Childminder or Nursery

[mixedmama]

I have a 5 month old and 2 year old who will need some sort of childcare in September.

I have always automatically favoured nursery but have no basis for that really.

If it was just a basic decision between childminder or nursery what would you go for.

I have been let down too many times by childminders, so go for nursery every time now.

Ouch...as a CM that hurts a little! I have always been very reliable and would offer an alternative opinion that your DC's (particularly 5mth old) would benefit from a loving home environment whereby his needs can be catered for on an individual basis, rather than be in a room with lots of others of same age group. The pro's of a CM far outweigh those of a nursery IMO although of course I may be accused of being biased now I need to list them, but my dinner has just been put in front of me, so will do so when my tummy is full!

I too have been let down by childminders. At the end of the day if you don't fit in with them they will drop you, with notice if you're lucky but I wouldn't count on that even. I know plenty of others who have had the same experience as me. I have had to take days off work because the childminders children were ill and even when the rabbit was sick and had to go the vet. After that you then need to schedule your holidays with theirs. Nurseries are always there for you.

I would opt for a good nursery every time, and I still say that even though I am lucky now and my children go to an excellent childminder after school.

What about a nanny - same idea as a childminder - child cared for individually, and in home environment but with your rules etc.

I would choose a nursery, all other things being equal. Have used 4 nurseries and 2 childminders over 3 children and while the childminders were OK, the nurseries offered a lot which seemed to suit my children. They all seem to have enjoyed group settings (they still do, so we use holiday clubs rather than an au pair or holiday babysitter or nanny).

Plus nursery hours are very stable and reliable, it's hard having to take extra time off work if childminder is on holiday or ill.

I do hear about wonderful childminders, I think mine were OK but not that fantastic in terms of activities, variety, going out and doing things.

Also the food has been better, on average, at the nurseries.

And there is no tv on. one of our childminders had a lot of tv on, one didn't, but it's something I wasn't keen on.

Childminder Childminder Childminder!!!!!
though make sure she is a good one (as most are)

IMO most nursarys (even the "best" ones with the fantastic reputations) are not as good as they like us to think

I would not send my child to ANY nursary

A good friend of mine is nursary manager at one of the best 'must go to' nursarys in the area, and she wouldnt let her own chidlren go their either

(this is one of the best nursarys in one of the most affluent towns in this country)

I have never worked in a nursary (and never would) but i know lots of people who have and not yet met a single person who would send their own child to any nursry they have worked in

I have used both for my 3 DC's,who range from 12 yrs to 20 mths.

My DD1 went to a Nursery at age 5 mths,I found it a real wrench to leave her with "strangers" who incidently were very young,some looked 17-18yrs old.

At this age she was sat in a bouncy chair or on someones lap.She wouldn't have her naps there,even though she had a good routine,the cots were in the same room,so the noise level was probably too unsettling.

I hasten to add it was an excellent Nursery by all accounts,but to me was too inpersonal.

I then tried her with a Childminder,who was fabulous,she had her naps upstairs,in a quiet dark room. The childminder took her out to the Library for Baby/Toddler story times,took her to the park,and on "walking" school runs.They often made lots of things together,craft things,pictures and biscuits etc.

My DD1 stayed with her until she was2.5 yrs old,when we moved.She and I were very sad to say goodbye as she'd been like a 2nd Mum to her.

What more would you want for your DC IMO ?

I have since found 2 more Childminders,who have also been excellent.

IME they have been very reliable,and very flexible.

The Cost is an implication as well,especially with 2 DC's IME, even with a Nursery Sibling Discount of 5-10%,this option was too expensive for me,but with Childminders its usually half the cost. HTH

Hi Mixedmama.

I can't speak for nurseries but have had an excellent childminder for my dd1 (now 2.9 months) since she was 18 months. She has not let me down once and was exactly what I needed for my shy and quite clingy little girl (she is no longer shy or clingy). Having said that, my brother was very let down by their childminder so I guess it's luck-of-the-draw.

Good luck with whichever you decide to go with.

Forgot to mention,that alot of Childminders now seem to have a "back-up",for sickness and holidays.They work with another childminder to cover sickness and holidays.

I feel a nursery is a lot safer. With a childminder I just felt I was putting too much trust in one person. And having her say that she reckoned she could look after up to 12 children if she was allowed to worried me slightly. At a nursery, there's a lower children to staff ratio, you know there'll never be just the one person with the children and I feel there's more scrutiny. So a GOOD nursery wins every time for me. I also feel that DS gets more out of it, and it's marginally cheaper.

I would add that DS's nursery takes only 16 children between 18 months and 5 years. That makes it the best of both worlds IMHO.

My chldminder is fantastic. Also a friend. I love how settled and happy ds is when he's with her.

interesting! am now well fed and ready for the pro's of a childminder . Totally agree with you nannyL...I have experienced first hand and have heard many of the horror stories that go along with nurseries. HOWEVER, it is not constructive for me to dwell on that mixedmama.

1. As a CM I work differently, in that I employ an assistant (2 from tom for consistency and cover!)

1. Reliability: this is tricky: you have to find the right one, of which there are many, but make sure you get the nitty gritty of holidays etc. It could work if you agree at the beginning of the year that you will all take the same holiday,etc etc

1. From the point of view of your DC's (the most important bit) at the right CM they will enjoy interaction with a group of children of varying ages, i have always found that my mindees are more advanced socially, verbally and have learnt basic skills such as sharing very early on.

1. they have access to real life experiences...they get to go to playgroups, library, park etc, and even the odd visit to the supermarket, whereby we buy a couple of things such as fruit or or what we are having for lunch, the children absolutely love taking responsibility for giving money to checkout person...also good for them to learn about all this stuff.

1. I have only ever been described as extremely reliable

1. your kids don't pick up so many nasty bugs as you get in nurseries, one LO I know just contracted hand foot and mouth disease from his nursery and had to have over a week off.....

Again tho, you have to ask a lot of questions when you visit Cm's, and know what you want to hear! At the end of the day, you will no when you find the right one

lots more to write about pro's but don't want to hog the discussion!

My CM has ds (nearly 3), her own ds (3), her dd briefly in the morning before school (she's 5). Sometimes she also has another 3 year old.

So at most is three 3 year olds (including her ds) and her dd after school.

Ratios depend on the childminder. Some don't fill their spaces out of choice, some have registration for fewer children.

What made me choose a childminder was that I wanted ds to be cared for in a home environment, with the opportunity for peace and quiet and a limited total number of children around, because I wanted it to be possible for the day to be flexible depending upon what the children wanted to do. ~They often go to toddler group on a Thursday, but if they are tired or the sun is shining will head off to local country park for a picnic instead. And sometimes spend the morning just playing in the garden.

This is just how I felt, and is not in any way a criticism of nurseries. Just what I wanted for ds.

One of the things that attracted me to DS's nursery was the mixed age group, which I agree is one of the plus points of a childminder. DS is not far off being two, and I would have been very very reluctant for him to go to a nursery where he was still in the baby/toddler room.

I guess the fact that DS only goes part time influenced us. He gets to do all the real life stuff on other days. I think I would feel differently if I was looking for full time childcare, as there is a risk of children becoming "institutionalised" (hate that word) in a nursery.

Pros and cons for both.

Bad nurseries are bad and bad childminders are bad.

Agree with Bubble99. Good nursery better than a poor CM and vice versa.

Only ever used a CM for my dds. She was utterly fantastic and we were all gutted when she moved away ( going to stay with her in the school hols).

Advantages were:
Home environment. DDs were together and I think would have found it strange to have been separated and not been able to play together at nursery.

Definitely fewer bugs than their nursery friends ( balances out at school age tho)

I don't really think young babies need to be "socialised" by being around lots of other babies . They got social contact by CM taking them to toddlers etc but had their own space at her house.

CM flexible about late pick ups and mine could do overnight also ( I work on calls and husband travels so vital for me). She could also take them when they were a bit unwell ( within reason , ie not infectious ) or off colour which nurseries don't alway sdo

I too was also concerned by some of the baby rooms I saw in some nurseries. The staff were very young indeed in some of them.

I would be cautious about CMs who do a lot of school runs as your kids may spend a lot of time in the car which is not what you want, obviously.

It's very dependent on the individual CM but if you can find a good one they can be fantastic.

Visit both and go with your gut instict.

Thanks everyone that is really helpful.

TBH a childminder had just never occured to me until recently.

I have viewed a few nurseries and the one I particularly like can only have the DC till 1.30 which is the only down side as ionly need then to keep them for about 30 mins more. So I undertstand about CM perhaps being more flexi. On the plus side, the nursery has certain times when the children of different ages are together so both DSs will be together at various times. They also said that whenever DS1 wanted to go and see DS2 he could no problem. I didnt ask, they just said he could. They also have open door policy which means I can visit whenever... again this info was volunteered.

I know a few CM from the toddler group wego to and also know the mum of one of the children looked after and she sings the praises of the CM. Obv if DC were with them they would be able to still go to toddler group etc.
30

Might have to talk to her further about it and then make a decision

I've noticed that the ones who say go for the nurseries are the ones who want the least upheaval for THEM but not thinking about the child's need.
I'm sorry that they had bad experiences with childminders and having to take a day off because the rabbit is ill is a bit off!
But for babies and children under 3yrs, CMs can be very good as it's more of a home enviroment.
In nurseries there is so much noise that it must make some children "anxious" and start to become competitive.
But then some people like their kids to become "assertive" and feel that mixing with lots of kids will give them social skills.
Yes it does, but it has to be the right kind of skills, as some kids do get good at getting what they want at the expense of other children.
Depends on the temperament of the individual child.

well i have a particular CM in mind so may speak to her. i dont think i could get dh to go for looking thru the list but since i already am familiar with her could work. think i will look into it then pit the nursery against the CM and make decision that way.

I always wanted a childminder as I felt it would be 'cosier' for dd, but I didn't click with any of the ones I looked at. Then I went to see the local nursery just on the off-chance and completely fell in love with it. DD (nearly 2) has been going there since she was 6 months old and loves it. So I would recommend going with your gut instinct.

One drawback of nursery, however, is that they are very strict about hours - I've only been late once, because my train broke down, and I got fined for it. A childminder, I presume, would have been more understanding.

As a childminder I am a bit biased. I would opt for a childminder tho for various reasons. We have the flexibility to just grab our coats and go out if we feel like it, we dont stick to rigid routines like in a nursery. The children get much more attention, cuddles etc. If a child is feeling tired they might just want to chill out in front of the tv for a while (i dont normally have tv on by the way). The children have so many choices and we are much more flexible. At the end of the day, a good childminder is a godsend. From what I hear about my local nursery I would not use one. Potties lying about full , childrens work being binned, young staff with 'couldnt care less' attitude. Childminders tend to be a lot more flexible though with regards to hours etc although there is a downside if no cover for hols or sickness. All I can say is visit a few nurseries and childminders, talk to some mums who use their childcare and then go with your gut instincts. Good luck.

Ripeberry, that's a bit of a provocative statement. I have used both childminders and nurseries but feel that my children have generally seemed happier at the (good) nurseries. It's not all about parental convenience. Some children, even as babies, do like groups, and the bustle of nursery.

For children this age, I'd choose a childminder (and I've used both). DD2 is with a fab childminder now (14 months) and has been since 5 months. I am happy knowing she is in a home-based setting, and when she's 3 she'll go to pre-school as well.