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Original poster

Do you plate up or does everyone help themselves?

56 replies

AndThereSaw · 05/12/2018 14:14

and if everyone helps themselves do they do that from a dresser or do you put the dishes in the middle of the table to pass round?

I've always been a 'middle of the table' person. I've raised my DC with 'take as much as you know you will eat and try a tiny bit of everything' at most meal times and have never considered serving a big meal any other way.

My DM (18th Christmas in a row as a guest in my home) has said that 'people don't like it' and 'she only serves herself to be polite' and 'You aren't hosting properly if it isn't plated'.

My issues with my DM aside (honestly MN doesn't have the space) is there any truth in this pronouncement? If so, and you plate up for your guests, how do you keep it hot/cater for likes and dislikes etc while you do them all?

I don't have staff and have too many guests to be able to get round the table to silver-serve, which I was quite good at as a student back in the day and I suspect might be what she's after. I can't believe that after all these years she is making me doubt myself. Hmmm.

OP posts:
LookMoreCloselier · 05/12/2018 17:16

Much prefer plated for exactly the same reasons as Mr Grinch said, I'll take less if it's a help yourself.

In answer to your question above, heat plates and lay out on worktop, put potatoes on first as they retain heat longest then quickly just Chuck everything else on with very hot gravy last. If there's a lot of us then yes there will be three of four playing at once and then carrying to table.

MsSquiz · 05/12/2018 17:17

DH's mum plates up every Sunday for lunch when the family is there, and 2 or 3 family members will be there to bring plates through to the dining room.

I did an early Xmas lunch with my family (8 adults)
On Sunday and just put everything out on the side for everyone to serve themselves.

I prefer to the self service as that way people have what they want to eat on their plate and avoid what they don't want/like.
Every time I have had a meal at MIL's she put cauliflower on my plate and every week I leave it as I don't like it. She does the same with SIL who doesn't eat mashed potatoes.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 05/12/2018 17:23

You just go along every plate with each thing until they’re all played up. It’s not rocket science.

camelfinger · 05/12/2018 17:23

Plate up, I just want to get on with eating rather than endless passing about. And saves on washing up and the need to buy and store lots of serving dishes. Plus I don’t think my young DCs would take anything other than pigs on blankets.

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 05/12/2018 17:24

I plate up as the different dishes take up too much room on the table,I ask everyone what they would like beforehand

itbemay · 05/12/2018 17:25

everything on the side in the kitchen, everyone takes what they want then sits at table, i cover food with foil so keeps warm in case (when) all want 'seconds'

MissMarplesKnitting · 05/12/2018 17:27

Controversial but I leave it on the side and everyone helps themselves.

I am not buying, filling and washing serving dishes as well as everything else. No sir.

LittleLlamaontheduskyroad · 05/12/2018 17:27

I put dishes in the middle of the table & everyone helps themselves. I think it's more polite than plating up as there's no chance of you inadvertently offending someone by giving them too much or too little.

MysweetAudrina · 05/12/2018 17:28

I bought one of those catering chafing trays which has 4 compartments and you plug in to keep food warm.

I am going to set it up on the kitchen table so I can sit down in peace and enjoy my starter instead of rushing through it because i am worried about the timing of the main course.

I will have the plates beside it and I will serve it to each person and then they can go through to the dining room with their plate and go back out and get seconds if they want.

crrrzy · 05/12/2018 17:39

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

WWlOOlWW · 05/12/2018 17:47

With people I know- it's plate up. I know what they like and dislike and thier portion sizes. I always over cook slightly so extras are on offer if people are very hungry.

People I don't know very well or special occasions - food in dishes either on the side or on the middle of the table.

SheSellSeaShells · 05/12/2018 17:58

I plate up when its just me, partner and kids but when we have guests round I put food on the middle of the table for people to do themselves. Christmas I put it all on the breakfast bar for people to plate up themselves (I do the kids though) as not enough room on the dining table for it all. My mother always plates up for everyone which I don't really like - I have to search for food under all the gravy...

ohtheholidays · 06/12/2018 02:04

We've always done in the middle of the table,there's 7 of us,me,my DH and our 5DC.

I was thinking about laying it out onto a hostess trolley(one that's heated)this year and everyone serving themselves from there or me and my DH serving from there but that's only so I could have a larger center piece on the table,I think there may be uproar though if I try and change it.

HerSymphonyAndSong · 06/12/2018 04:28

If you plate up how do you know where each person likes their gravy?

TheBaltictriangle · 06/12/2018 04:33

Serve yourself suits me & my family best. My son eats like a sparrow so wouldn't be able to eat massive portions if served pre plated portions. He likes to choose what he wants to eat as he's a picky eat with a self diagnosed vegetable allergy!

Thejezebel · 06/12/2018 04:37

The only person I've ever had experience of catering for 15+ of us was my aunt. Usually her sister was the assistant.

She'd shout out Tom? How many sprouts? Gravy? Carrots? Roasties? Speak quickly or you'll get nothing!

I didn't have a big appetite so I'd say can I have a small portion of everything please. My dd would also be with me so I'd 'order' the same for dd.

The woman was a machine. She managed to churn out dinners for 15, sometimes 30 of us in less than 5 minutes. But by God, when she shouted your name, you answered fairly lively lol. Her sister was the veg person, she was the meat person. They were a lovely team. Love them.

And her food was always gorgeous. Her hobby was going to cookery classes.

WereYouHareWhenIWasFox · 06/12/2018 05:25

My MIL plates everything, one person at a fucking time and then brings it through. Like mrs fucking overall. She refuses all offers of help and when she is finally finished everything is fucking cold. She is a shite cook anyway, so probably cold to start with. I hate it so much.

itsnowthewaitinggame · 06/12/2018 05:26

If catering for people outside of my own offspring I put food in the middle of the table. I actually hate people putting food on a plate for me. It makes me uncomfortable that I then need to waste food if I don't like it or have been served too much. I also have no idea what people will choose to eat if I have prepared the meal

HerSymphonyAndSong · 06/12/2018 08:31

I have a history of eating disorders. Someone plating up for me makes me feel quite anxious. I can deal with it and no one would know, but it doesn’t make for a comfortable meal for me

Moominfan · 06/12/2018 08:33

Help themselves, I do enough cooking and cleaning. Least they can all do is plate up. I hate food waste as well so rather people just ate what they wanted

christmaschristmaschristmas · 06/12/2018 16:46

I serve up onto plates in our house.

Pebblespony · 06/12/2018 16:55

I vividly remember being served stuff a mountain of a veg I didn't like on a plate and my mother bullying me into eating it to be polite. Every fucking time we visited my aunt.
I plate when it's just me and dh (dd doesn't get the concept of plates yet, is more likely to tip them over her head), otherwise, help yourself. Minimises offense and 'polite' eating.

haggisaggis · 06/12/2018 16:55

Meat, stuffing and PIBs on plates, rest in serving dishes which get put back on warming plates afterwards.

SheWoreBlueVelvet · 06/12/2018 17:57

People are incapable of serving themselves in groups though.

So they wait politely not wishing to be the first to start.
Then they all wait for the one food item to be passed round instead of helping themselves to what ever is in front of them
And then the moment you start eating someone will want you to pass something.

I hate people really. Christmas is no exception.

Oysterbabe · 06/12/2018 21:29

Growing up my family always plated up. My inlaws never plate up any meal, it's all serve yourself. My inlaws are coming and my family aren't so I'll do serve yourself and try and fit it all on the table, whilst maintaining an empty semicircle around DS the foodthrower's highchair.
I usually plate up when it's not Christmas. If I plate up everything gets eaten. If I don't then a spoonful of everything is left in the dish and it annoys me.