What’s your favourite thing about not having children?

[orthrywreeinvicedifthe]

I absolutely love my nephews to pieces but when I give them back I always really appreciate that I can just go to a shop without having to load them in and out of a car, and that I can make spontaneous plans.

I guess freedom would be number one. Freedom to (often) only have to think about myself, only get myself organised when leaving the house, freedom to do what I want with my annual leave, freedom to go to bed early whenever I want. The list goes on ☺️

My favourite thing is that it's a whole world of anxiety that will never trouble me. However well-adjusted and happy people's children are, there are always things quite naturally to worry about - when they are ill, when they are exploring their independence, the minefield that is the internet these days - not to mention the way they add to cost of living worries in the current financial climate.

Other things I like, such as being free of noise, high pitched shouts and squeals, having to find childcare etc. are all things which parents will one day be free of (unless in some cases when they have a child with additional needs), but even when they are adults people still worry about their children, you only have to spend an hour on MN to see that.

Not having to worry about them until the day I die. 😮

Now I'm in my sixties it's not having grand children.

Not having an alien growing in your body for 9 months and then experiencing torture when birthing it. Not having to endure disgusting breastfeeding. No shrill screaming and tantrums. So glad I didn't have any.

I watch this thread occasionally out of interest, though I have 2 children. The posts about worry/anxiety are bang on. I grossly underestimated how emotionally draining parenting would. I could picture all the joys in advance but had no real understanding of the depths of pain it also brings with it. I personally wouldn’t change my decision but I fully understand, respect and admire those of you who had that foresight and chose to side step it. I don’t blame you. I have wept in therapy about my fear that I will never again feel the peace I once felt in my late twenties. I have particular place and moment in mind when I felt so happy and calm
and fulfilled and inhabiting that feeling again seems totally impossible and at odds with the reality of being a mother.

I hope you manage to reach a calmer state of mind through therapy.

I didn't mean to suggest smugly that my childfree life was a blissful state of never being anxious about anything - I have plenty of anxiety sources; my health, my elderly parents, work - I too yearn for simpler, young days - I'm just glad I don't have the additional source of anxiety that children would bring.

Honestly, everything. But especially just being able to do what I want with my free time, of which I have loads. I spend lots of time with children in family, godchildren, friends' children and I love them and they can be quite fun but I've always left and been sooooo happy not to be responsible for them/thinking about them/having to adapt plans to suit them. It's incessant and I know I would have hated and resented it so I'm v glad younger me took the choice I did

I like coming home and, once showered, being able to sit down and relax in peace and quiet 😳Nobody is there to wind my dogs up, and I know that things will be exactly where I left them when I come home <recalls the days of living with my mother, who would 'tidy' things away, and my purse would be in the tin cupboard and my keys behind a locked door...>

As a mum of two (who likes having kids compared to being childfree in my younger years), I'm interested/curious in this thread!

Out of interest, is there anything you miss about your life before children, outside the sphere of generally being younger?

Surely there's no "one thing" just as there's no "one thing" about being glad you had kids. It's a life choice that's yours and let's all be delighted to live in an era when we can make it.

The title is "what's your favourite thing" though.

... Yes my point being that the premise is flawed

God I do worry about people's comprehension of late

This is a great thread - I wish there was more discussion of how great it can be not to have kids. Three of my best friends have non and a fair few of my friends with children would have been happier without. I am the other way and wish I could have had a few more but I do hope for young women now all options feel valid and life affirming.

How rude! I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you have the Sunday evening grump and didn't mean to make a twattish remark.

Your post made it sound (to me at least, someone who got very high scores on reading comprehension as a six year old I can assure you) as if you mistakenly thought that OP had asked "what's the one thing you enjoy about not having children?", when she's actually asked about "favourite".

It's very easy for me, and indeed others here, who I am sure are not cognitively challenged either, to pick a favourite thing.

For example I'm glad I don't have to deal with nappies, make other people dentist appointments, sit through children singing out of tune, or pay double for school holiday trips abroad, but my FAVOURITE THING is that I'm not constantly responsible for another person and I can just chill out.

I adore my nieces and nephews; I do love having the luxury of being able to accept their choices, how their lives work out, without the idea that it’s not as I wished.

For example, I can love my oldest nephew and his husband, without feeling sad that I actually won’t be a grandmother. That’s a luxury my SIL apparently does not have.

I think it’s entirely natural, as a parent, to dream of your child’s future. It’s also natural, as auntie, to accept it as it is.

I value my peace and quiet time . When I read the never ending threads on here from parents of SEN children I think thank god .

As someone with DC, please enjoy allllll these things for me too 🤣😂

Absolutely the freedom & independence. When I’m not at work, my time is my own. I can, and do, within reason, do whatever I want. I don’t have to take care of anyone, look after anyone , worry about anyone or any of that stuff. Which suits me just fine. I don’t have pets for exactly the same, reason.

Peace and quiet: no squealing, shrieking or tantrums. Unless my neighbour has her grandchildren to visit, but then at least I can close the window and block most of it out.

I don’t think I have a favourite thing.

This is for the simple reason that, had I had children, mine would’ve been the best ever, most wonderful children and definitely superior to everyone else’s in every single way.

The money. Rather surprised no one else has said it.

Lovely post @Sconefuddled.

Too many to list! When I see threads on here about their kids I thank the Lord I never had any (out of choice).