Childminder or Nursery

[mixedmama]

I have a 5 month old and 2 year old who will need some sort of childcare in September.

I have always automatically favoured nursery but have no basis for that really.

If it was just a basic decision between childminder or nursery what would you go for.

My preference too is for nursery and I don't agree that you get a less personal experience for your children either.

My DTs have been going to the same nursery since they were 6 months old (CM wasn't an option at the time obviously though). One of mine still goes for hugs to the nurse who looked after him when he was a toddler and he hasn't been in her room for 3 years.

Course there are some downsides to both, don't know much about CMs but nurseries can be so expensive (I could have a villa in the South of France with the amount of money I have spent)

Another vote for nurseries here. DS (15 months loves his). We went round a few CM's - all through Children's INformation Service. All claimed to be registered with OFSTED but had not been checked?! One also want DS kept in a pushchair for two hours while other mindees were being dropped off in the morning and similar in the afternoon.

I much prefer the security of a Nursery. Think a lot depends on personality of child. DS is quite placid and goes with the flow.

DD used to go to nursery and I am now as cm so have had experience of both.

My dd got on really well at nursery and enjoyed herself there. I had never considered the CM option myself at the time.

As a CM myself now, I would say that for younger children, a CM can be better if you find a good one. I liked dd's nursery but I wasn't too keen on the baby room and I didn't like that in the older room all the kids either slept on the floor (on mats) or sat by themselves quietly while the others slept.

It certainly depends on the CM and the nursery. It also depends on your dc.

Look at both and see how you feel.

And good luck

I'd choose a nursery everytime too. There is always cover in the event of staff sickness, holidays, appointments etc. Means you can take you holidays when you want rather than working around somebody else. Also, nurseries rarely give notice whereas minders tend to give notice a lot more.

There are always other adults around so more monitored and no friends popping in for coffee etc.

No going out for the school runs or to do the shopping.

More messy activities and usually a good range of toys etc.

Children always have play friends of the same age.

I personally also feel that those that work in nurseries do so as their career choice whereas some childminders only do it to enable them to stay at home with their own children. Its also natural to favour your own child, which would rarely happen at nursery as most staff wouldnt work with their own child.

I've seen posts on the internet from minders asking to borrow equipment, toys etc for an inspection. Some just produce a list of what they intend to buy so no controls in place. Nurseries are far stricter in policies and have to be inspected by the fire brigade etc.

DD 14mo has been with her childminders (a married couple) since 9mo.

It was so important to me that it be the same friendly person greeting her every morning (she holds her arms out to go to them now). I know nurseries have keyworkers but they aren't there all the time. Babies need one constant attachment figure more than they need any whizz bang toys IMHO.

The childminders were much more able to follow her home routine and work around her than a nursery where they have a set structure (but mine don't do school runs)

Something I wouldn't have realised before is that DD much prefers the company of the older children there. She is uninterested in babies her own age but loves being spoilt by the older ones.

The stuff about holidays and illness just hasn't been an issue for us so far. In fact I think I have less days off work (one so far in almost 6mo) because she doesn't seem to get as many bugs as babies at nursery.

It takes a bit more legwork to find a good CM- I visited quite a lot who weren't suitable for various reasons but I do think it is worth it especially for >1yr old.

Only 2 cm's to choose from round here, one of which is full and one who's just starting up again after a break. She's more expensive than the nursery, but the main reason I didn't go with the cm was because I wasn't happy with DS being driven around. Having read the comments about car seats I am now even more happy with my decision.

Just to say to Happymumofone - yes, some cm's are doing this job so they are able to be at home with their own children but that does not mean it is not a career choice.

Not only am I working full time looking after other peoples children (who I can assure you, do not come second best to my own dc) but I also go to college after work and also at weekends sometimes in order for me to complete higher education in Early Years as this is MY career choice.

I do school runs at 9 and 3, so my mindees are in the car, they are also in the ar, to go swimming, to soft play, farm visits, toddler groups, to the beach, childminder drop ins, park visits, zoo visits, all on a very regular basis, (the 1st four things weekly)

So by not going in a car thy would miss out on all these things.

I have been ain Childcare for 30 years, in Nurseries, Nanny, and CM, I would never put a under 2 in a Nursery.

HappyMummyOfOne I also do this as a Career Choice my Ds is 30, I dont think he needs me to say at home with him

And my house is fire, gas and health & safety checked yearly.

My network supervisor visits half termly.

Education Dept visits termly.

Ofsted 3 yearly.

We are often checked more than Nuseries.

I have had 6 days off in 8 years, all because a child was brought in with D&V and passed it on.

They same thing has happened in a Nursery I worked at, we couldnt get cover there either as half the staf came down with it, so we had to close.

I have to be honest I think part of the reason that I didnt immediately think of CM is because of the career choice thing, altho of course I know that many do pick it as a career.

I think I may have to employ the services of a CM and nursery if I go with nursery anyway as I should be able to get there on time but cant guarentee it which is a bummer.

i think childminder would be better as as you 5 month old wont get to uch attention at nursery a chld minder will only aloed a certain amount of children and will get much more attention rom cm, plus she ll be with sibling.
i worked at nusery and dont believ its a place for a baby or child under 3, i found the babies if they were good they were left until they cried my ds went nursery with me and was very fustarting he was in the baby swing rom orning till lunc and back in again after. a cm will be able to give your child the proper care and dcs will be taken outfor days rather than just sit in a crowded nurswy

I do find it amusing that people hold CM's to a higher standard of care than you would give your own child... no school pick ups, no meeting freinds (who in my experience are often CM's and meet at child freindly venues) etc. Of course you may think that if you are paying you want a differnt kind of care than you would give and thats your perogative but don;t most SAHmums with more than one DC do school runs, shopping, housework etc wihtout any bad effect on their child? IMlimitedE good CM'd don't favour their own child and do far less domestic type stuff than you would do if you stayed at home with them yourself.

I'm slightly confused by why the reason a CM chose to do it is an issue, only that they are good at it.

I'm really glad to say that the nursery I chose had a low number of babies per staff - which meant that they were never left to cry - there was always someone that they knew who could care for them. And Ds always reached out when his keyworker came to collect him in the morning. And they were always really flexible - no rigid routine, particularly in the babies group. So I don't feel that putting him in a nursery led to any less care than he might have had if he had gone to a child minder.

I may be coming across a bit pro nursery here - but there have been a lot of negative comments which do not reflect my experience of nursery care.

I think the critical thing is that, whether you choose a cm or nursery, you need to find a good one. If they are good, your child will be cared for and their development helped. If you can only find a mediocre one or bad one, your dc may end up left in a swing for hours on end, left crying, or left to amuse themselves.

there's a lot of negative comments about CM's as well mistlethrush. We could have stopped at Bubbles commetn really but everyone wants to point out their own experience!

I agree Kew; I'm very happy for DS to go for trips to the shops, watch the CM cooking, walk or drive to toddler groups etc. Far better he be learning about the world around him the way he would if he was with me or DW than be cooped up all day.

Yes Kewcumber - I think that there is a lot to be said for cms and was considering for ds as well as the nursery option. There are pros and cons with both aren't there!

So, what's the advice then - whichever you choose, find a good one?

"whichever you choose, find a good one?" - Amen!

if your mil is available why not take up the offer. mine went to mil and fil. they will remember their time there for ever. it keeps the old ones young and the children love it.
if you go with cm, just make sure you check all the paper stuff and that you really like her. we're not all bad

I have a not so perfect relationship with my ILs and they looked after DS1 when I went back to work and it was the worst experience of my life,... to the point that I actually felt like I was goign mad and daily considered divorce it was that bad. They look after the kids fine and love them to bits but they have a huge lack of respect for me and me as their mother so cannot go down that route again. They will be doing one day per week and my family will be doing one day so that they still all get their time with the GCs. Sorry I digress.

Kew - I think the reason that it mattered to me about why they were doing it is because I could train and stay at home and look after my children and others, btu I know I am not really a child person and would only be doing it for that purpose and frankly then wouldnt be very good. However, i do completely accept that what matters is whether or not they are good.

FWIW this thread has encouraged me greatly nt to limit my choice and I will be looking into CM as well as nursery.

mixedmama when my youngest was 4mths old I had to go back to work and started to look for childcare. I had never needed child care in the past with my other three so my mind was a complete blank, and whatever impressions I had of either form of care were not based on first hand experience. In fact I don't know what they were based on. My initial gut feeling was probably that a nursery would provide 'safety in numbers' and that I didn't want my baby to become too attached to another woman.
Then I went to look around two local nurseries and left with an overwhelming feeling of being totally physically unable to leave my baby in a 'baby room'.

I started to look for a childminder instead, and my son stayed with his lovely chldminder until the term before he was due to start school.

He then went to one of the two original nurseries so that he could be part of a larger group of 4yr olds and start to cope with the more institutional lining up, putting hands up, being part of a crowd etc rather than part of a family (and he had been very much included and cherished as an honarary member of his childminder's own family).

The nursery was fab for a four year old and most likely also for 3yr olds.

My son often remembers things about his time there and asks if he can go back to visit.

For babies I would go firstly on your gut instincts AFTER visiting, and then ask for references from current parents and staff and even ask to sit in on a day if possible.

Visit as many childminders and nurseries as you can and then you can base your decision on good research. Sometimes it does come down to whoever has the spaces you require, but nothing compares to doing your homework and getting out there with an open and enquiring mind and seeing for yourself.

I was so impressed by my son's childmnder that I became one myself and now care for 6 under fives and employ an assistant.

In some ways I do consider myself to be more of a nursery than a childminder and if I ever were to move to business premises and set up a larger nursery (which I doubt as I love this so much), then I know that my nursery would be just as good as my childminding is now for all ages.

Good luck and I hope you find some really great care for your two.

DH and I were talking about this, and it completely boils down to individuals in both cases. A nursery is only as good as its staff.

DS has now attended three different nurseries (due to house moves). He started at the first for one day a week when he was 6 months old. The head nursery nurse was fabulous and they really bonded. Then we had to move. The second nursery we tried, DS never really gelled with. The facilites were fine, better than the first in many ways - lots of outdoor play etc. But the staff always seemed bored and never really engaged with DS at all. Every other week we'd have to go and collect him because he wouldn't settle, so we withdrew him.

The nursery he is now going to, for one and a half days a week, is again absolutely brilliant. The staff are all really interested in the children, it's always the same people you see, and DS is happy when dropped off and when picked up again.

I think the comments about never ever using a nursery for under twos or under threes are pretty sweeping statements. The nursery DS attends is like a family. The children are all together and the younger ones learn from and look up to the older ones. There are enough staff to allow for age appropriate activities and give extra attention where it's needed. Altogether I can't speak highly enough of this nursery.

Does anyone think it's relevant the CMs normally have children themselves, whereas the staff in nurseries are often young and haven't yet had kids?

I think this would make me feel more confident with a CM (no experience of it though, I'm just trying to decide which is the better option for us)