Poncetastic Christmas 2021

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2021 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she is), at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Hello everyone!🎄🎄🎄

I’m not feeling poncey at all atm, except for food/drinks-wise. But I’m being thwarted at every turn and none of my plans have gone through yet. Then I suddenly realised it was the 11th and I was sure that’s the date you said you do your paperwhites @Trumpton...is it? I can’t remember, have you posted a link somewhere with instructions, or are you able to write it out in detail* pretty please and TVMIA? I think I’d like to get those done tonight if indeed my memory serves me correctly.

*chronic over-thinker and worrier, particularly when doing something I’ve never done before

@DanceWithYourBalloon I had planned to do ours today as well but it’s been bumped to Sunday. I love the ritual of it and the magic when it all comes together so wonderfully.

It's my daughter's first Christmas and my first Christmas since moving back to the UK after years of living abroad.

I have aspirations for it to be poncetastic. What would you experts say was essential?

Also does anyone have a good tried and tested recipe (preferably vegan) for Christmas cake that I can lovingly make in advance and feed alcohol to until xmas?

I have found my people!!!!!
Why have I never stumbled on this thread before?! I’m going to savour it and read every single post. So far I’m still on Septembers postings but already want the felted ornaments kit

@kagerou use any old Christmas cake recipe but substitute the butter for vegan flora and egg for vegan egg substitute.

Pippi that drink sounds lovely - I may have to try it* *

@DanceWithYourBalloon I don't have a pattern sorry - my wreath is essentially 3 rows of increasing crocodile stitch that I will turn into a wreath by sewing the ends together then adding some sparkly yarn berries. I'll post a pic when it's done - I'm currently around halfway through the c2c cushion I'll be sewing the wreath on to.

@HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule
PAPERWHITES !
I will put up instructions tomorrow. In between a rotten night and 6 phone calls from mil and a dgc after school and then a panic phone call from mil who was having a nosebleed and the plasterer and painter in ( different rooms) I didn’t get them going today !

Oh my goodness that’s quite a day!! Hope you have a peaceful evening.🍸 I’m secretly happy that I don’t have to do it tonight...

@kagerou I agree with @Christmas1988 - you can get crackd egg replacer in M&S or a powder one in Holland & Barrett, but I’d just use your usual recipe if you have one as it’s supposed to be a dense cake anyway so it won’t be noticeable if it doesn’t rise much.

I don't ever do any poncing about at Christmas, I still operate as though its about 1950, when things were simple and lovely. A few handmade gifts were made for family. Dads or Grandads, went out to buy a little Christmas tree from the market about three days before christmas,maybe they were selling them off cheaper then. Home made christmas decorations were made by the children, to string up around the living room. A chicken was bought a day or so before christmas day,if you were lucky,. Everyone got quite excited with all these things, happening just before Christmas, and nobody anywhere, ever got stressed up about anything at all.

That's really interesting 1forAll1974. My friends think I'm some sort of 1950's throwback for doing the sort of things we are talking about on this thread. I have made Christmas decorations and gifts (I'll be knitting socks to go in my DD's Christmas stockings as soon as I've finished the cardigans I'm making for two of my great-nephews) and I make a great deal of the food that we will eat over the festive season from scratch. From what you have said in your post it sounds like you are doing the same.

Sorry I miss typed your username 1forAll74

1forAll74 I don't think this is the thread for you - the point of it is that everyone posts about the different ways they enjoy Christmas and the extra things they do to make it special. I've been on the the threads for a few years now and it's always understood that there is no right or wrong way to do it.

I thoroughly enjoy a poncetastic Christmas and as Woolly said, for most people here it means doing a lot of what you seem to like - making things from scratch and making thoughtful gifts etc

@1forAll74

I don't ever do any poncing about at Christmas, I still operate as though its about 1950, when things were simple and lovely. A few handmade gifts were made for family. Dads or Grandads, went out to buy a little Christmas tree from the market about three days before christmas,maybe they were selling them off cheaper then. Home made christmas decorations were made by the children, to string up around the living room. A chicken was bought a day or so before christmas day,if you were lucky,. Everyone got quite excited with all these things, happening just before Christmas, and nobody anywhere, ever got stressed up about anything at all.

The epitome of this thread then, give it take? I'm not quite sure what point you're actually trying to make!

Anyway...I've made my baking list now and done a shopping list of the bits I need to fulfil said baking. I'm trying to add a few new things to my usuals as it's easy to get into a rut, I think.

@NoWordForFluffy
What are you baking?
I love being nosey as it gives me ideas! 🎅🏻

I'm doing:

Spicy nuts
Parmesan Madeleines
Chocolate orange cheesecake
Bacon chilli jam
Jamaican stuffing
Pecan and cranberry cookies
Banana and white chocolate blonde
Almond-topped mince pies
Chocolate coins
Rocky Road
Brownies
Cinnamon rolls.

Blondie, not blonde!

...And I know where Fluffy lives, so we can organise a coach trip to sample her baking.

@PussyCatEatingPigsInBlankets
Can I reserve a seat on the coach? 🙋🏻‍♀️

@NoWordForFluffy
Bacon chilli jam! What is this sorcery? 🤤

Hello!! Been lurking since September but go caught up with the posts yesterday, and started some poncing today!

My gran passed away in 2019, and had fab red velvet curtains in her living room. They were homeless after her house was cleared out, and I took them to make Christmas stockings from. I made a trial one this evening, and my plan is to make enough for all her grand kids/great grandchildren if they’d like one! She always wanted to meet a great grandchild, though none of us obliged before she passed away...she knew my SIL was expecting but she never got to meet the baby. I just it would be a nice way to remember her...and stop the curtains being thrown out!!

Has anyone any suggestions on fake fur or other trimmings? The fur I have seems to shed a lot and it’s a very stark white. I was also planning on adding initials or names to them, possibly those little wooden letters, possibly painted. Oh and ribbon to hang them with! I must investigate!

@DanceWithYourBalloon, here!

@maisiedaisy64

Hello!! Been lurking since September but go caught up with the posts yesterday, and started some poncing today!

My gran passed away in 2019, and had fab red velvet curtains in her living room. They were homeless after her house was cleared out, and I took them to make Christmas stockings from. I made a trial one this evening, and my plan is to make enough for all her grand kids/great grandchildren if they’d like one! She always wanted to meet a great grandchild, though none of us obliged before she passed away...she knew my SIL was expecting but she never got to meet the baby. I just it would be a nice way to remember her...and stop the curtains being thrown out!!

Has anyone any suggestions on fake fur or other trimmings? The fur I have seems to shed a lot and it’s a very stark white. I was also planning on adding initials or names to them, possibly those little wooden letters, possibly painted. Oh and ribbon to hang them with! I must investigate!

What a lovely way to remember your gran and her curtains 🥰🥰🥰

@kagerou I made this vegan recipe last year it was a great success. My non vegan parents had one too and really enjoyed it. This year I made 2/3 of the recipe for a loaf tin size. You can freestyle on the fruit, up to the specified weight, I love dates so added plenty.

domesticgothess.com/blog/2018/11/10/vegan-christmas-cake/

Last years was fed with Lidl spiced rum, this years is a bit of a mishmash of rum, amaretto and chambord.

Red velvet stockings - what a gorgeous idea !

I have an extra day off tomorrow , and am planning on it being baking day 1 . This week’s been a bit fraught and I’m feeling the need to channel my inner Nigella and waft about strewing icing sugar and clearing my kitchen dresser so I can get the fairy lights out.

Christmas cake and mincemeat creation tomorrow . The fruit’s been soaked for about three weeks - only because my first baking day got postponed - so is good to go . Am planning on repeating my Christmas cake cupcakes this year after last years surprising success , so am currently trying to find tiny sugar holly sprigs to go on top so they look like mini Christmas puddings . I think I found them in a sugarcraft shop in Barnes that I think has closed so I need to find a new outlet .