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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Is Janet & Roy still a thing?

86 replies

Casablanca78 · 18/10/2017 23:10

My parents still talk about the one they received in 2014! It still completely puzzles them (I've never come clean it's just too funny that all the family still talk about it).

OP posts:
guessthisisnormal · 19/10/2017 20:01

I would love one for my fil and mil , and happy to return the favour

PhDPepper · 19/10/2017 22:17

@Casablanca78 you could totally do a Simon mayo confession that you were Janet and Roy...

Casablanca78 · 20/10/2017 00:46

Having looked through my old pm's, here's a draft of the one sent to my folks:

How exciting to have finally tracked you down. You have moved so much these past few years, we can’t keep up with you! Please forgive the type written letter - rather lazy of us, I know, but we have been so busy of late and Roy’s arthritis is making it hard for him to write, and what he writes now is quite illegible! We are blessed with so many friends that it is too enormous a task for Janet to write to everyone alone. To help us in our little challenge we have bought a new computer and we embarked on a “Silver Surfer” computer course. It was how we found your new address – using the power of the Internet! The World Wide Web really is something of a revelation for us both and Janet has started working on her family ancestry. It is simply fascinating and she was most excited to discover that a relative on her mother’s side was in fact a servant in the royal household during Queen Victoria’s reign. We always thought Janet had links with royalty!

Our year started rather inauspiciously with the rather sudden death of Biggles. I’m still not entirely sure if it was an accident or not; his relationship with our postman was always rather volatile (Biggles, understandably, loathed men in shorts) and I could have sworn that he always sped up his van as he drove towards our house. Naturally, I submitted formal complaint to the highest level of the Royal Mail and we now have a new postman who seems much less aggressive.

Not having a dog is a mixed blessing. We are now so much freer and both Roy and Janet have travelled extensively this year. In February, Roy combined his love of walking with his enduring Faith and joined on a pilgrimage to Lourdes. He said it was a deeply spiritual experience but his arthritis was not improved by it. In May Janet travelled a little further afield and went on a Yoga retreat in Portugal. The retreat was charming but sadly the food was ghastly, resulting in quite appalling diarrhoea and so a return visit will not be happening in 2015.

As ever, we took the caravan across The Channel to France where we spent the May Bank Holiday weekend touring the stunning coastline of Brittany. We must show you the holiday snaps we took – especially when Janet dressed up in traditional Breton costume. Last time we spoke you were thinking about buying a property in France. Have you managed to do this? Such a charming idea, but not one we would ever choose as we are such free spirits in our little caravan. However, we would love to pop by on our annual travels if you have bought something “bijoux”.

Of course, the big trip this year was in the summer to Australia to see Simon and his wife Amanda in Sydney. We miss Simon so much but they seem very happy there. Amanda is, of course, a charming and delightful girl but she seems very career focused and of course nothing stops the biological clock. Time will tell. Sydney is a stunning place to live and of course we did the hike over the Bridge, but Janet struggled with the wind.

Catherine is in her final year at Oxford. She thinks she is “on track” for a first for her law degree, but she has announced that she no longer considering a legal career and would instead prefer to enter the world of politics. This is not entirely unexpected as she has been a loyal Young Conservative for a good few years now. We are immensely proud of her and we are sure she will be an absolute success whatever her chosen career path. No young man on the scene quite just yet. She says her focus is on her career not her love life, which is most commendable at her age.

How are the girls? The Grandchildren must be such a joy to you both, I really do have a touch of the green eyed monster! I bet you love to spoil them all at Christmas! Do be careful not to give them too much sugar, though. The Daily Mail is quite clear on the terrible impact the white stuff has on our health.

Roy is now Treasurer of the chess club, and has enjoyed using the computer to organise the accounts which were in a most shocking state. He’s always enjoyed working with numbers and feels that this role will be one to keep him busy and entertained as he enters his 3rd year of early retirement. Next year Janet hopes to take a more active role in the community conservation project. This is a passionate and proactive local group aimed at working together to help maintain the architectural integrity of the area, which seems to be turning into one large, homogenous housing estate. We must join together and work hard to preserve our villages. It will involve a lot of campaigning and paperwork, but the new computer will help with the latter and Janet was never afraid of the former!

So, Mike it’s the big Seven-Oh for you in 2015! How exciting? What have you got planned? We would so love to be part of your celebration as it would be simply lovely to catch up properly after all this time.

As ever, we look forward to the New Year with excitement and optimism. Perhaps it will be the year we welcome a grandchild to the family. Maybe we will explore this glorious planet we live on a little more. It is possible a new dog might be welcomed to our home. What new hobbies will we try in the coming months? Time will tell. However, in the meantime we must count our many blessings, which includes you amongst our oldest friends.

We wish you peace, health and happiness this Christmas. Do please feel free to come and stay when you are next in the area.

OP posts:
Casablanca78 · 20/10/2017 00:55

It genuinely was so funny! My parents were totally baffled. They spent days and days trying to remember who these people were and scoured their whole address books, going back years. Eventually they googled and annoyingly it linked to mumsnet so they realised it was a spoof but still can't work out who sent it!

IT GETS FUNNIER though......They then got round to thinking it was my sister and they posted her back a reply (very whitty response to things Janet & Roy had talked about in their letter) which really freaked her out as she obviously had no idea what it was all about.

They then got round to thinking it was someone in the extended family so posted an open response on Facebook (which makes them look a bit like nutters!). I was seriously thinking of setting up a spoof Janet and Roy Facebook page and friend requesting them!

They have no idea it's me! Been so tempted to let on but I think there's still mileage to be had!

OP posts:
Latenightreader · 20/10/2017 00:58

I'd love to send one to my mother (she's in Cambs) and am happy to send to someone from Manchester. I have a letter I wrote a couple of years ago and never sent...

BriechonCheese · 20/10/2017 01:10

I am so up for this. I can send from South Manchester and happy to send for more than one MNer. Anywhere along the south coast of England or America or South Africa would work for me.

I have some terrific ideas.
Do people tend to share what they sent on here? I assume it's best to do so via a photo rather than typing it out so it is less Googleable.

bigbluedustbin · 20/10/2017 01:19

I do this but never knew it was a Mumsnet thing. I started doing it after I received one myself, a big long thing from someone I’d never heard of. Maybe it was a Mumsnetter who sent it!

TroubledTribble28 · 20/10/2017 01:32

Oh dear sweet Baby Jesus will someone please send one to my Uncle in South Wales? I've had an absolutely horrific time lately and he's basically been vulturing my lovely late fathers belongings and a Janet and Roy would send him round the twist in confusion. I'll send them anywhere at all (from South Wales also)

wtf2015 · 20/10/2017 01:51

Me too.

fairyofallthings · 20/10/2017 02:09

Hmm, I do think this is rather nasty. Imagine being a person in the early stages of dementia or with anxiety and receiving one of these.
Sorry Sad

Seti · 20/10/2017 07:14

It’s not nasty at all, fairy.

They are sent to people who the requestee knows very well. They aren’t sent out willy nilly Hmm

Casablanca78 · 20/10/2017 07:20

@fairyofallthings - it's not at all nasty, they aren't random. It's a joke and you just need to choose a friend/family member who will appreciate it!

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soundsgreektome · 20/10/2017 07:40

Not seen this before. But reading that letter above It would appear that Janet and Roy are my inlaws.

hesterton · 20/10/2017 07:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 20/10/2017 08:05

Brilliant OP! So well written. As for nasty, really fairy 🙄

GrumpyOldFucker · 20/10/2017 08:20

I’d love for my SIL & BIL to get one. They live in West Yorks.

I’m in Kent if that works for anyone.

Mooey89 · 20/10/2017 08:37

Please, please can someone do one for my ex in laws - Hampshire/Sussex border...

Will be very happy to return the favour from Portsmouth!

VoodooCat · 20/10/2017 08:45

Eventually they googled and annoyingly it linked to mumsnet so they realised it was a spoof but still can't work out who sent it!

Right, I'm changing the names to Brian and Brenda 🤣

mirren3 · 20/10/2017 08:49

Oh, me too please. I'm west coast of Scotland and would live on for my sister and bil. They lived in Liverpool for a couple of years, if anyone from there would like one from Scotland?

LionsTeeth · 20/10/2017 08:52

@Mooey89 I’m in Hampshire so will happily do one for you ex in laws! Would love one for my parents too!

EssentialHummus · 20/10/2017 08:53

Ooh! Am in south London and can send. Anyone in Manchester, Brum or Wales to swap?

BerriesandLeaves · 20/10/2017 08:56

Op, had your parents really moved around a lot and thinking of buying a property in France so it looked like they knew them?

Mooey89 · 20/10/2017 09:22

@LionsTeeth would be happy to do your parents in return! Will pm you

crazycatguy · 20/10/2017 09:37

Happy to send one from London! I love Janet and Roy. We get one from Suzie every year with an Australian stamp on it. We don't know Suzie.

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 20/10/2017 11:51

I'm happy to send one. Don't need one in return as my mum is a MNer and wouldn't fall for it Grin but can send one from South Wales to whoever needs.

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