Poncetastic Christmas 2021

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2021 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she is), at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

@StormyCornishSeas it’s a very handsome book isn’t it. I’ve got mine on my side table waiting for the 15th to start the readalong.🎄

G-Nome ( as they are known in this house) in the making.

❤️❤️❤️

I really want to crochet lovely little things like that but I’m just so impatient/perfectionist and have never got beyond very basic level (like literally beginner) 🙁 please could someone tell me, if I want to make the snowflakes from the instruction video posted here, what size needle and wool would I need? TIA 🎄

@HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule I'd go with a 4mm hook and some double knitting (DK) yarn and use the Attic24 photo tutorial and instructions.

The absolute best thing you can do for snowflakes is blocking. I block mine on a folded bath sheet. Dampen them first and pin them stretched out with rust proof pins until they are dry. You can spray them with starch to stiffen them or painting them with watered down PVA glue (maybe mixed with glitter) has the same effect.

Thank you very much @TheWoollybacksWife! This is going to be an expensive thread this year...

@TheWoollybacksWife is acrylic best? Or does it not matter? Sorry when I’m a beginner I ask millions of questions...

Acrylic would be perfect. If you've got a local wool shop then stylecraft special DK is perfect. It's about £2.20-£2.50 a ball and a crochet hook should only be a couple of pounds. Robin is another inexpensive brand. Your wool shop might have sparkly yarn which would look even better but might be better saved for when you are a bit more proficient. As long as you avoid textured yarn you'll be ok. You need smooth yarn to show the definition of the pattern so definitely avoid things like eyelash yarn (brands like Funky Fur - they look a bit like teddy fur when knitted or crocheted up)

Alternatively your local charity shop might be able to stock you up with everything you need to start off. You can practice with any colour yarn and then just buy some nice white stuff when you know what you are doing. You may need to ask at the counter - some charity shops keep knitting and crochet equipment under the counter as it's sharp.

Thank you! As it happens I’ve got a basketful at Hobbycraft just now so I can add it to that.

Omg @Trumpton I love those gnomes! I used to knit and crochet but it's been so long I'm not sure anything I make this year would be poncetastic worthy. I am jealous of all the gnomes and snowflakes though, especially the sparkly ones! I made paper ones a good few years ago though so I could make some of those again

I am so excited about my paperwhites, cant wait for them to arrive!!

These are the ones I made before, or similar, but I quite like this waldorf star, it looks a bit like stained glass

@Row1n I’m sure it’s like riding a bicycle! Why not try it and see.

My stamps arrived! I'm totally loving them!!! Have been practicing away while I work. Thanks again @SleighQueen

I've spent the morning sorting my laptop properly (fingers crossed!), making the gingerbread dough to freeze, and adding Christmas cake ingredients to my shopping list.

I've also read the first Christmas Chronicles book & am feeling quite content right now.

I think I'll re-write my lists after work, without all my scribblings, so I can easily see exactly where I am.

[quote HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule]**@Trumpton whilst you’re here, do you think my paperwhite bulbs will be okay to store until I need them? A couple were sprouting when I bought them so I’ve put them in the shed to keep them cold.

@JoyPeaceHope I always end up doing far less than I’d planned to. Mostly because I can’t help myself and spend what little money I have spare in Nov/Dec on buying in something new and shiny and poncey. Not in the spirit of things at all!! So this year I’m going to try hard to be good and spend that little bit on materials for crafting/making instead.[/quote]
I have bought some 'tazetta paperwhite' from Wilko's this morning and note they have also starting sprouting.

Any advice @Trumpton? My instinct tells me they'll be fine if kept in the cold for a month.

Also, thank you for your advice earlier in the thread on paperwhites. I am currently writing it all down in my newly started Christmas planning book. I hope for it to become a family heirloom of untold knowledge and Christmas delight.
I have recipes and tit bits of info in all sorts of places, so would like to collate it all together for the future.

I will most likely forget about it come November.

Hobbycraft order done!🎄🎄🎄

I’ve got the following coming:

Cross stitch kit for a Christmas card for DH’s gran. ✔️

Yarn and hook for snowflakes. ✔️

Clay and paints for making mini gingerbread village. ✔️

Blank cards and envelope for stamping. ✔️

So much hygge. Just need to be methodical and commit enough time to each one, starting this coming week, so that I don’t become overwhelmed...

@PooterLoop. Yup, keep ‘em cool !

@HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule I just went on a hunt for my old crochet hooks and theyre no where to be found so I may have to buy some - shame!

I love your holly and berry stamps @VivaJen

My bank card is eyeing me sideways anytime I go near it

Oh no @Row1n what a shame...

Anyone else making snowflakes, I was just in Poundland and they had a nice white acrylic DK with a shiny sparkle through it on 3 for £2

I had to resist for now as nowhere to put more yarn until I finish some projects!

I’m so glad we’ve no longer got a Poundland in town because that’s dangerous in the lead-up to Christmas!

Ooh I love a mooch in Poundland and The Works in the run up to Christmas @HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule! I bought some dinky sleighs to stand outside the gingerbread house, last time I was in the works and origami paper, and several embellishments that were on sale, and...

There's always something to be had.

Tbh, it's probably a good job I can't afford to randomly pop to town whenever the fancy takes me; I come back with all sorts I never knew I needed

I almost forgot; I have about 150ml of double cream left after making the gingerbread dough, this morning.

Any ideas for a festive (and freezeable) recipe to use it up in?

@lucysmam mincemeat icecream? I think Nigel slater has a recipe?

[quote TheWoollybacksWife]@HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule I'd go with a 4mm hook and some double knitting (DK) yarn and use the Attic24 photo tutorial and instructions.

The absolute best thing you can do for snowflakes is blocking. I block mine on a folded bath sheet. Dampen them first and pin them stretched out with rust proof pins until they are dry. You can spray them with starch to stiffen them or painting them with watered down PVA glue (maybe mixed with glitter) has the same effect. [/quote]
My wool is acrylic. Will dampening them be enough or do I have to hover with the iron?

@DanceWithYourBalloon just dampen them. Hovering over them should be ok but I find acrylic goes a bit floppy when exposed to heat. This could purely be down to my ironing technique That's fine for blankets but the snowflakes need a bit of definition.