Do you plate up or does everyone help themselves?

[AndThereSaw]

and if everyone helps themselves do they do that from a dresser or do you put the dishes in the middle of the table to pass round?

I've always been a 'middle of the table' person. I've raised my DC with 'take as much as you know you will eat and try a tiny bit of everything' at most meal times and have never considered serving a big meal any other way.

My DM (18th Christmas in a row as a guest in my home) has said that 'people don't like it' and 'she only serves herself to be polite' and 'You aren't hosting properly if it isn't plated'.

My issues with my DM aside (honestly MN doesn't have the space) is there any truth in this pronouncement? If so, and you plate up for your guests, how do you keep it hot/cater for likes and dislikes etc while you do them all?

I don't have staff and have too many guests to be able to get round the table to silver-serve, which I was quite good at as a student back in the day and I suspect might be what she's after. I can't believe that after all these years she is making me doubt myself. Hmmm.

I do serve yourself from large dishes.

However, a have a large enough table and I have an Aga type stove so I can warm the dishes before putting food in and keep them warm on top until they at taken to table. Plates can also be warmed up.

We have a huge variation in appetites at the table at Christmas so it just works well this way. Means dad isn't left starving and MIL isn't massively overfaced!

We serve ourselves from dishes in the middle of the table. It means people can choose what they like (move if it's something they love, nothing if they don't like it). They choose their own portion sizes too. It is kept warm for "seconds" if people want it. The leftovers are usable.

We’ve always helped ourselves, problem with plating up is you have to remember what everyone has and do3snt have. It’s better to help yourself 😊

We always serve ourselves. I hate it when I go to someone's for a meal and they serve me with a ready plated meal, it's almost always too much and then when I leave some because I'm full they enquire if I didn't like it.

I definitely prefer being able to help myself, think it's a lot easier, you take what you like and what you know you can eat, easier for the host too as they don't have to check what everyone wants on their plate

We used to have large family gatherings at christmas and the food would be in serving dishes in the middle of a very large table, it was great. You could choose what you wanted and how much etc....then we would sit at the table to eat.
If there is room then i would always go for the serve yourself option