Poncetastic Christmas 2021

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2021 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she is), at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

@HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule.
It does look a bit shallow, can you put some more boring pebbles underneath ?

November isn't almost over, we're exactly half way through 😅

For the mince pie tray, have you tried rubbing the affected area directly with a dishwasher tab?

@Trumpton It might look shallower than it is - It’s a big bowl; the pebbles are about 4cm/1.6” deep, maybe a bit more and I actually took some pebbles out because I thought it was too deep compared to your photos so I could add them back in. Let me know, ta so much! 💐🎄

@Trumpton I am trying your paperwhites for Christmas. I've got my vases, I've got my pebbles, I've got the bulbs...may I ask a question, does the water need to be slightly touching the bottom of the bulbs? I worried about the bulbs getting wet and rotten, but also thinking if they don't touch the water how will they grow? Please help!

Loving this thread - DS is finally at an age where he can get involved without complete chaos. So this year I'm hoping to get some traditions set in. We'll be making mincemeat this weekend - but DS doesn't eat mince pies, does anyone know of a kid friendly alternative filling we could make/buy as he loves baking and will be marking several batches with me?

@badmarciathemarsha

Loving this thread - DS is finally at an age where he can get involved without complete chaos. So this year I'm hoping to get some traditions set in. We'll be making mincemeat this weekend - but DS doesn't eat mince pies, does anyone know of a kid friendly alternative filling we could make/buy as he loves baking and will be marking several batches with me?

Apple pies with Christmas spices?

Marzipan/frangipane.

Thanks for the ideas
Will try those and see how he goes, marzipan might appeal.

I always cut up an apple and add some cinnamon for DDs non-mince pies. Don't precook the apple or anything, but it does need cutting up quite small, I have grated it in the past too which works well.

Red cabbage is on the go! It smells amazing! 😋

PAPERWHITES!!!

@HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule
That’s fine I have about the same depth.
@snowgirl1 I put the water just touching the base of the bulbs.

The responsibility of this is immense !

I added the rest of the pebbles after all. Couldn’t be doing with the uncertainty.

@badmarciathemarsha

www.sainsburysmagazine.co.uk/recipes/desserts/mini-apple-and-blackberry-crumble-pies

My kids always liked a good old jam tart. You could cut shapes for the top?
www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/little-jam-tarts/amp

Like these from Cooking for Oscar?

I’m loving seeing all of your gorgeous craft projects. I’m not much of a cook other than making a few Christmas bits in advance to freeze, so my ponciness is pretty much all craft related.

I ordered myself a new nativity set from here which should arrive this week. I’ve wanted one of his nativities since I saw him on Songs of Praise a couple of years ago and thought I’d finally treat myself to one.

I blocked my crochet trees and snowflakes yesterday which are now looking much better. The snowflakes are going on hooks in the windows, I think for the trees I might sew buttons onto Christmas ribbon to hang them from along the mantelpiece. I’ve been knitting mini stockings for the DC’s to hang on the tree which will have chocolate in them and just need to finish the last one. I still need to do my paperwhites which I should manage tomorrow, and make the stuffing now I’ve finally remembered to order the sausagemeat!

I think we’re going to cave and put the decorations up later in the week. It’s been a rubbish year tbh, my disabled DS had a fall and broke his leg earlier in the year and spent all of Easter in hospital, losing what little walking ability he had and now won’t walk again. DH has been off for 6 weeks with severe back pain and leg weakness, is signed off up until Christmas and is currently awaiting an urgent MRI. I know it’s early but I honestly don’t see much wrong with doing what makes you happy

@SevenSwansASwimming go for it! That sounds like a really tough year for all of you. I hope your dh gets the help he needs soon and that you all have a much better 2022

Thanks for the links @OnTheHillNotOverIt
Those should do the trick

Ohhh am I too late to join?? This is exactly my sort of thing, and to many people think I’m ridiculous!

I’m struggling with wrapping paper this year, I like to have a theme and stick to recyclable paper, but I like to get crafty if I can! It’s my first Christmas with a dp at my ‘family home’ so I want it to be really special. I have a cricut machine so maybe people’s names cut on in card on the presents? I don’t know.

I've just stuck two trays of orange slices into the oven to dry out. I've another few oranges to do tomorrow; sadly, they'd all fit in the oven but I only have two big flat cookie trays. And it doesn't make sense to buy more when this is the only thing I'd ever use that many for.

The kids and I are making red and white paper chains and little foldy accordiony things. I wanted to do snowflakes but they both declared them to be too hard (at 11 and 9!). But they're enjoying the chains and folding, so I won't have to force them to do them and pretend we're having fun.

Both kids are at home with a snotfest at the moment, but when they're back in school, I'm going to have myself a nice peaceful day wrapping things. I have the paper ready. I'll enjoy knowing that's done. Come to think of it, I'll need to pop to the attic and find the red and white twine to tie them with. I'm thinking of trying to not use tape, just for adventure's sake.

I'm going to make the christmas cake tomorrow; the fruit has been soaking for a few weeks and I put the spices and zest in a couple of days ago, so I just need to mix flour, eggs, butter and sugar, throw in the bag of fruit and bake it. I love this approach, it's never overwhelming.

The most important part of my poncing at the moment is that DH has nearly finished putting the halloween decorations in the attic

@UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername you’ll enjoy this photo then...

Yesterday’s poncing produced these, errr, lovely specimens. Drying citrus fruits seems to be my nemesis - I tried twice last year as well. It’s the easiest thing in the world to do but the same thing happens every time: I follow instructions, set timer, come back to check at allocated point and think oh they just need a little longer to be just the right shade of golden, let me just give them five more minutes... forget to set the timer walk away and forget all about them.

I’m not wasting these - I shall paint them with glitter and use them anyway.

Oh @HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule that was like me and my mince pies!

Thank you for the cleaning tips by the way, I tried a combination of rubbing them with a dishwasher tablet then heating up in a larger roasting tray of water in the oven and they've come up perfect!

I've had a nice morning making up pigs in blankets with DD2 for the freezer and I've started some wrapping whilst she's having a nap, so all DC's stocking presents wrapped (in red and white paper sweet bags) and all but one of DH's presents wrapped (I'm still waiting for delivery of the last one.)

Ok, trying to post a photo of my first stocking!

Oooh, @LaChatte that's amazing! I love the toe end!

I bought my first Christmas gift today - a not very poncy signed edition of Red, Taylor's Version. With dd1 hanging over my shoulder the whole time to check I was actually pressing the checkout button 🙄

@LaChatte that stocking looks amazing!

I made my mince pies and they've already been eaten! 😂

Thank you😊 ! I made it up as I went along with scraps I had lying around of which I have a lot because I may have mild hoarding tendencies when it comes to crafting .
Our mince pies were all eaten before they even had the chance to cool down 😂.