PIL bought DD what I was going to get her

[Helgathehairy]

Had agreed that PIL were going to get DD a play kitchen. I was going to get her a shop checkout and trolley. She loves pressing buttons and she loved the trolley in the shop. I had said this to PIL because they'd asked what we were getting her.

On Sunday MIL announced they'd got her a checkout and trolley as well! I didn't really know what to say at the time, I did say I was planning on getting her that and she just kinda said oh well we've got it now.

DH is a bit annoyed because he said he remembers me saying it to them.

I just don't think there's any point in getting her the same think they got her (I was getting her a bigger version of what they got her). Now we're getting her a Duplo train but I'm a bit pissed off at PIL.

My father has bought my dd the complete set of Beatrix Potter books and he has been given them out 3 or 4 books at a time since she was born. She is now 3 and I bloody hope by this Xmas we are done.

It is so tight-fisted I can't even begin to describe how disappointed I am. he just went on a frigging Alaskan cruise with his partner so it's not money problems. His partner btw always gets my kids something nice to wear and perhaps some chocolates and I think she puts thought into the clothes.

To make matter worse my DS and DN are also getting the exact same set of books in the same way for birthdays and Xmas. My sister and I just roll our eyes. I'm due to have DC3 after Xmas and I have pre-warned him that if he thinks he is buying any more bloody Beatrix Potter books they will be going down the charity shop. FFS.

Anyway my point is, at least you PIL actually buy nice things for you DD, mine make do with 1/6 of a present each special occasion.

Surely it's basic common sense to check with the parents before you buy??? Otherwise the child could have three of the same gift!

Like whatabout said, if you wanted to buy something else and had already got the kitchen, wouldn't you buy something to play with the kitchen like food or saucepans?

Flogging it's hardly controlling to make sure there are no duplicate presents. Especially if the mother went out and bought what the PIL were also going to get.

(Although I admit it's not entirely clear if the mother knew the PIL were buying it, if not then it's not really her fault)

if it's going to stay at their house it is shit and annoying. Now if you want to enjoy your child playing with these items you'll have to buy them anyway without the joy. Surprise! You already have one of these.....

It doesn't have to be just about the 2 yr old does it? Why shouldn't the OP get to pick out something special for her own kid - isn't that one of the simple pleasures of parenting?

Besides, a kitchen, a trolley, a cash register all just from GPs is gluttonous at best....pretty hard not to go overboard then when you add in everyone else's gifts. The parents should get to enjoy the bulk of the toy buying if they are so inclined not scale back because relatives will go whole hog.

I'm not buying DS anything this year. The Xmas battle royale between DM and MIL has started, who can buy the most, the biggest, the most expensive thing. DH and I are there in the middle deflecting their attempts at emotional manipulation.

Try not to let it stress you out OP.

Mine have done this every time.

I said I was getting cosy coupe. They ordered it to ours so I had to build it for them. (I'd have had it built and it would have been £15 less).

This year I said I was getting a kitchen. They have ordered one for me to build. Not the one I wanted to get. I want to send it back :(

floggingmolly

She'd have felt more shit on boxing day if she'd turned up to find an identical one installed in the sitting room. This is not the first time.

Who goes to Mammas and Papas 12 weeks before Christmas, buys one of their most popular Christmas gift items, then refuses to tell the child's parents what they bought so they don't buy another themselves, or warn the other GPs?!

I think if you don't say something than they won't know and will keep doing it. There is no way I'd be buying nothing to indulge in competitive shopping between grandparents. That has nothing to do with "generosity" FFS.

DH is going to see them Sunday without me and he asked me if I wanted him to say something. I said no. I'm going to leave it for now but be more alert next year.

That helga is an altogether too reasonable and sensible attitude for MN- shame on you

Slithy - I'd tell them it has to go back and that you've already bought one. Bad enough that you'll have to wait in for collection.

You will be looking at the thing for frickin' years trust me. Buy the one you want and send them an Amazon wishlist for all the gubbins to put in it instead.

Why shouldn't the OP get to pick out something special for her own kid - isn't that one of the simple pleasures of parenting?

Of course it is! choosing something the anticipation etc.

fluffy

I would have just let her give the same gift. preferably both of them together in a room.

Can you give them the money for it so you are giving it to her? Saves you a shopping trip.

Sorry swine!

Maybe I will refuse delivery :)

I don't think you're being precious at all. I'd be really annoyed.

leaves

Knowing my DM she'd have managed to make poor DMIL feel bad and offer to take hers back!