Poncetastic 2020

[VivaJen]

I came on looking for the annual thread but can't find it so here is the start (courtesy of Fellatio - wherever you are)

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

My friend has a lovely expensive nativity . Every year her boys steal baby Jesus and replace him with a satsuma .
Then they hide him and feign ignorance !
I have told her that baby Jesus should not go in the scene until Christmas Day which might stop the kidnapping but she won’t listen ! [ grin]

I had a good laugh at the satsuma baby Jesus! 😂

Just seen this online. Must be a way to do similar at home if anyone is interested. I like the idea of a shiny gold spray!

www.oka.com/product/pair-of-ivenack-acorn-candle-holders/

I think more is more should be the motto for this lovely thread, as per PPs.

Also, if anyone sees good Scandi style gnomes, whether on sale or to make, I’d be very grateful for a steer in the right direction. I haven’t seen any for a while.

@StargazyDrifter
This is the Scandi gnome I want to do this year...

I had 100 LED lights on my 6ft tree and it seemed like too few, even though they were very bright, they were quite far apart on the cable and if I had more I could put them on the insides as well as the outsides of the branches and they would look a bit less sparse. Given the lights were bought from Wilkinsons just before Christmas the year before last, my existing lights decided to pack up and there weren’t many to choose from left in the shops! So I’ll go for 200 and put up the 100 on a local selling site.

Beautiful decorations everyone!

I make my own mincemeat, I’ve just made 5 jars. I find that the recipe requires more sherry than stated, in fact twice as much, as the dried fruits tend to absorb quite a lot.

I'm still scrolling ebay for decorations & came across these snowflakes (see attached bad picture) that I thought might look pretty dangling from the ceiling but, does anyone have any idea how I'd get them to stick up there? Pushing 30 push pins into the ceiling doesn't appeal to my right thumb

I forgot the picture ffs

That's genius, @doodlejump1980! I need some evergreens! 😂😂

Command hooks, @lucysmam?

I've got those snowflakes- I just kind of dangle them from the box thing at the top of our windows that hold the blind when it's rolled up.
Scandi gnomes- I use a few Scandi style websites and most have gnomes galore. I'll check my email as I can't remember the companies.
I am loving the Jesus Satsuma.

@NoWordForFluffy they'd cost me a fortune for 30 wouldn't they?

@lucysmam
White blue tac ?

If you only need the little ones they aren't too bad. I got some bargain ones from Wilko and the last lot were an Amazon bargain.

@lucysmam could you use fishing line stretched across the ceiling between command hooks (or small screw hooks if you don’t mind holes). Then attach the snowflakes to the fishing line at intervals.

@NoWordForFluffy

First batch of sausage rolls made for freezing! They smell amazing!

They look delicious. Please can you share the recipe? Thanks.

Wonderful thread. Please could you treat me like the inept clueless person I am. Anything you've made please share recipes as the thought of making my own stuffing, raspberry vodka, mince pies and possibly Christmas cake (not sure I'm capable of that!) fill me with pleasure and I hope for my husband to look at my labour of love with heartfelt admiration 😃

@Grrrpredictivetex, here's the sausage roll recipe.

@Grrrpredictivetex I find Christmas cake easier than sponge cake. There's two simple steps - soaking the fruit and mixing the cake. It uses plain flour so there's no danger of it not rising or indeed sinking if you open the oven door. Delia's Christmas cake is often recommended as her recipe talks you through every step.

You can buy ready rolled icing and marzipan at the supermarket and eBay has a range of pre-printed toppers that would give a professional looking finish. Bit of ribbon and you're done.

@Grrrpredictivetex go back a couple of pages, TheWoollyBacksWife posted simple stuffing instructions that I plan to try out this weekend :)

I use Delia's Christmas cake recipe - I've sort of adjusted it over the years to suit the people I make for but it's dead simple. Use ready rolled icing & marzipan. Poundland had some little figures and trees the other day so I picked some up to top ours. I just need ribbon now. And to actually make them!

@thelegohooverer good idea, I have some invisible thread lurking somewhere! I'll have a hunt for it later & put it with the rest of my Christmas stuff.

Loving all of the fireplaces, beautiful.

I have finished soldering my gift tags. Here is a picture of one. Hoping some of the family will like them as decorations after.

@NoWordForFluffy
@TheWoollybacksWife
@lucysmam
Thank you all so much.

Lucysmam I saw some very small Command hooks on Amazon, 50 for £5.25.

TrickyD, that's actually less than I expected!

I have conifers in the front garden that I'm going to have to make into gnomes now. So I need some sort of waterproof fabric?