Poncetastic Christmas 2021

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2021 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she is), at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

@StormyCornishSeas thank you!!

@plominoagain could you share your recipe for Christmas cake cupcakes? They should fab!

@plominoagain
Bakeart Christmas Sprinkle Green Holly and Red Berry Christmas Cupcake Sprinkles Edible Sugar Toppers Decoration Green Red Holly Berries | 60g BA103008 https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08L9M37JB/ref=cmswwrcppapiglttfabcYRXT3714PNA0XXG24K3V

I ordered some plain cardboard christmas tree shaped gift tags, they arrived today and I am thinking to bling them up a bit, maybe use a small brush to add a smidge of gold but what would be the best thing to use, something like embossing powder, pigment powder, gold leaf pieces? Has anyone ever tried this and have any suggestions please?I would like it to be quite subtle, planning to use a metallic gold acrylic pen to do the writing on the tags.

@noodledoodler. Thanks ! I’d started looking at Amazon but I’d only found the lighter coloured green ones before I got distracted by bauble sprinkles …. Which would be glorious for a gingerbread house were I so inclined !

@maisydaisy64

I use a Christmas cake recipe which I found in a pages stuck together magazine when we cleared out my nan’s house after she died many years ago . She was a Christmas baker extraordinaire who used to bake for our whole family and neighbours , laying out all the ingredients of a huge sheet in her lounge on a Saturday afternoon , so she could stir everything together whilst watching the wrestling . I’ll dig it out , but essentially it’s Christmas cake batter spooned into muffin cases , baked until they’re lightly springy and then iced with thick fondant icing and Holly berries . I did it last year as there was little point making a huge cake when no one was visiting , so I made a half cake and used the rest of the batter for these as a bit of an experiment , not expecting much . And they dispappeared in two days .

@plominoagain; Lakeland have these.www.lakeland.co.uk/32809/6-Wreath-and-Holly-Mix-Sugarcraft-Cake-Toppers

Does anyone know where I could find some lovely stick on Christmas labels? Probably not very poncetastic, but I have a problem with one of my wrists so wrapping has to be as simple as possible this year and I have a lot of presents to wrap! I remember buying some lovely retro style sticky labels from my local bookshop a couple of years ago but can't remember the brand and nor can they!

@Pippi1970 is there anything at The Works that would suit? A few of these options are self adhesive. Failing that, I bought a roll of Christmas sticky labels from Amazon a couple of years ago - they're still in use because I don't need to label many presents.

These are rather lovely @Pippi1970 but not cheap at £12.99 for 100 😱. Definitely fit the poncetastic description though!

Ooh can I join in? Im making Xmas cross stitch pictures instead of cards. Last year they were in hoops to hand from the tree. I only make them for special people though!

I forgot to come back and show off my little house now the doors are attached. I'm planning to display it on a silver cake board (with the other parts of the village, not just on its own!) with some "snow" and a couple of battery tea lights.

I did realise earlier on though that the cabinet I was planning to display it on, is likely to have the tree in front of it, so now I'm not sure where to put it 🙄

My dad brought me a grow your own amaryllis (sp?) the other day; I'm not sure it's doing anything but I've planted it so will see what it does.

I need to vaguely think about dd2's birthday as well as Christmas (28thDec). So far I've got a diy balloon arch & squirrelled away some birthday decorations.

I wondered if any of you have a cheap to make mincemeat recipe? I'm quite taken with the idea after reading Nigel's chapter about it but not sure I can justify spending much really.

I still forgot my pic ffs 🤣🙄

@lucysmam they’re fab! No help on the mincemeat recipe, I make Delias normally bit can’t comment on the economics of it!! Though, my gran went through a phase of mixing cheap shop bought mince meat with homemade stuff to get more out of it. She used make a lot of mince pies though so that may not be ideal!

@plominoagain thank you, it would never have dawned on me but I will definitely try them, they should great!

Lovely story about your gran and her baking, it’s nice to keep the traditions alive in some way isn’t it!?

Paperwhites

I start mine on clean pebbles. Water just under base of bulbs. These will go in cool outhouse ( garage will do) not too bright. When the shoots are 3 inches high and they are well rooted I bring them into the warmer house. They should romp away. I will talk about feeding them alcohol at that point

Photo

@Trumpton do you just sit the bulbs on the pebbles?

@maisiedaisy64 I think that might wind up costing me more. Maybe I'll keep that one as a "thinking about" until finances improve 🤔

I have a gift idea for dd1 but am not sure if it's a bit naff...tea's just about ready but I'll pop back later and see what you all think...

Loving all these lovely photos 😍

@lucysmam you can buy a jar of mincemeat and jazz it up quite significantly by adding extra orange zest, some extra booze (I think?) and/or more nuts and more aromatics. I’ll see if I can find you a recipe, I’m sure I’ve read a one somewhere that didn’t cost much at all but gave more of that homemade taste to homemade mince pies. And if you have most of the things in your cupboard you might only have to buy an orange or something.

Might’ve been on a Poncetastic thread last year or previously, actually...

Will read back through the thread later, excited to see photos!😍

@kagerou

It's my daughter's first Christmas and my first Christmas since moving back to the UK after years of living abroad.

I have aspirations for it to be poncetastic. What would you experts say was essential?

Also does anyone have a good tried and tested recipe (preferably vegan) for Christmas cake that I can lovingly make in advance and feed alcohol to until xmas?

I think I've found my people!

@kagerou I used this recipe last year and it turned out really nice: www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/vegan-christmas-cake

I was planning to make it this weekend but I can't for the life of me find proper mixed dried fruits anywhere (we're in the USA) and I suspect that I've left it too late to get some posted over!

I want to go very classic for decorations this year - I'm thinking popcorn garlands, paper chains and dried orange slices. And I want making them all to be a family affair with festive music and drinks

@HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule ooh yes, that might suit this year better!

Ok, so, my gift idea for dd1 that I'm not sure if it's a bit naff is her own recipe notebook. Mine is battered & almost as old as she is but regularly referred to by us both. She keeps suggesting that I need a new one (I don't) with Christmas recipes together at the back. So...to my point...is a nice notebook with my Christmas recipes at the back, for her to add to at the front, a bit naff?

Fantastic thread! Only just discovered it. I'll just admire you all from afar!

In my head I aspire to be poncetastic, and even managed it one Christmas to some extent.

In reality I am phobic of Christmas preparations. Mid December has always seen me still pushing myself to get on with sending cards, and second guessing the presents I've bought people..

Though I love cooking Christmas Dinner

[quote lucysmam]@HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule ooh yes, that might suit this year better!

Ok, so, my gift idea for dd1 that I'm not sure if it's a bit naff is her own recipe notebook. Mine is battered & almost as old as she is but regularly referred to by us both. She keeps suggesting that I need a new one (I don't) with Christmas recipes together at the back. So...to my point...is a nice notebook with my Christmas recipes at the back, for her to add to at the front, a bit naff?[/quote]
🎄🎄🎄I think it’s a great idea, not naff at all.

Oh! I know I replied to @lucysmam but it’s not here!
Yes put the Paperwhites on top of the pebbles nestle them in a bit but they will soon grow roots and settle in.
These are last years on the 28th November .
Excuse the windows, we were/are still having major building works done !

Sorry I forgot to compress photo !