Its not always as simple as this.

This person is a part of my family

Then isn't it better just to get a pleasant present?

Read the OP again. I take the high road every year and I am done in.

I think the charity donation is the best ide as it's actually doing some good

I'm sure that on eBay you can find decades-old toiletries or gift packs or stationery items that would be perfect

Something that used to be really popular, but is so naff that you can't get them anywhere these days unless someone on ebay's found them under their bed?

Bath pearls - that have gone faintly squidgy with little dents in them. Those packs of square bath salt cubes that were popular in the 1980s. Embroidered doilies for the top of one's chest of drawers.
Some kind of polyester underslip from the St Michael 1987 range.
A really cheap digital watch.
One of those "executive toys" from the 1980s, like a Newton's Cradle or that thing with pins you push your face into.

So many possibilities!

More ideas:
--a cheap salad spinner
--a cactus in a garishly decorated pot (fashionable! but says "you are spiky" )
--a really cheap perfume/body spray from the 1908s and 1990s, like Exclamation or Impulse
--something that tastes really strong like a virulently flavoured chilli oil - bonus points if you're regifting it yourself
--a very large box of extremely cheap chocolates, like a really giant box of Dairy Milk (obvs not if they would actually like this, though)
--some kind of unwanted exercise object
--a novel by someone famous they would absolutely hate, like Nadine Dorries or Ann Widdecombe

MIL once bought me rubber car mats for the car for Christmas. I was surprised to see how expensive they are in Halfords

Buttonmoonloon Love the Oxfam pile of poo. Brilliant idea and very reasonable.

Just saw this and thought of this thread

www.prices-candles.co.uk/product/chefs-reed-diffuser/

Here is one of the reviews "Wish I had read the reviews first SO DISAPPOINTED it smells like very cheap pine toilet cleaner" .

Haven’t RTFT, sorry. I would sponsor something they don’t like. An endangered animal, child’s education in a third world country. Or an experience like parachute jump.

Just go to a charity shop and try to find the worst thing you can for under £5
Donate to charity
Donate to a charity they hate
Do the shoebox appeal on their behalf - at least a child gets a gift and they’ve got nothing
Just wrap something up from your house? A book you’ve finished with, toiletries or makeup you’ve opened already or that wouldn’t work for them or would be insulting (caffeine shampoo, extra strong deodorant, lipstick in a terrible colour), a pack of toilet paper,
Some old holey pjs or an item of clothing you’ve spilled something on.
Used kitchen utensil from your house
Something for a pet they don’t have?
2nd hand dvd or cds they don’t have a player for.
a candle - home bargain do some for £1. Not a ‘bad’ gift? But just cheap for you and looks like you’ve not been petty

Something personalised but their name spelt wrong or just totally the wrong name

Buy yourself a gift and swap them? So they get back the gift for you, and you get a gift you want, deny all knowledge, insist you bought the gift they got you. Thank them for your lovely gift

Actually let me give you some of the classics I've had from BIL and SIL

extra long length pyjamas from Peacocks. I'm 5'1". A compact mirror that was 'not for resale'. A £3 Baylis and Harding tin. A random jar of Chutney.

Bearing in mind she's had joules, Crabtree and Evelyn, Radley etc from me. I've found a really awful Ted Baker perfume that was £4 in Boots but I got it for a quid. That's her present sorted.

I think the charity gifts are the best. Especially the ‘sponsor a loo/goat/recycling centre’ type thing, or something they hate but you support (unless that’s going to trigger a 4 hour monologue about how the RNLI should stop helping migrants or how food banks are only used by scroungers 🙄)

Alternatively if you actually need to get them something:

• A bottle of cheap (and weird) booze with a tombola ticket still stuck on it.
• Something random from your house (ideally something big or a massive box filled with tat you were planning to take to a jumble sale).
• Take your children to a charity shop and have a competition for who can find the weirdest thing for under £10.
• Videos/Tapes (even if you don’t have any I’m sure you’ll have a friend who is willing to donate).
• A CD of classic car engine noises (my dad was once given this for Christmas by a slightly dotty aunt, it is literally just 3 hours of car engine noises).
• All his previous gifts to you rewrapped and presented in a lovely gift bag.
• Homemade chutney (my mum has a recipe for marrow chutney that was genuinely the worst thing I’ve ever eaten, it also went mouldy after about 2 weeks).
• Large piece of ‘art’ from the poundshop/Primark home. Ideally with a naff inspirational saying.
• A picture of your grinning face printed onto a mug/cushion/teatowel.
• Lynx Africa gift set