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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Letting very new nanny go - how much ntoice or no notice?

75 replies

lisalisa · 01/03/2008 22:38

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PrincessHunker · 01/03/2008 22:42

There's no way I can post and get this right, LL!

Why's she unsuitable? That would depend on whether I let her work notice or not, possibly.

PrincessHunker · 01/03/2008 22:42

Has old nanny moved in down the road yet?

Original poster

lisalisa · 01/03/2008 22:52

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PrincessHunker · 01/03/2008 22:56

God, she sounds vile! (Am the latter, hence realising you wouldn't take a word I said seriously...!)

I wouldn't let her work her notice. Not sure it's fair she leaves without knowing why you're not happy with her, but that's for experienced nanny-havers to expand upon.

soapbox · 01/03/2008 23:08

Lisa - there is a statutory minimum notice period of one week's notice, but only once the employee has completed a months continuous service. see here

I think. if she has only worked for two weeks, you should be okay, although I personally could not imagine paying less than a week in these circumstances.

I think you need to be honest with her, as difficult as that might be!

trockodile · 01/03/2008 23:13

Did she leave a job to come to you? I think that makes a difference. If not i wouldn't worry too much, if yes I think a week is fair.

BecauseImWorthIt · 01/03/2008 23:17

I think you really do need to tell her your reasons - it's not fair on her otherwise.

Just imagine how she will feel. You are in effect sacking her, but not telling her why. How do you think you would feel? You would be imagining all kinds of things.

It will be difficult but then being an employer is not easy. Don't hide from it and give her some constructive criticism if you can. You can't just get rid of her without telling her why.

Original poster

lisalisa · 01/03/2008 23:27

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BecauseImWorthIt · 01/03/2008 23:37

Sounds like it's about the easy way out for you and not giving her feedback which might help her in her career.

You will hurt her feelings anyway, so surely it's better to tell her why.

You are being cowards by not telling her the real reason why. Sounds like you're just trying to get out of things rather than thinking about her.

You have a responsibility as an employer. Try to think about someone else and not just yourselves.

Original poster

lisalisa · 02/03/2008 00:00

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BecauseImWorthIt · 02/03/2008 00:11

You are obviously upset and cross about what has happened. And I'm not trying to say that you aren't.

But you have also said that you're not going to tell your nanny any of this.

She deserves to hear your views

a) because if she's no good at her job then she deserves to know why, so that she can work on her skills

b) so that she understands that she is not doing her job well

By not telling her you are doing two things. Firstly you are not helping her develop her skills as a nanny.

Secondly you will undermine her self esteem.

Why would you not talk to her about this and how you feel? You are obviously angry about it - you are taking it out on me!

I'm not making stupid accusations - just pointing out that she deserves better.

And if she's that bad, then it is important that you tell her, otherwise other employers will also suffer.

Why wouldn't you tell her these things?

fuzzywuzzy · 02/03/2008 00:13

Lisa, I'd just tell her you feel it's not working out, and quite honestly after reading thro your reasons for letting her go, giving her any notice is very nice of you.

I use nannys too, and no nanny would have lasted the fortnight if she behaved in that manner towards either of my children......

BecauseImWorthIt · 02/03/2008 00:14

And I should say that none of my nannies would have lasted either for these reasons - but I would have told them exactly why, not just hidden behind platitudes.

dippydeedoo · 02/03/2008 00:19

just a thought .... you chose her from interview and it is early days would it not be more reasonable to point out some of the instances and work towards resolving them?

ShinyDysonHereICome · 02/03/2008 00:21

I think you really need to tell her why you're not happy as it would be very sad for her to treat another family and their children in such a manner

Original poster

lisalisa · 02/03/2008 00:42

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BecauseImWorthIt · 02/03/2008 00:51

Er - hello? I'm not making any silly accusations!

You have employed someone and you are now not satisfied with them.

But rather than tell them why, you want to let them go with minimum inconvenience to yourself and not give them any constructive feedback.

You didn't expand on any of your reasons in your original post, so gave us no idea of why you felt the way you did.

Now that you have, I would agree with you that you have a right to be concerned.

But I still think that you should talk to your nanny about these concerns. How else will she learn that this is unacceptable if her employers don't tell her?

Why are you so angry with me?!

BecauseImWorthIt · 02/03/2008 00:53

And you are being a coward. Sorry if you think this is a silly accusation, but you are.

ShinyDysonHereICome · 02/03/2008 00:55

I do think it is a tad irresponsible, and well I'm sorry but a bit lazy to just terminate someone's employment without giving a valid, and honest reason.

Original poster

lisalisa · 02/03/2008 01:08

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ShinyDysonHereICome · 02/03/2008 01:09

All of what you have described is the role of a Manager/Employer Lisa.

BecauseImWorthIt · 02/03/2008 01:14

Exactly SCHIC.

Lisa, you have to take emotion out of this and point out to her why/how she has been failing in her job.

You may not like it, it may be unpleasant, but that's all a part of employing someone. And you have a responsibility as an employer, whether you like it or not.

BecauseImWorthIt · 02/03/2008 01:18

And your argument about it being in earshot if your children is silly. Take her somewhere where they will not hear.

You may not think she is suitable for her job as a nanny, but this is your opinion.

When it comes to your reasons for dismissing her, you have to be very specific about what happened and why this wasn't appropriate. Deal with the facts and not the emotions. Then you can have a real discussion and not an emotional outburst.

ShinyDysonHereICome · 02/03/2008 01:21

From what you've said your mother-in-law sounds very helpful and supportive- could she not supervise the children for half an hour whilst you chat to your nanny?

You need to be very clear about what you're saying to her.

Remind her of how she performed at interview, and how her responses indicated that she would be an asset to your family.

Site examples of her practice that have been disappointing, and suggest the practice that you would have expected-linking to her responses at interview.

You may have tears, and a little bit of confrontation from her. You need to be sympathetic to her feelings whilst clear that your children deserve better than this; at the end of the day they come first and that has got to be your bottom line.

branflake81 · 02/03/2008 07:08

I think you absolutely HAVE to give reasons. Imagine if you were fired, seemingly out of the blue, with no explantion. It's the right thing to do.

Secondly, I assume you haven't yet spoken to her about your concerns. It might be worth explaining to her why her actions and attitude are wrong and giving her a chance to improve. That is your call.

I can see why you don't like her and am not questioning that. But I am questioning your treatment of her dismissal.

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